In Foster Care and Pregnant

so my friend is pregnant and in fostercare. her and her boyfriend want to be together and take care of their child, but he lives in another state... what can they do to be together and do whats best for their new baby? can she emancipate and go live with him? or can she get moved from fostercare in newmexico to fostercare in texas and live there with him to raise thier child??

She can wait till she is 18 and released from the foster care system. A pregnant teenager in foster care is NOT going to be emancipated in any state. Nor is the state going to approve a pregnant minor in foster care being relocated out of state to be with the man who impregnated her.

She should have thought of this BEFORE she spread her legs.

well whats going to happen to her and her baby if her current foster parents dont want her. i dont see why she cant go to texas to raise her baby. i know she made a stupid choice, but nothing can change what she did, now alls she can do is try her best to help her baby. shes only 16

also she has been talking about running away from cps after she has her baby if they dont let them be together. she will be 17 by that time so my question is... if shes 17, running away from cps and living in texas, will the police even look for her? i heard that in texas you can move out at 17. i dont think its true but she does and i need to convince her not to do this. so whats your advice?? i also heard that the police in texas dont even bother looking for 17 year old runaways.

I believe I already explained why she can't go to Texas. It doesn't matter whether you understand why or not. It isn't going to happen.

The cops won't have to look for her. All they have to do is call the cops in Texas and send them to Loverboy's house. They will do it if the state tells them to, trust me. Then they will take her pregnant little minor ass and send her right back where she belongs. Where she will be kept under a much tighter watch.

My advice is that she stay right where she is because she's only going to end up right back there in the end anyway.

Well that won't happen If she don't get caught. And also I don't understand why you guys that answer our questions are so rood. Were just asking. Calm down. If we piss you off that bad maybe you should try finding someone else to answer.

Timberwood, if I had a dime for everytime I heard that phrase Won't get caught. I would be a rich man.

The answer to your question is she will not get emancipated. If she runs away, she will eventually get picked up. Then she will be placed back in the foster care house. If not some other foster care home.

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Quoting cbg

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She should have thought of this BEFORE she spread her legs.

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I saw this yesterday and slept on writing something back or not. Seriously - I don't want to get into drama - but I think you need to be more empathetic to these children. Yes children - not adults who have had practice learning the consequences of their mistakes.

Children are not placed in foster care thru ANY fault of their own. Ever. If it is the kids that is doing something wrong they are not placed into foster care but a different legal detention system.

These kids had parents who did drugs, beat them, sold them into prostitution, neglected their medical care and left them with dozens of absessed teeth, covered in lice, no food for days on end, chained them to toilets, etc. etc. Or maybe placed them up for adoption at birth and the poor kid was never chosen because they have physical and emotional issues from being a crack baby...

Had to get that off my chest. This girl who "spread her legs" may have only found the one person in her short life who actually cares for her just for being her. Everyone else in these kids lives are PAID to care for them - from the judges, lawyers, social workers, group home leaders and foster parents. The children know these people are paid to be nice to them. The boy and girl should not have sex - I agree - but being SO HARSH about their mistake was really unjustified.

Your opinion is noted.

However, if no one has taken the trouble to care for these kids, that's all the more reason that SOMEONE needs to point out to them the necessity of thinking of the future, not to mention a reminder that the law is not going to bend because they want to be with that one person. If they've never understood about NO before, they need to learn it now.

Haven't you ever heard of ToughLove?

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These kids had parents who did drugs, beat them, sold them into prostitution, neglected their medical care and left them with dozens of absessed teeth, covered in lice, no food for days on end, chained them to toilets, etc. etc. Or maybe placed them up for adoption at birth and the poor kid was never chosen because they have physical and emotional issues from being a crack baby...

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So that makes it OK to get pregnant and make another child who will face the same life of neglect and poverty?

Of course it isn't okay - but the girl is already pregnant and it does not sound like she wants to have an abortion. I completely agree with the advice given. Don't run away - don't pretend you are adults when you are children - work with the foster system to get parenting classes.

My comments come from remarks posted on the other threads that were also started by the OP.
I agree with being straight to the point with the legal facts - but blaming the kids for being in foster care and telling her to keep her legs shut after the fact is not going to do anything but make them want to avoid the adults that should be helping.

No one is blaming her for being in foster care. Where did you get that?

SOMEONE needs to tell her to keep her legs shut. She evidently doesn't know enough to do it on her own.

I got it from you...
http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76592

"you are in the foster system for a reason (whether it's because of something you did or because of your family situation, there is a reason)"

Kids are not put into foster care because of something they did - it is their parent's fault. Now we have a pregnant teenager whose baby will probably repeat the cycle. We should be encouraging her to do the right thing. I only hope she would be treated a little more gently than a thirty year old who is trying not to pay child support for a one nite stand.

There are two ways to tell someone to go to hell. One way will piss them off and the other way will have them looking forward to the trip :D

I'm sorry, but I simply do not agree that there is NO possibility that a child is in foster care for any reason except for something their parents did. I know of habitual runaways, for example, that have ended up in the foster care system for one reason or another.

And I did not say that to THIS poster.

If you want to make your responses all gooey and sweet, feel free. But the last time I looked, I still had the right to respond in the manner I felt would be most effective.

They don't have to like me for it.

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I got it from you...
http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76592

"you are in the foster system for a reason (whether it's because of something you did or because of your family situation, there is a reason)"

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It happens to also be a true statement. What, are we prohibited from telling the truth nowadays if it's not fluff and bunnies?

I guess the kids who either publically or privately thanked me for telling it to them like it is didn't know what they were talking about, huh?

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Quoting cbg

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She should have thought of this BEFORE she spread her legs.

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Could you be more rude? I mean, really, was that necessary? Does it make you feel better about yourself?

Oh, I could be a lot more rude than that if I tried.

Hello I am a pragnant 16 year old too and i am 31 weeks pragnant. i was reading through this article and just wanted to share some info with you. Well i was told by my social worker that you did not really need to run away. she can leave and refuse foster care placement anytime. She just needs to tell where she is going and a phone number she will be at. the police will not go after her. the social worker is not going to report her as a run away as long as she tells where she is. This will not make her a run away.....SHE IS JUST REFUSING FOSTER CARE PLACEMENT. if she can last at least 6 months with out receiving social services she can start to apply to get emancipated. this is only if she is 16.

I am not saying that is the best thing for her.
But to this good news is a big defect. the trouble is when the baby comes. I don't know if when the baby is born if the baby will go into care or she can keep it her. that is the answer i am trying to find out. What i do know is if she stays in foster care her baby will be under foster care custody too. this means that once she turns 18. she may not be able to take her baby with her. even if she is 18. she will take the baby when the foster care system saids so.this can be till she is 20 or 30 or never. need to be careful about her decisions is just not her is all about the baby. you sont want the baby to be in one home to another one. think think think.......all this is true hosestly i am in foster care too with the same situation. so i have not refuse placement beacause i dont know if my baby will be taken away after she is born.

i have read some pretty rood things on here. being 16 and pragnant is not the end of the world or the worse thing. i say it for experience, i am pragnant too. i happy and love my babys father. that way i understand how she feels and i hope that she does what her heart tells her to. what make her and her baby happy. life isn't about what you got but what you make out of what you got. love is the best thing. instead of fighting so much you should support her talk to her if you really want her to have the best life, because the best life comes when you are happy... not with out freedom in a miserable place.

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Quoting pollito

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Hello I am a pragnant 16 year old too and i am 31 weeks pragnant. i was reading through this article and just wanted to share some info with you. Well i was told by my social worker that you did not really need to run away. she can leave and refuse foster care placement anytime. She just needs to tell where she is going and a phone number she will be at. the police will not go after her. the social worker is not going to report her as a run away as long as she tells where she is. This will not make her a run away.....SHE IS JUST REFUSING FOSTER CARE PLACEMENT. if she can last at least 6 months with out receiving social services she can start to apply to get emancipated. this is only if she is 16.

I am not saying that is the best thing for her.
But to this good news is a big defect. the trouble is when the baby comes. I don't know if when the baby is born if the baby will go into care or she can keep it her. that is the answer i am trying to find out. What i do know is if she stays in foster care her baby will be under foster care custody too. this means that once she turns 18. she may not be able to take her baby with her. even if she is 18. she will take the baby when the foster care system saids so.this can be till she is 20 or 30 or never. need to be careful about her decisions is just not her is all about the baby. you sont want the baby to be in one home to another one. think think think.......all this is true hosestly i am in foster care too with the same situation. so i have not refuse placement beacause i dont know if my baby will be taken away after she is born.

i have read some pretty rood things on here. being 16 and pragnant is not the end of the world or the worse thing. i say it for experience, i am pragnant too. i happy and love my babys father. that way i understand how she feels and i hope that she does what her heart tells her to. what make her and her baby happy. life isn't about what you got but what you make out of what you got. love is the best thing. instead of fighting so much you should support her talk to her if you really want her to have the best life, because the best life comes when you are happy... not with out freedom in a miserable place.

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The only thing sadder than being 16 and pregnant is being 16, pregnant, illiterate, unable to communicate effectively at the very least in the written form and unable to support the child you are bringing into this world without taxpayer assistance.

"pragnant" and "rood" are not the words you were looking for sweetheart. Leave the baby in foster care so that it has the chance to be raised by adults who are capable of supporting it and giving it the education that it needs to be able to make it in this world. Spend the rest of your time educating yourself instead of making babies.

Please site a legal source that allows for a child to refuse to be placed in foster care.
I think this is a HUGE mistake.
I also want to remind you that if your child is adopted they are not in the foster care system and will not be bounced from house to house.

Oh, and to add to the previous advice: don't take legal council from social workers. When the police show up and try to drag her home, there will be NO amount of "but my social worker said..." that will make a hill of beans of difference. Police and courts are NOT beholden to the opinions of social workers, especially when they are wrong about the realities of the law and how it functions. (And I used to BE a social worker, so I know of whence I speak).