Child Custody Discussed in Post Nuptial Agreement
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California
Here is my story. I am originally from Russia and have been living in the US for the last seven years ( I am a legal resident)
My husband and I got married about three years ago in SC, and shortly after we got married we decided to move to CA. He cant live without his parents and he decided that they should come along with us. Prior to moving I knew very little about them; we would go and visit them once in a while and I thought they were nice people. Both my husband and his parents sold their houses in SC and bought one big house in CA. My name was not put on the mortgage. We moved in together and in a month I realized I could not live there. His mom started accusing me among other things in cheating on her son and stealing from the house. She made my life impossible and while it was all happening my husband never had guts to stand up for me. One day, after argument I simply left the house. My husband found me at my work several days later and promised me that he will " work on things". I took him back but told him I would never be back to the house. We decided to rent somewhere else. I could not afford apartment on my own and i simply decided to start renting rooms in other peoples houses. And that's how we lived for the last three years. Us - in a little room in somebody's house, his parents - in a huge house in the same town. I was paying our rent and bills and he was paying half of the mortgage on the house we did not live in. It never occurred to him that he had financial obligations towards me too. For the last three years we lived like roommates, we did not have any joint accounts or credit cards together, everything was paid separately. He never tried to sell the house and to solve the problem in any other way. He still has a very good relationship with his parents and makes sure that they have comfortable lives.
My husband is a sweet talker and that's why I could never left him. I also love him.
My husband is 42 years old ( I am only 28) and he does not have kids yet. To have a kid is his dream. he had been trying to convince me to have a child for the last three years. Although I knew we weren't financially ready for a child I finally gave up and we made a baby. I thought something was gonna change; i thought his parents would change and he finally would decide to get a better paid job so he could help me to support the baby.
I am five months pregnant and nothing has changed. After I get out of the hospital I have no place to go. I can't bring the baby to the house I live in now; I have no relatives here, in the US. Recently his mom called me again and accused me in stealing things from the house and bringing those things to Russia to my parents as presents. I confronted my husband and told him that he needs to stand up for his pregnant wife. He told me that I needed to get over "those little things". To make this story short, he went back to live with his parents. It's been 1,5 weeks since we separated. I has never been so long. Today his father called me and left me a message saying that I need to stop sending my mail to their house ( I have no other place to send it). He said that I need to pick it up before he shreds it. When I called him back he accused again in stealing things from their house and told me that I am a f''g thief and I am not a part of their family. In his defense I can only tell that he is first generation Filipino, and I guess that's how they solve problems.
I just have realized that my husband will never stand up for me and most likely will never be able to support his wife and a child. Since I have no place to live I am going back to Russia to have my baby there.
I know that my husband won't leave me alone; he will be calling me in Russia everyday and promising that his parents changed their mind about me and that he found a place for us to live. I, in my turn, don't want to stay in Russia and raise my colored son there as a single mother ( everybody is white in Russia). It is not a good time for divorce and I still hope my husband and I can reconcile and I can move back to the US after the baby is born.
But here is what bothers me. I know that his parents will always stay in the picture and I know that his mom would really like our divorce and us getting a joint custody. In this case she will always see her grandson and won't have to deal with me ( that's what happened to her other son). In any case his parents will always be around and accusations like these won't stop.
When I go home and have my baby there, my son will be granted only Russian citizenship. And although my husband is his father , he won't be able to bring the baby back without my permission ( Both of us will have to go to the American embassy in Russia and sign papers so baby could also be granted an American citizenship).
I was thinking that while I am still in Russia I possibly could make him sign a post nuptial agreement where we discuss child custody in the case of divorce. He will have to sign it because otherwise I won't agree to bring the baby back home to the US. In the agreement we will agree that in the case of the divorce I won't claim the share of the house (although my name is not on the mortgage, they bought the house while we were already married) and in his turn he will refuse from the child's custody.Knowing that if divorced I will have sole custody over the child will finally make my husband step up, start supporting his actual family and strand up for his wife. he won't let his mother destroy our marriage just because he knows it will make him lose his child. I just need to make sure that when I come back I won't be "neglected" as I have been neglected before.
So, this is my story. What should I do? Is it possible for us to come up with such an agreement or it will be a waste of money and in the case of divorce court will come up with its own decision? In the case of divorce I at least want to have a right to bring my baby back to Russia to his grandparents without his permission. Should I try to find a lawyer or it will be a waste of money because things such as child custody are not covered in post nuptial agreements?
Re: Child Custody Discussed in Post Nuptial Agreement
Get a post office box for your mail.
If custody matters go to court, the court will do what the court believes is in the child's best interest.