I have almost the exact same situation here in Illinois and my son is 11. He has resisted visitation since he was 5 years old. I have tried motions for interuptions and suspensions. Nothing has been resolved and the situation has been becoming more volitile as years have passed. I have withheld visitation 3 times, an NO the court does not like that.
It is probably not a pre teen manipulative thing...there are real problems. Just because there aren't needles hanging out of arms and cords wrapped around necks does not mean that your childs wishes should not be considered. Of course, it could be worse...but as parents we want the best possible for our children and you do not seem to be getting out of the system what is necessary for your sons positive growth experience. The system is broken.
12 Year Old Boy Doesn't Want to Have Overnight Visitation
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09-20-2009, 11:54 AMpardusRe: 12 Year Old Boy Doesn't Want to Have Overnight Visitation
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09-20-2009, 12:02 PMCourtClerkRe: 12 Year Old Boy Doesn't Want to Have Overnight VisitationPlease don't blame the system for your inability to choose the right person to procreate with. That was solely your decision alone. The system had nothing to do with it. You invited the system into your life.Quote:
Quoting pardus
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09-20-2009, 12:35 PMgctsadRe: 12 Year Old Boy Doesn't Want to Have Overnight Visitation
In Oregon/Washington the courts can not force a child after the age of 13 to see a parent if the child verbally states their life could be in danger. (i.e. if you send me there I will run away!) If the child says this to a police officer then you can get a statement from that police officer to use in court. If your X is manhandling your child I do not blame you for not wanting your child in an unsafe position. if you are really concerned about him hurting your child, tell him you will end his child support payments if he suspends his parenting time, if you really care you wont care about the money and if he really doesn't care about your kid then he may do this.
TO COURT CLERK:
ANYONE IS CAPABLE OF MAKING A CHILD, IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY SHOULD RAISE ONE -
09-20-2009, 12:49 PMcyjeffRe: 12 Year Old Boy Doesn't Want to Have Overnight VisitationThere are miles of difference between a child being worried for their safety and a petulant child throwing a tantrum.Quote:
Quoting gctsad
By your reasoning, when the child is at dad's, all he would have to do to stay is to say, "if you send me back to mom's, I will run away" and then dad keeps him.
Right?
Children are not given that much power in any court room I know of.
Yes, and it will say, "the child is 13 and throwing a tantrum".Quote:
If the child says this to a police officer then you can get a statement from that police officer to use in court
You are not actually telling the OP to intentionally violate a court order, are you?Quote:
If your X is manhandling your child I do not blame you for not wanting your child in an unsafe position. if you are really concerned about him hurting your child, tell him you will end his child support payments if he suspends his parenting time,
Make that two court orders.
In the meantime, mom does not have the authority to suspend CS payments. Only the court does. If dad doesn't pay, saying "Mom told me I didn't have to" won't fly very far.
Further, if you start teaching a child that they can be bought and sold for the right amount of money, you really should consider parenting classes.
See above "violating a court order is a bad idea" statement.Quote:
if you really care you wont care about the money and if he really doesn't care about your kid then he may do this.
No, but, legally, it means they have every right to try.Quote:
TO COURT CLERK:
ANYONE IS CAPABLE OF MAKING A CHILD, IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY SHOULD RAISE ONE
Even if. -
09-20-2009, 12:59 PMCourtClerkRe: 12 Year Old Boy Doesn't Want to Have Overnight VisitationPlease post the statutes in both states that support your statement. I suppose if a child says "if you send me to school, I will run away!" they don't have to go there either, or does this fictitous law only apply to noncustodial parents????Quote:
Quoting gctsad
And if you spend a little time trying to figure that out before you cock your legs open, then maybe y'all wouldn't have all these problems. Being a little selective with your genitals goes a long way.Quote:
TO COURT CLERK:
ANYONE IS CAPABLE OF MAKING A CHILD, IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY SHOULD RAISE ONE
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09-20-2009, 01:00 PMcyjeffRe: 12 Year Old Boy Doesn't Want to Have Overnight Visitation
Thought of something else...
What proof do you have of these incidents happening outside of your son's statement?