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Mother Trying to Get Custody

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  • 04-06-2009, 02:04 AM
    kmydav11
    Mother Trying to Get Custody
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    My husband's ex-wife is filing a motion for custody, to change from joint legal and sole physical (we have the girls) sole custody to her. Her grounds are things we did that we've been told by our attorney that she might get custody for. One of the big things is that she is coming after me because I have said pretty nasty things about her to the kids, which she got proof of.

    Others are order violations, refusal to provide her with medication of one of the girls (she didn't pay for it) when they go to her home, and we don't like her giving things to the girls (it's our house, our family - she tries to sneak photos of her in with the girls, etc.).

    The girls call me mom, and she's going on about that because a few years ago my husband was short-sighted enough to sign an agreement that the girls would be discouraged from calling anyone other than her Mom. Now she has found out that the girls call me mom (I love that they do), and that I have told them that she is their biological mom, and that was about all she is (really, she's not a good person).

    I have lost my temper with her a couple of times, and once attacked her because she said something to me I felt was mean.

    We have been trying to find a way to take all rights from her, and the girls say things sometimes about how she is when they are with her that make us think she's not responsible. She doesn't pay child support regularly, but she does visit them (She lives in Utah, we live in California-she comes here every month to have them for a weekend), but I am mom when she is not.

    She found out that I put her on a blacklist at their day care place and didn't tell the school about her (so they refused to release any information to her).
    We've lied a couple of times and made false accusations in court about things (a mistake, we know), but that's because she doesn't deserve her kids, and we wanted to make sure she didn't. She is using that too.

    Is all of this grounds for her to take custody from us?

    What we have against her should be enough to stop her:

    4 years ago she was arrested for prostitution, but the charges were dropped. Still admissible, right? What court is going to give custody to a prostitute?

    She's a single mother, we provide a 2-parent home.

    We make a lot more money than she does.

    The girls have lived primarily with us for over 7 years now. Moving them to Utah would hurt them, right?

    She isn't regular with her child support, and is in arrears, and her argument is that she has had to pay for her own visitation expenses (more than child support SUPPOSEDLY).

    Please tell me we have enough to stop her. Our attorney isn't saying much, except that we need to be apologetic in court, that that's what will help us most. That's not good enough.

    I know we haven't been perfect, and, taking advantage of anonymity, I have tried to be as clear her as possible to get a non-biased answer. Their mother is disgusting, and no way should she get the kids. What can we do to stop her in her tracks?

    Thank you.
  • 04-06-2009, 03:28 PM
    Xena
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting kmydav11
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    My husband's ex-wife is filing a motion for custody, to change from joint legal and sole physical (we have the girls) sole custody to her. Her grounds are things we did that we've been told by our attorney that she might get custody for. One of the big things is that she is coming after me because I have said pretty nasty things about her to the kids, which she got proof of.

    Others are order violations, refusal to provide her with medication of one of the girls (she didn't pay for it) when they go to her home, and we don't like her giving things to the girls (it's our house, our family - she tries to sneak photos of her in with the girls, etc.).

    The girls call me mom, and she's going on about that because a few years ago my husband was short-sighted enough to sign an agreement that the girls would be discouraged from calling anyone other than her Mom. Now she has found out that the girls call me mom (I love that they do), and that I have told them that she is their biological mom, and that was about all she is (really, she's not a good person).

    I have lost my temper with her a couple of times, and once attacked her because she said something to me I felt was mean.

    We have been trying to find a way to take all rights from her, and the girls say things sometimes about how she is when they are with her that make us think she's not responsible. She doesn't pay child support regularly, but she does visit them (She lives in Utah, we live in California-she comes here every month to have them for a weekend), but I am mom when she is not.

    She found out that I put her on a blacklist at their day care place and didn't tell the school about her (so they refused to release any information to her).
    We've lied a couple of times and made false accusations in court about things (a mistake, we know), but that's because she doesn't deserve her kids, and we wanted to make sure she didn't. She is using that too.

    Is all of this grounds for her to take custody from us?

    What we have against her should be enough to stop her:

    4 years ago she was arrested for prostitution, but the charges were dropped. Still admissible, right? What court is going to give custody to a prostitute?

    She's a single mother, we provide a 2-parent home.

    We make a lot more money than she does.

    The girls have lived primarily with us for over 7 years now. Moving them to Utah would hurt them, right?

    She isn't regular with her child support, and is in arrears, and her argument is that she has had to pay for her own visitation expenses (more than child support SUPPOSEDLY).

    Please tell me we have enough to stop her. Our attorney isn't saying much, except that we need to be apologetic in court, that that's what will help us most. That's not good enough.

    I know we haven't been perfect, and, taking advantage of anonymity, I have tried to be as clear her as possible to get a non-biased answer. Their mother is disgusting, and no way should she get the kids. What can we do to stop her in her tracks?

    Thank you.

    What on earth has your husband been doing about YOUR attitudes and actions?


    IF he has agreed with you, you can expect that the mother has a good chance of prevailing in court. Because she definately has grounds, by your own admission.

    Thanks to you, and posssibly himself, your husband needs an attorney, and he should begin now to prepare himself to being the non custodial parent, who will be paying CS.
  • 04-06-2009, 07:04 PM
    CourtClerk
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    I absolutely cannot take this post seriously. I just can't because it is purely disgusting.

    However, on the off chance that it is real, I would hope that the mom in this situation reads this and gets in contact with me. I know a kick ass attorney that I could probably convince to take this case pro bono.
  • 04-07-2009, 07:48 AM
    Baystategirl
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting kmydav11
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    My husband's ex-wife is filing a motion for custody, to change from joint legal and sole physical (we have the girls) sole custody to her. Her grounds are things we did that we've been told by our attorney that she might get custody for. One of the big things is that she is coming after me because I have said pretty nasty things about her to the kids, which she got proof of.

    Others are order violations, refusal to provide her with medication of one of the girls (she didn't pay for it) when they go to her home, and we don't like her giving things to the girls (it's our house, our family - she tries to sneak photos of her in with the girls, etc.).

    The girls call me mom, and she's going on about that because a few years ago my husband was short-sighted enough to sign an agreement that the girls would be discouraged from calling anyone other than her Mom. Now she has found out that the girls call me mom (I love that they do), and that I have told them that she is their biological mom, and that was about all she is (really, she's not a good person).

    I have lost my temper with her a couple of times, and once attacked her because she said something to me I felt was mean.

    We have been trying to find a way to take all rights from her, and the girls say things sometimes about how she is when they are with her that make us think she's not responsible. She doesn't pay child support regularly, but she does visit them (She lives in Utah, we live in California-she comes here every month to have them for a weekend), but I am mom when she is not.

    She found out that I put her on a blacklist at their day care place and didn't tell the school about her (so they refused to release any information to her).
    We've lied a couple of times and made false accusations in court about things (a mistake, we know), but that's because she doesn't deserve her kids, and we wanted to make sure she didn't. She is using that too.

    Is all of this grounds for her to take custody from us?

    What we have against her should be enough to stop her:

    4 years ago she was arrested for prostitution, but the charges were dropped. Still admissible, right? What court is going to give custody to a prostitute?

    She's a single mother, we provide a 2-parent home.

    We make a lot more money than she does.

    The girls have lived primarily with us for over 7 years now. Moving them to Utah would hurt them, right?

    She isn't regular with her child support, and is in arrears, and her argument is that she has had to pay for her own visitation expenses (more than child support SUPPOSEDLY).

    Please tell me we have enough to stop her. Our attorney isn't saying much, except that we need to be apologetic in court, that that's what will help us most. That's not good enough.

    I know we haven't been perfect, and, taking advantage of anonymity, I have tried to be as clear her as possible to get a non-biased answer. Their mother is disgusting, and no way should she get the kids. What can we do to stop her in her tracks?

    Thank you.


    Vile...Just vile.

    Your husbands attorney is correct. HE doesn't have much. Frankly I am surprised the attorney would even represent your HUSBAND considering how harmful he has allowed his insane wife to be to his children.
  • 04-07-2009, 08:10 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    (The links in this post don't lead to any inappropriate photographs, but should not be considered "safe for work".)

    In running a Google search on your name, I found this, this, this and this - four reviews posted by somebody using your handle (kmydav11) for an escort named "Marley" in Salt Lake City.

    I'm not sure what you're up to, but you're not being straight with us in your post.
  • 04-07-2009, 05:57 PM
    kmydav11
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    I am sorry, obviously this was not the right place to come for legal advice, instead it is a place to get others' opinions.

    As for my handle, it wouldn't be the first time more than one person had the same username. I do not know anyone named Marley. This and all of the other posts are all opinion, and this is obviously not a place for straight up legal advice.

    Mr. Knowitall: Why would someone not be straight up in a post? And why would you bother trying to find out who I am, that's internet stalking, when I am on a valid forum asking a valid question, being candid about my situation, being honest about the facts. So why would you go looking for me? Is this a forum where if people don't like you they try to find you so they con do...(?) Emphasis here in Internet Safety, people. Mr. Knowitall has probably tried to lookup everyone here.
    You may not like me, but you don't know me, and you don't know my reasons for what I do.
    Saying I'm "up to" something is absurd. I just asked a question.
    Ever sign up for anything and have that username taken? Yeah, like the fact that someone else has my username means I'm up to something. That's crazy.
    Thanks for all the useless "advice".
  • 04-07-2009, 08:00 PM
    Xena
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting kmydav11
    View Post
    I am sorry, obviously this was not the right place to come for legal advice, instead it is a place to get others' opinions.

    Actually, this is an excellant site to find legal advice, your problem is that you don't like what your own husband's attorney has told him. Since our answers have reinforced what the attorney has said, it doesn't surprise me at all that you don't like our advice either.
  • 04-09-2009, 05:42 AM
    Baystategirl
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting kmydav11
    View Post
    I am sorry, obviously this was not the right place to come for legal advice, instead it is a place to get others' opinions.

    As for my handle, it wouldn't be the first time more than one person had the same username. I do not know anyone named Marley. This and all of the other posts are all opinion, and this is obviously not a place for straight up legal advice.

    Mr. Knowitall: Why would someone not be straight up in a post? And why would you bother trying to find out who I am, that's internet stalking, when I am on a valid forum asking a valid question, being candid about my situation, being honest about the facts. So why would you go looking for me? Is this a forum where if people don't like you they try to find you so they con do...(?) Emphasis here in Internet Safety, people. Mr. Knowitall has probably tried to lookup everyone here.
    You may not like me, but you don't know me, and you don't know my reasons for what I do.
    Saying I'm "up to" something is absurd. I just asked a question.
    Ever sign up for anything and have that username taken? Yeah, like the fact that someone else has my username means I'm up to something. That's crazy.
    Thanks for all the useless "advice".

    Vile............
  • 04-09-2009, 06:57 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: Mother Trying to Get Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting kmydav11
    View Post
    Mr. Knowitall: Why would someone not be straight up in a post?

    I don't know. Why don't you tell us?
    Quote:

    Quoting kmydav11
    And why would you bother trying to find out who I am, that's internet stalking, when I am on a valid forum asking a valid question, being candid about my situation, being honest about the facts.

    Don't be absurd.
    Quote:

    Quoting kmydav11
    So why would you go looking for me?

    Because your story didn't make sense. You're clearly playing games and wasting everybody's time.
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