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Is It Legal for My 13 Year Old to Watch My 8 Year Old

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  • 02-26-2009, 12:17 PM
    ladycowboysfan
    Is It Legal for My 13 Year Old to Watch My 8 Year Old
    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Texas

    I'm a divorced mother of two children and we all reside in the state of Texas. The divorce decree states that their dad gets them every 2nd and 4th weekend of every month. This coming weekend of February 27, 2009 thru Feb 28th, 2009 is the 4th weekend of the month and they should be at their dad's. However, I agreed to keep my kids as he is chief cook for a cookoff team that participates in the BBQ cookoff for the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo.

    Before I agreed to do this for him I already had plans to attend this event myself as the team he is cook for is ran by my boss. I'm still planning on going but was hoping someone could tell me if I am violating any laws in the State of Texas by letting my 13 year old daughter watch my 8 year old son.
  • 02-26-2009, 04:03 PM
    Xena
    Re: Is It Legal for My 13 Year Old to Watch My 8 Year Old
    Quote:

    Quoting ladycowboysfan
    View Post
    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Texas

    I'm a divorced mother of two children and we all reside in the state of Texas. The divorce decree states that their dad gets them every 2nd and 4th weekend of every month. This coming weekend of February 27, 2009 thru Feb 28th, 2009 is the 4th weekend of the month and they should be at their dad's. However, I agreed to keep my kids as he is chief cook for a cookoff team that participates in the BBQ cookoff for the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo.

    Before I agreed to do this for him I already had plans to attend this event myself as the team he is cook for is ran by my boss. I'm still planning on going but was hoping someone could tell me if I am violating any laws in the State of Texas by letting my 13 year old daughter watch my 8 year old son.

    I do not believe that it would be illegal, depending on how mature your 13 year old is. I know that I started babysitting at age 11/12, but of course that was 40 yrs ago and things were very different.

    If your 13 yr old is capable, you should make sure that your daughter knows exactly what to do in an emergency. Make sure you post contact numbers, on the fridge is a good place. Although she probably already knows the numbers, kids can panic in an emergency, so you should write down your cell, Dad's cell, Grandparents, neighbors, etc. Also, let those people know in case she does need to call them.

    You also should have a talk with her about what you consider her responsibility to be, for instance, can she have a friend over, is she allowed to use the stove,that type of thing. Another thing that can come into play will be what type of neighborhood you live in. If it is normally safe, there shouldn't be a problem. However, if you are in a higher crime area, you would be taking more of a risk.
  • 02-26-2009, 04:57 PM
    farmer
    Re: Is It Legal for My 13 Year Old to Watch My 8 Year Old
    I believe it is. In Tn. a child was babysitting a younger child and the younger one drowned and the parents were charged with neglect and something else like manslaughter I believe. Please wait til Mr.Knowitall or Missy or Aaron weigh in before you make your decision.
  • 02-26-2009, 05:03 PM
    aardvarc
    Re: Is It Legal for My 13 Year Old to Watch My 8 Year Old
    There's not a flat number or age. If any complaint is made, authorities will look at the maturity levels of the children involved, the overall safety of the home, and related factors. Twelve is often considered an unspoken appropriate age to be babysitting, and would be considered in light of the number and age of the other children involved (better to care for older children who can talk, as opposed to infants, etc.). Then again, there are some 17 year olds who have no business caring for even one child of any age. In other words, each case generally gets evaluated individually. I've taken 911 calls from children as young as 10 who were calm, cool, and collected in an emergency and saved someone else's life - as well as calls from 38 year old adults who totally fell apart - so levels and abilities can really vary. If YOU feel comfortable that your child is mature enough to watch your other children, most of the time the legal system will follow your feel (since you know your child best) unless there is some glaring evidence to the contrary.

    Some things you can do to improve the skills and abilities of your eldest to watch other children (yours or anyone else's) could include:

    1. call your local fire or health department - there are CPR and first aid classes geared to all ages, and most are free for attendees under 18 (can never have TOO much training on this, at any age)

    2. make sure you have an easy to use list of emergency numbers kept in a constant location in your home (inside the cabinet by the kitchen phone is my recommendation) and that ALL of the children in the home know where it is and what numbers to call for what (remember, if something happens to your eldest, one of the OTHER children might need to seek help) - and make sure there is a basic first aid kit (especially include ice packs - either the crush-and-use kind or some in your freezer - kids often freak out when they see swelling)

    3. make sure all of the children know your full name (children often panic and can only tell people about "mommy"), where you work (name of the business, the address, your boss's name, and business phone number) as well as their own address and some basic directions on how to get to your home (major streets)

    4. make sure your children know any trusted neighbors, their names, and how to contact them if they need help - also make sure the neighbors have YOUR contact info (work and cell numbers) in case your children need to vacate your home and show up there - you don't want them running back into a burning house to try to retrieve the contact list in the kitchen

    5. make sure your eldest is comfortable calling 911 - often children who have "played" on 911 in the past and had an officer show up and they got in trouble will never call again, even when they should; at the other end, you want to ENCOURAGE your child to call 911 if they run into something they're not sure how to handle (something scares them, someone strange knocks on your door, obviously if someone gets hurt somehow, etc.). Make sure they know that it IS ok to call 911 for things, even if there's not blood and guts everywhere (children are often resistant and don't think of calling unless something REALLY big happens - they are used to adults calling for help and even 16 year olds can "freeze" and sit there wondering who is going to call for help - make sure you explain that even just being scared is a good enough reason). Police (and you) would rather be safe than sorry.

    6. make sure there are fresh batteries in your smoke detectors and that they work, then set it off so your child will be familiar with the sound, and show them how to clear or reset it

    7. have "the talk" about strangers, whether its the mailman, the meter reader, the nice guy looking for his lost puppy, etc. The door opens for NO ONE. Ever. Even if someone saying they are the police show up without being called, teach your kids to call 911 to VERIFY that it's the police BEFORE they open the door. Believe me, the police would RATHER you do this.

    8. make sure there are plenty of 'no cook' or microwaveable food and snacks around - you don't want them cooking without you home unless they've got a lot of prior experience

    9. if you don't have a regular wired phone (you use cell only) make sure there is either an alternate phone or an extra charged battery around - teenage girls can talk much longer than a phone can hold a charge, and you want to make SURE they always have a way to call you or help if needed and haven't talked the phone into the proverbial ground

    10. remove any firearms from the home, or keep them in a place SEPARATE from the ammunition and under lock and key - I could tell LOTS of horror stories, but they all have ONE thing in common - parents who thought their children either didn't know the gun was in the house, or if they did, that they had NO interest in it or had already been warned to stay away from it. Take no chances. Gun. Ammo. Never together with kids in the house.

    Covering things like these not only makes your kids safer, but if there should EVER be a question about the abilities of who is watching the children, having made such preparations and discussions ahead of time can really CYA.
  • 02-26-2009, 05:14 PM
    babyfat5
    Re: Is It Legal for My 13 Year Old to Watch My 8 Year Old
    I one time asked a cps socail worker this question. There is no "legal" age for kids to be left home alone or to babysit. However if something happens you are responcible and could very well be charged with neglect. It is a judgement call. So if you do leave the 13 year old in charge and something happens you could have a problem but if nothing happens your fine.
  • 02-26-2009, 05:23 PM
    farmer
    Re: Is It Legal for My 13 Year Old to Watch My 8 Year Old
    Quote:

    Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    there's not a flat number or age. If any complaint is made, authorities will look at the maturity levels of the children involved, the overall safety of the home, and related factors. Twelve is often considered an unspoken appropriate age to be babysitting, and would be considered in light of the number and age of the other children involved (better to care for older children who can talk, as opposed to infants, etc.). Then again, there are some 17 year olds who have no business caring for even one child of any age. In other words, each case generally gets evaluated individually. I've taken 911 calls from children as young as 10 who were calm, cool, and collected in an emergency and saved someone else's life - as well as calls from 38 year old adults who totally fell apart - so levels and abilities can really vary. If you feel comfortable that your child is mature enough to watch your other children, most of the time the legal system will follow your feel (since you know your child best) unless there is some glaring evidence to the contrary.

    Some things you can do to improve the skills and abilities of your eldest to watch other children (yours or anyone else's) could include:

    1. Call your local fire or health department - there are cpr and first aid classes geared to all ages, and most are free for attendees under 18 (can never have too much training on this, at any age)

    2. Make sure you have an easy to use list of emergency numbers kept in a constant location in your home (inside the cabinet by the kitchen phone is my recommendation) and that all of the children in the home know where it is and what numbers to call for what (remember, if something happens to your eldest, one of the other children might need to seek help) - and make sure there is a basic first aid kit (especially include ice packs - either the crush-and-use kind or some in your freezer - kids often freak out when they see swelling)

    3. Make sure all of the children know your full name (children often panic and can only tell people about "mommy"), where you work (name of the business, the address, your boss's name, and business phone number) as well as their own address and some basic directions on how to get to your home (major streets)

    4. Make sure your children know any trusted neighbors, their names, and how to contact them if they need help - also make sure the neighbors have your contact info (work and cell numbers) in case your children need to vacate your home and show up there - you don't want them running back into a burning house to try to retrieve the contact list in the kitchen

    5. Make sure your eldest is comfortable calling 911 - often children who have "played" on 911 in the past and had an officer show up and they got in trouble will never call again, even when they should; at the other end, you want to encourage your child to call 911 if they run into something they're not sure how to handle (something scares them, someone strange knocks on your door, obviously if someone gets hurt somehow, etc.). Make sure they know that it is ok to call 911 for things, even if there's not blood and guts everywhere (children are often resistant and don't think of calling unless something really big happens - they are used to adults calling for help and even 16 year olds can "freeze" and sit there wondering who is going to call for help - make sure you explain that even just being scared is a good enough reason). Police (and you) would rather be safe than sorry.

    6. Make sure there are fresh batteries in your smoke detectors and that they work, then set it off so your child will be familiar with the sound, and show them how to clear or reset it

    7. Have "the talk" about strangers, whether its the mailman, the meter reader, the nice guy looking for his lost puppy, etc. The door opens for no one. Ever. Even if someone saying they are the police show up without being called, teach your kids to call 911 to verify that it's the police before they open the door. Believe me, the police would rather you do this.

    8. Make sure there are plenty of 'no cook' or microwaveable food and snacks around - you don't want them cooking without you home unless they've got a lot of prior experience

    9. If you don't have a regular wired phone (you use cell only) make sure there is either an alternate phone or an extra charged battery around - teenage girls can talk much longer than a phone can hold a charge, and you want to make sure they always have a way to call you or help if needed and haven't talked the phone into the proverbial ground

    10. Remove any firearms from the home, or keep them in a place separate from the ammunition and under lock and key - i could tell lots of horror stories, but they all have one thing in common - parents who thought their children either didn't know the gun was in the house, or if they did, that they had no interest in it or had already been warned to stay away from it. Take no chances. Gun. Ammo. Never together with kids in the house.

    Covering things like these not only makes your kids safer, but if there should ever be a question about the abilities of who is watching the children, having made such preparations and discussions ahead of time can really cya.

    great post!
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