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Abandonment of a Child
My husband has two kids from previous marriage. The second child who is 12 years of age always had argument with his dad. Yesterday they got into it again that he (my husband) said he better send him to his Mom otherwise he might hurt him. So he did sent him to his ex-wife, by the way that's one of the reason why my step-son picked a fight with his dad because he said he wants to live with his Mom. He even purposely get f's and d grades in school to show his dad that he's not going to do well in school if he lives with us. Anyway, today, we got a call from from the ex-wife and told us that she can't provide for him and that she can't enroll him to a school there because she's not financially capable of. She said if my husband don't take him from her someone's going to jail, she meant my husband for abandoning his son to her. So, can my husband be held liable for that in any way? she does not pay support, by the way, for the two kids. Oh, we're in Florida.
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It's not criminal abandonment if you leave the child with the other parent. Ive got 2 kids and they have never "charged" me to enroll the kids in school, so I don't know why she would even make that statement. She can get a court order requiring dad to pay child support, but that's about all she'll get.
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abandonment...
Thank You for the reply. I think she based her argument on issues like 1.) she can not fend for herself alone so there's no way she could feed him ( yes, she has a job) 2.) she does not have a place to live because she was ejected from the apartment she was in before her son was sent to her; 3) she's not the person in custody of the child. So all these factors she said will just make it impossible for her to put him to school-which of course the government would question if he's out of school for a long time.
My husband and I were thinking of taking him back and committing him to a place where they shape up these type of kids but she (ex-wife) does not approve of it.
I don't know, these are all new for me, I'm from another country and all these just blows me away :) but I'm learning...
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If dad is the one with the right to choose the child's school, he doesn't need mom's approval to send the boy away to a boot camp type school. It sounds as though the kid could really use a dose of reality here. The longer he gets his way through arguing and throwing a fit, the worse it will get. With the child being male, there is also the fact that he could very soon be physically stronger than both mom & dad. Letting him act this way is just asking for much bigger problems down the line. While I don't think boys & girl should really be treated differently while growing up, I know that I'm probably more strict with my son, than with my daughter when it comes to disipline, but he's gonna be bigger than me before he's actually an adult. I want to make sure he KNOWS, no matter how big and strong he gets, mom can still take him down if he needs it. 8)
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You're right, he really need a dose of reality here and I guess same goes with his mom because she had been making her son believe that he could live with her anytime he wants. That of course what made him feel like he could do anything because he reasons that he'll live with his Mom anyway. He often verbalize it that he can do just anything he wishes in our house and no one could touch him and if anyone dared, he'll hit back. Before, my husband would tell his ex-wife that he'll fight her over getting my step-son. But I'm not gonna sit back and watch him what he does and I told my husband I'll lose it one day. So now that my husband gave in to her bluff that she's taking her son--she's freaked out. It's almost comical. I think in a way my step-son is learning from all these now because his two half-brothers with his Mom were both yelling at him because now they're kind of get involved with it because their Mom is asking for their help, though these same half brothers told my step-son one time that he can divorce his father and live with his Mom anytime he wants since he's already 12 years old and from what I read about divorcing parents, they were so ignorant about it. Now they were all screaming at my step-son and I bet he's realizing now that these people who always promise to take care of him if he ever leaves our care aren't there for him anyway.
I like the way you said you handle your kids though. I applause you for that :wink: