Looking to Get Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CT
I'm current in a sticky situation, so I will try to paraphrase. Left my ex husband in Sep 2007, gave custody of our son (now 2.5 yrs) to him because I knew I wasn't going to be able to provide for him as I was starting over with nothing. At first, he seemed alright with the visitation, but then slowly began demanding shorter times and dictating the days I could take him (on my own visitation!). He even demanded that I give up my 3rd (dictated by the courts) week to take him to see my family for 2 weeks. He would ignore calls, and would wait a month to call back. Now, I haven't seen my son since July 2nd, 2008. The last time I heard from the ex was in the middle of July when he threatened to take me to court because I said no to letting his wife adopt our son. I haven't heard from him since, and I haven't been able to get an address or a phone number to him. He is obviously trying to keep me from our son.
I'm filing contempt, and I am also going to try for custody, and would like to know if I'm crazy and if I have a case that could grant me custody.
I'm not into drugs or alcohol, I'm a private music teacher, and a member of the Army Reserve (no chance of deploying). I live in an apartment with my fiance (who is not violent or angry towards me or my son-they've met once).
Any help is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

There is always a chance that you can get custody but waiting 6 months and not notifying the court doesn't look good for you. Get going with filing contempt on him.

Yes, I know that it doesn't look very good, but I do have my phone logs and emails that I have sent to him, and his entire family during this time- I never stopped trying to contact him. I saw a councellor because I was a ball of nerves during this time, and went through a self-esteem class. He has taken advantage of my good nature, I'm not a person that deals well with an agressive personality- and it has left me stunned. The only thing that rings in my head is one of the things he's said to me, "Anna (his new wife) is his mother now." I don't care that he remarried, and I'm sure she is great with him, but I'm his mother and he deserves to have the same time with me. I'm not the richest person in the world, but I have a lot to give him.
Will my logged attempts to reach him help?