What Are His Chances

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

I will make this as short as possible. Married, filed for divorce in Feb 08. Paperwork was messed up so he had it redone and is sitting on them right now. Two kids, age 11 and 1. He is military, we lived in housing. I moved back home to parents house, 600 miles away (no choice).

The kids have been in my custody since we left, with his agreement. 11 year old has been in counseling since Aug, 1 year old is not affected, YET. We attend church regularly, 11 year old has a church group every week. 11 year old enjoys his school and mates, and is very active in his schools band. We have a huge support system here, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc, on BOTH sides. Were ex lives, there is none.

Ex has only seen the kids two times in the past 10+ months. I have offered to take the kids down to see him, meet him half way etc. Every time he has a different reason as to why he can not. He does not call the kids very often (once a month is the norm.) but he calls and texts me alot more. 11 year old has own cell phone, so no excuse to NOT call.

Ex has a girlfriend now. Which I am fine with. Ex is trying to force me to meet her though. I have no desire or want to meet her. I am sure she is great, but I do not want to be friends with her, just yet. Since I said I would not meet her, and apparently made the mistake of saying I am willing to "let" my kids meet her, he is now threatening to take them away from me.

Reasons he stated he can take them away:
-I live with my parents, the kids share a room with me but we each have our own bed.
-My brother, his girlfriend and child live here as well.
-In the past my mom has been verbally mean to me. (name calling)
-It is a suspect that my brother smokes marijuana and has had some in the home at one time or another.
-There are guns in the house, in a gun safe, all registared, child locked etc. Dad and brother belong to a hunting club.
-I do not work, but go to school full time.

Reasons why I hope he can not take them from me:
-He was arrested for a sexual assult a few years ago, innocent by a military jury.
-I have threatening emails from him about taking the kids from me.
-I have threatening voicemails from him as well. Example: 3 a.m., you better pick up the phone, you have my kids, do you know what I can do to you, etc.
-He will be deploying soon.
-Lost his security clearance with the military due to bad credit, and other things he will not discuss.
-Even when I offer to pay for a ticket for him, he does not visit his kids.

Does he have a good chance at taking them from me? I do not drink or use drugs. My kids are with me 24/7, no daycare or babysitter. (school is online)

I do not think that he has any chance of getting custody at this point bc of his impending deployment. Keep a detailed record of phone calls or the lack there of. If he threatens you just ONE TIME, you need to report the threat to his CO and record all conversations with him. They sure sound like empty threats bc if he had half a brain, he would realize that you can do more damage to him than he to you. He answers to the military first and they don't take threats seriously and he should understand this from his previous encounter with the military's justice system.

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Quoting KDR97

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

I will make this as short as possible. Married, filed for divorce in Feb 08. Paperwork was messed up so he had it redone and is sitting on them right now. Two kids, age 11 and 1. He is military, we lived in housing. I moved back home to parents house, 600 miles away (no choice).

The kids have been in my custody since we left, with his agreement. 11 year old has been in counseling since Aug, 1 year old is not affected, YET. We attend church regularly, 11 year old has a church group every week. 11 year old enjoys his school and mates, and is very active in his schools band. We have a huge support system here, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc, on BOTH sides. Were ex lives, there is none.

Ex has only seen the kids two times in the past 10+ months. I have offered to take the kids down to see him, meet him half way etc. Every time he has a different reason as to why he can not. He does not call the kids very often (once a month is the norm.) but he calls and texts me alot more. 11 year old has own cell phone, so no excuse to NOT call.

Ex has a girlfriend now. Which I am fine with. Ex is trying to force me to meet her though. I have no desire or want to meet her. I am sure she is great, but I do not want to be friends with her, just yet. Since I said I would not meet her, and apparently made the mistake of saying I am willing to "let" my kids meet her, he is now threatening to take them away from me.

Reasons he stated he can take them away:
-I live with my parents, the kids share a room with me but we each have our own bed.
-My brother, his girlfriend and child live here as well.
-In the past my mom has been verbally mean to me. (name calling)
-It is a suspect that my brother smokes marijuana and has had some in the home at one time or another.
-There are guns in the house, in a gun safe, all registared, child locked etc. Dad and brother belong to a hunting club.
-I do not work, but go to school full time.

Reasons why I hope he can not take them from me:
-He was arrested for a sexual assult a few years ago, innocent by a military jury.
-I have threatening emails from him about taking the kids from me.
-I have threatening voicemails from him as well. Example: 3 a.m., you better pick up the phone, you have my kids, do you know what I can do to you, etc.
-He will be deploying soon.
-Lost his security clearance with the military due to bad credit, and other things he will not discuss.
-Even when I offer to pay for a ticket for him, he does not visit his kids.

Does he have a good chance at taking them from me? I do not drink or use drugs. My kids are with me 24/7, no daycare or babysitter. (school is online)

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Being a miltary spouse of over 10years and gone through a couple custody cases...few pieces of advice. One if he threatens you..do not call his CO...since you are seperated and divorcing they won't do much especially since you live so far away. You can and should call the police where you live, they can have him arrested where he lives or at least charged with the harrassment. Second because of so many problems in last couple of years with military parents loosing custody while deployed to war...serving thier country, many states have passed laws and federal laws are in the works to say that no permanent changes can be made to custody while a parent is deployed and in many states the laws are stating that deplyment can not be used against a parent in custody. His security clearence and bad credit have nothing to do with his ability to be a father. His arrest for sexual assault again has nothing to do with your custody case and a judge won't hear it especially being that was the military who dealt with it and found him innocent. You living wiht your parents is fine, but you sharing a room with your 11 year old son...thats not the best, having your kids where drugs may be is not ok, but its your exs accusation and word versus yours so unless he can show and prove to the court that is true it's just hear say. Hear say doesn't get you far in court. Since you have the kids and he agreed to that you will probably still keep the kids as long as you can show that they are taken care of, have a good support, and you will be able to provide for them there shouldn't be an issue with you keeping them. Keep all the threatening messages, even if you choose to not turn them over the the police...take them to court for custody, keep any and all emails, and try to record phone conversations if you think it may help your case. Keep phone records to show how little he calls....offer and support your son in calling his dad...foster and support his having a relationship with his dad...it cant hurt. Then if they make a visit and meet the girlfriend..ok, but whats important is these kids and the relationship with their parents...not the girlfriends so let that go, don't discuss it. I wouldn't go out of my way to make sure we met her, how good does it look that you seperate in Feb and by Dec he has a new girlfriend thats so serious you and the kids need to meet her, yet your divorce is not final...great that your offering so much to make him visit....if he doesn't take you up then let the courts know and they will decide whats best for the kids...and I'm sure it will go your way. If you have any other questions going about some things with the military if your not getting support from him or other things....send me an email..I can help!