Can I Still Prosecute My Abuser?
My question involves criminal law for the state of: Massachusetts
When I was 8/9 I was abused by my uncle, he was married to my Aunt for a short period of time. The abuse was not rape, but it occurred on two separate occasions (One occured in a different state, NH, the first was in MA), both around the age of nine.
i told police when i was 13 or 14, but he denied it and i never went to court because i was afraid to speak out. i am now 27 and i am wondering if it is too late for me to bring him to court to face the damage he has done to me.
any help or advice is greatly appreciated, thanks for listening!
Re: Can I Still Prosecute My Abuser I Think Its Tearing My Fam Apart That I Didn't
You will have to speak to the law enforcement agencies of jurisdiction where the acts took place. if the one was reported to the police, but died due to lack of prosecution or cooperation, then that one is likely a done deal. Any additional acts might still be able to be prosecuted depending on the laws in the state or states in question.
Keep in mind that absent some corroboration or a confession, this will be nearly impossible to prove. So, don't hold out all hope for peace and contentment with prosecution. Seek counseling regardless of what might come of your report to the police.
- Carl
Re: Can I Still Prosecute My Abuser I Think Its Tearing My Fam Apart That I Didn't
I'm in agreement with Carl. Even if the report ends up with a successful prosecution and punishment for the offender, that in and of itself won't undo any damage - and although it is totally understandable for victims to WANT this to happen, the truth is that even when it DOES (which isn't likely in this case), most victims don't get the sense of relief, safety, or healing that they anticipate. That type of healing takes time, perseverance, and in most cases, professional help - regardless of whether perp ever sees the inside of a courtroom or not. This is most especially true if the victimization in question happened while still a child - while really important things like self image, values, personality, coping mechanisms, and other factors were still in the formative stages. Trying to pursue either a criminal or civil case without having received such professional support (and assuming the professional in question agrees that you're in an emotional position to face the process), is never a good idea, as the process itself can be brutal and re-victimizing.
In addition to contacting the appropriate law enforcement agency where the individual incidents occurred, you should ask those agencies if they have a victim advocate on staff who can help you to understand the process (or for an advocate at the district attorney's office if a case is initiated) and what you can and can't realistically expect to happen. You might also seek the services of a sexual assault advocate in your area who can also give insight into the process in your state, as well as make referrals to both group and individual counseling for yourself and your family.
Re: Can I Still Prosecute My Abuser?
Even with corroboration this would be tough. You'd be turned into the abuser basically; you'd likely be turned into the niece looking for money. The corroboration, would be turned into aggrieved family members revenge seekers on some other domestic issue blown up to make him look bad. Even more so if he is a former relative or your corroboration divorced and is no longer part of your "family". I know a girl, who's uncle abused. Parents and the girls, more than one victim in the family. Turned him into police, all involved in law enforcement cut a deal for his confession. Slap on wrist basically. She just turned 21 and decided to sue in civil courts. Her case was tossed out because she waited to long and her corroboration was countered by his; other family members saying he was forced to confess, etcetera. Its been part of a family feud for years, etcetera. Even tougher to Prosecute if nothing was prosecuted. Even with a law enforcement investigation, until a trial before a judge, the past was just allegations. Witnesses need to be called, the accused has a right to cross examen his accusers and have witnesses in their favor.
Even with a confession with no evidence, this would be tough to prosecute. Just being honest. Your not the one who prosecutes, its the prosecutor based on fact against allegations. Here as well even with a confession, during trial even that means very little. He could say he confessed hoping to get a sweat heart plea deal and this nightmare goes away. You'll not only be victimized over again, you'll be turned into your own abuser.
Sure you can try and have him prosecuted. But you'll do more self damage thinking its you doing the prosecuting. Not what you wanted to hear I know.
Flip side. The other problem, sure you were a victim and yes he abused you. But your no longer a victim and he is not abusing you. Loads of Women had some uncle or family, older males, make the a victim. Have a cousin, who's step father played around with her. She is a cop today and a normal well adjusted adult. Her sister suffered the same being a victim and abused, she is a mess and hates all Men. So stop being a victim and focusing on your abuser, he's not abusing you anymore. Your the one doing the abusing to yourself rehashing something that you yourself said was not rape. So just how abusive was this really? So how hard was it really to deal with? Its all the people filling your head that this was awe full and wrong its ruining your life..................... Live with it life is too short to dwell on something you could not control! Id bet if people stopped making this like you had a huge accident, spent months in recovery, etcetera. You'd be like most Women that discover in a sick way, the older guy took advantage of their natural female turn on mechanism, they not only wanted it.......It was not so bad and when adult and a man turns her on its enjoyable!
I've seriously discussed this with girls and Women, that when this occurs and nobody finds out. The ones not molested and lost their virginity under "normal" circumstances, describe that event the same as the molested Women.................. When caught all the adults make those emotions if your first time was normal, blow up to be way wrong. So live with it and even embrace it. It's not like you got raped, you even said it yourself. Heck bet you enjoyed it.............................
The reality I may seem harsh and Jerk, sick, twisted, but thats how these things are viewed. Just being honest, its better from me over your friends and family. Some will take the she needs to get over it, was not that big of a deal........................ Real life. Not being conceited, but truth I've had Women pass me note's from bartender's more than once. Applebee's these 30/40 ish year old group of Women having drinks sent me a note saying: "your Hot" I've had Women give me "the look" of interest. Real or imagined sometimes can get a creepy feeling some young girl is interested. When its an innocent girl crush, its supposed to creepy. Like that feeling Women get: "oh god he likes me!" except adults are supposed to be turned off by young girls who give those signals. His sick mind not yours, took advantage of you and that, yes. Get mental health help! Its much healthier!