Mock Trial

Let's have some fun. Since Carl is a cop, we'll let him charge someone here with a crime. Someone of his own choice and charged with a crime of choice.

Now, who wants to be the DA & state's witnesses?

As for the defendant's witnesses, let the charged pick those.

We need a judge. I recommend Aaron, Mr Knowitall, or senior judge.

The defendant picks his attorney.

The prosecution confers with state's witnesses by pm as does the defendant, his witnesses and his attorney.

If you are up for this, sign up below. Let's hang the bad guy !! Is is he bad??

The truth will come out at trial.

Who's in?

How neat! Count me in..

I wanna play! I wanna play!!!

Carl is chargin' me with DUI! Now I need a co-defendant!

Oh, count me in!

Quote:

---

Quoting blueeagle

---

Now I need a co-defendant!

---

Here's the empty six-pack and your horse without a saddle. Does that count? :eek:

Quote:

---

Quoting M'sta Mikey

---

Oh, count me in!

---

Will you be my defense lawyer?

Quote:

---

Quoting blueeagle

---

Will you be my defense lawyer?

---

In a heart-beat. Count me in pal! Just check your veins to ensure a good IV hook-up the first time around. My 'firm' doesn't do appeals.

Trail is on

Quote:

---

Judges enter the courtroom

Court Officer Zendex: "All rise. Court is now in session. The Honorables cyjeff, aaron and KnowItAll presiding"

Court Officer: "GONG…DOWN BOY! "All rise" is just a figure of speech."
The judges are seated
Court Officer to the gallery: "You may be seated"

Court Officer: "Case #001-GOD HELP ME
The State of Texas v The State of Inebriation".

Judges: "Good Morning Counsel"
In unison: "Good Morning Your Honor"

"Good morning Your Honor. M'sta Mikey, attorney for the defendant, Mr. Blue Eagle"
"Good morning Your Highnass, BlueEagle here. Is that decaf or regular coffee? You know that caffeinated coffee can make you impotent don't you?"

---

(Jury is now entertaining the death penalty for the misdemeanor DWI charge)

Shhhhh, lets listen in.....

We need Carl to charge someone with something first, kids. I wonder who and what...........

Quote:

---

Quoting M'sta Mikey

---

Trail is on



(Jury is now entertaining the death penalty for the misdemeanor DWI charge)

Shhhhh, lets listen in.....

---

Misdermeanor hell! LOL

Quote:

---

Quoting zedex

---

We need Carl to charge someone with something first, kids. I wonder who and what...........

---

You're right. Can GONG be the prosecutor? Can't think of anybody more suited! :p

It should hang on something - Is oxygen flammable - so there can to be an appeal.

Maybe Blue will be charged with a public intox and whizzing on the cop car or gigirlie for going military on some drunk cowboy {Blue?} in a barfight. Perhaps GONG for exposing his "OhMy" at the strip bar....I do wonder....


Where is Carl, anyway???

Quote:

---

Quoting zedex

---

We need Carl to charge someone with something first, kids. I wonder who and what...........

---

OK, I digress; mea culpa. But I have my opening and closing statements already prepared.

Quote:

---

Quoting zedex

---

Maybe Blue will be charged with a public intox and whizzing on the cop car or gigirlie for going military on some drunk cowboy {Blue?} in a barfight. Perhaps GONG for exposing his "OhMy" at the strip bar....I do wonder....


Where is Carl, anyway???

---

I wanna be charged with DUI. :( I have it all planed!! :D

Gigirle can be my co-defendant?

Quote:

---

Quoting M'sta Mikey

---

OK, I digress; mea culpa. But I have my opening and closing statements already prepared.

---

Got my statements ready too! :D

What the hell was I thinking by asking where Carl is??? Everyone knows there is never a cop around when you need one !!

OK! Let's stop stalling. Here we go with BE's DWI trial.

Quote:

---

Your Honors. I move for dismissal on the grounds that opposing counsel does not like my client and therefore will present a prejudiced case against him. And if that doesn't work, then we plead insanity – the defendant is just crazy about that stuff; the booze and for saddle-less horses on the open road, the wind on his scalp, a sense of freedom that we, as Americans strive for. It's the freedom that is granted us as U.S. citizens, freedom that we live and strive for, freedom that instills a sense of compassion, togetherness, and of responsibility for our actions and respect for the laws of this land! The prosecution team is just ball-yard bullies looking to take the taxpayers and my client's lunch money. I take my ball and go home.

Oh, and if it pleases the court, I have a lunch appointment today that just can't be put off so I need to be outta here by 11:00am. The defense rests…

---

I ain't too sure how well that'll fly with the judge.

Here we go!! YEE HAW!

Quote:

---

*The dishonorable CyJeff enters the court room.*

"JEFF!! Whats up man! Want a cold beer?"

*Jeff gives BE a dirty look* Mr BlueEagle, I thought I told you I didn't want your presence to grace my court room again!?

"Well... I keep tellin' Carl that, but he wont listen!"

Jeff: "Mr BlueEagle, under Texas law a third DWI constitutes a felony offense! Sir, this your THIRD this WEEK! Have you no sense of restraint? Can't you endure one night without drinking?

BE: *laughs* "Oh, you were serious!" *Looks down*

Jeff: I will read the arrest affidavit: "On the night of Nov. 19th, while making his hourly donut run, Officer Carl allegedly spotted the defendant driving erratically along I-35. When Carl pulled the defendant over, he was greeted by BlueEagle's sarcastic sense of humor. Following procedure, Carl asked BlueEagle if he was aware of why he was being pulled over, BE responded, "You lookin' for the donut shop again? It's three blocks back. OINK!". *Glares at BE* Carl asked BE if he had any ID, to which he responded, "bout what?" *shakes head*
"Finally Carl ordered BE to exit the vehicle. BE complied, but in his attempted to exit, he collapsed in the middle of the highway. Carl informed BE of his drunken state, BE responded, "Thank God for that! I thought my steering was out!"

---

Quote:

---

Quoting blueeagle

---

I wanna be charged with DUI. :( I have it all planed!! :D

Gigirle can be my co-defendant?

---

Ah...It depends....how would I be involved?

If Carl doesn't come in by tonight, 8pm PST, then we'll choose someone else to charge someone on something.

I am interested in knowing what you have planned, Blue, but hold off until someone is charged.

If we had enough regular posters, we could have a jury trial. That would interesting. But, we don't so we'll have to settle for a bench trial.

If Mr Knowitall, Aaron or SeniorJudge don't want to be judge, we'll have to elect one. Any nominations???

Quote:

---

Quoting zedex

---

If Carl doesn't come in by tonight, 8pm PST, then we'll choose someone else to charge someone on something.

I am interested in knowing what you have planned, Blue, but hold off until someone is charged.

---

I know. I just couldn't help myself! :D

What do you think of my post? :D

Quote:

---

If Mr Knowitall, Aaron or SeniorJudge don't want to be judge, we'll have to elect one. Any nominations???

---

Jeff? Kist maybe?

Quote:

---

Quoting blueeagle

---

Jeff? Kist maybe?

---

I like those choices.

Quote:

---

Quoting M'sta Mikey

---

I like those choices.

---

We need a role for gigirle (your niece HAHA) to play. An expert witness? Your law firm partner?

Be careful about wishing to the defendant. The actual charge could be " 1st degree raging stupidity" or "felony monkey molestation" or "terroristic threats to a mole". This could be interesting. The ladies could be charged with "public teasing without intent" or "public purtiness". Maybe we'll have a multi-arrest and charges, who knows.

Dangit, Carl, where are you??? Everyone, slam Carl with pm's to get his attention to this thread when he comes in.

Quote:

---

Quoting zedex

---

Be careful about wishing to the defendant.

---

I want it to be DUI, reckless conduct, and disturbing the peace!

Quote:

---

The ladies could be charged with "public teasing without intent" or "public purtiness". Maybe we'll have a multi-arrest and charges, who knows.

---

Yee haw!! Why aren't those criminal charges as it it?

Quote:

---

Dangit, Carl, where are you??? Everyone, slam Carl with pm's to get his attention to this thread when he comes in.

---

Harass a cop? IDK... I don't want to "accidentally" fall down the stairs!

Damn.. when did they take beheading off the table as a rehabilitation technique?

Besides, DUI is too easy... we want something juicy...

"So there I was, strapped naked to the bed and covered in motor oil and all of a sudden her siberian husky/timberwolf/Jack Russell terrier mix jumps onto the bed and mistakes me for a poodle with mange........"

I will let more creative minds than my own continue....

As for accidentally falling down the stairs...

My father was a police officer on the South Side of Chicago during the early to mid 60's.

He tells one story of a guy that decided to ram a police car and then emptied a revolver into one police car.

Luckily, the guy was a terrible shot.

My father says that it was EXTREMELY difficult to get the man into the patrol car.... it seems that every time he tried to enter, he would slip and collide with the roof of the patrol car.

Officer after officer tried to get that man into the patrol car with similar results. Of course, my father is careful to say that he WASN'T one of the men that tried to aid the poor clumsy man.

Amazing.....

WooooHOOO !!!, Carl made it finally. Carl--- who do you want to charge and with what???

Quote:

---

Quoting zedex

---

WooooHOOO !!!, Carl made it finally. Carl--- who do you want to charge and with what???

---

Did the donut shop close already? :D

No, but the "Hot Donuts Now" sign just went off.

Quote:

---

Quoting cyjeff

---

No, but the "Hot Donuts Now" sign just went off.

---

You have the mentality of a policeman (no offense). Why don't you play the role?

Quote:

---

Quoting blueeagle

---

You have the mentality of a policeman (no offense). Why don't you play the role?

---

I have some cuffs around here somewhere.....

OK, since everyone is ready to start this thing and Carl came and went again without checking his pm's or seeing this thread, let's put this in gear.

We need a cop. Volunteers? Nominations?

Judge? Volunteers? Nominations?

DA?? Volunteers? Nominations??

Two votes for a nomination required, or a single volunteer to get the job.

Once a job is assigned, No contact between the accussed, DA or judge permitted. No pm's. Nothing.Until the trial is over. I will oversee the proceedings, so contact with both parties is needed, however, no info will be passed either way.

Once a job is given, look for a pm from me before going any further.

Lets do this, kids.

Judge? Kist

Cop? Jeff

DA? You??

Quote:

---

Quoting blueeagle

---

Judge? Kist

Cop? Jeff

DA? You??

---

I'm all for your suggestion except being DA. I just want to watch this work and maybe kick in a smart a$$ remark on occassion.

Jeff??? Kist?? Are you guys in??

At this point, who are the players and what position do they hold?

Quote:

---

Quoting M'sta Mikey

---

At this point, who are the players and what position do they hold?

---

I'm the defendant; you're the defense lawyer.