My question involves criminal law for the state of: Washington, Colorado or Georgia. Is it in the state where it was committed or state you reside?
Unsure.... the crime was committed in Washington State, however the child resided in Georgia at the time. Currently the person that committed the crime admitted it while living in Colorado with the child (now young adult).
My daughter recently told me that her father admitted that it was him that molested her when she was young approx. 8 years of age.
This began when she was 11, one day she came to me and told me about a "dream" 'mom, I had a weird dream and I'm not sure if it's true or not' long story short we discussed it and then I spoke with her father about it(we used to be on really good terms) (not the case today). She explains to me that it happened to her when we lived in Georgia - this would have been 3 years prior age 8. She describes the dream...
at the time she wasn't sure who it was in her dream, she couldn't see his face, so we worked with the details as much as possible. I hadn't been at the house her father was living in at the time, so it was difficult. (her details never matched any place I had ever been in) Then when she had a chance she discussed it with her father, and the outcome was him telling her that it must have been a dream, and that if it wasn't it was a guy that I had dated (he looked similar to him) that must have done it if it were real. She believes it was a dream...
Time passes, and she brought it up a few times here and there when something jogged her memory... I would spend as much time with her discussing it as she needed. We went over details again when she was approx 16 since the dream never really went away... but she still couldn't see a face in her dream. I told her that we should get her some counseling, we did but she never felt comfortable discussing it, and didn't want to go.
She is now 19 and about 6 months ago she went to live with her father to attend college... when she arrived she got into the car with him, and first thing he says.... 'I have something to tell you that has caused so many problems in our relationship, it's all my fault why we don't always get along, because I feel guilty about what happened to you when you were 8, remember that dream you told us about... well that was me who did that to you' 'I'm sorry and I wanted to tell you that I want to work on our relationship, oh and don't tell your mother, or my wife because that will just cause problems'
I of course told her to come back home immediately, but she didn't want to (she's now 19) she wanted to work on her relationship with her father... well needless to say she is coming home in a couple of weeks.
I want to pursue this, he does not have the right to just dump his nasty guilt into her lap and expect her to say... oh okay dad... thanks for telling me ...
First thing I will get her in counseling, and do what ever I can to help her though this... she acts as though it is not that big of a deal, it over and done.
Now that she is back home and safe with me... I need to know what legal ground I may have, civil or otherwise, if any at all. She may be 19 but she is still my baby girl.
He currently has a 5 year old child at home.. and yes I am concerned.... ( I never thought it a million years it could have been him... da*&^*)
Please help me what I should do, now that I have facts to work with, now that he admitted... I need to do something if not for her... her sibling... as her parent I can not sit with the knowledge and do nothing....
Child Molestation Statute
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11-13-2008, 08:16 AMopulenzChild Molestation Statute
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11-13-2008, 03:51 PMaardvarcRe: Child Molestation StatuteJurisdiction will be held by in the state where any alleged offense was committed. Some states are better than others in getting a law enforcement agency in closer proximity to the victim to take the report, and maybe assist in some aspects of investigation, but generally, it's the state where it occurred that will have to bring any criminal charges, conduct any judicial proceedings, etc.Quote:
Quoting opulenz
Your concern and urge to help is understandable, however, now that your child is legally an adult, all decisions, from deciding to seek counseling (or not), to deciding to file a police report (or not), to deciding whether or not to cooperate with investigation or prosecution (or not), to deciding whether to continue a relationship with her father (or not)...those are all completely in her hands and up to her.Quote:
I of course told her to come back home immediately, but she didn't want to (she's now 19) she wanted to work on her relationship with her father... well needless to say she is coming home in a couple of weeks. I want to pursue this, he does not have the right to just dump his nasty guilt into her lap and expect her to say... oh okay dad... thanks for telling me ...
First thing I will get her in counseling, and do what ever I can to help her though this... she acts as though it is not that big of a deal, it over and done.
Now that she is back home and safe with me... I need to know what legal ground I may have, civil or otherwise, if any at all. She may be 19 but she is still my baby girl.
One must remember that disclosure such as your daughter has experienced opens several options for reaction - and some of those options will be mutually exclusive. By that I mean that if what SHE wants is to try to understand what happened and possibly try to build a relationship with him, that will entail certain things (counseling obviously a plus here to help her identify and address her various feelings - everything from anger, to rage, to betrayal, to forgiveness, and everything in between). Whereas the "punative" approach - such as wanting to see him tortured in prision for the rest of his natural life (another perfectly normal reaction) would obviously entail pursuing a much different course of action on her part (starting with a police report, and likely including spending time on the stand in a courtroom, etc.). Options for BOTH of those things to happen are about nil - so SHE will have to come to some understanding of what SHE wants going forward.
It is a key tennant of victimology and victim rights advocacy that the only person who can say what's right for a victim is the victim themselves, even where experts, friends, family, and loved ones have their own definitive ideas about what "should" happen or "would be best".
You should also be aware that you, too, are a secondary victim here - and should, outside of any issues with your daughter, seek some counseling of your own to help separate YOUR experience from hers (in other words, it will be natural for you to push the punative approach, whereas your daughter may wish to approach it from a totally different angle). It's not easy for any parent to hear that their child wants to try to mend such atrocities with an abuser, but it will be important for whatever approach your daughter takes that it be HER personal and unique approach, and not simply her carrying out the will of another party who has emotional ties to the situation. Everyone concerned needs to be getting assistance from a neutral third party who will only look at the interests of the individual when providing therapeutic assistance or guidance.
You might very carefully consider discussing this with your daughter, as her report of his confession will be the crux of any investigation concerning the newest child, and this could put your daughter in a position to suddenly be thrust into interrogation and/or investigation that she doesn't want or isn't emotionally prepared for (re-victimizing her). If you feel there is some genuine danger to the child in question, obviously you will have to take whatever course of action you deem to be protective enough (whether that take the form of a formal report to Child Protective Services, or something more informal such as informing the mother of the child in question, or both) - but I would strongly recommend that you (and ONLY you) discuss this issue with a qualified therapist BEFORE taking action (therapists are also mandated reporters, and can help you understand the reporting process, and outline potential "fallout" issues that you, your daughter, etc. might face).Quote:
He currently has a 5 year old child at home.. and yes I am concerned.... ( I never thought it a million years it could have been him... da*&^*)