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Mom Using Her Surname, Not Dad's

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  • 10-18-2008, 08:56 PM
    toxvet
    Mom Using Her Surname, Not Dad's
    My question involves name change laws in the State of: California

    Hello,

    I have a 5 year old daughter with a woman, we all live together in my house. We were never married. Paternity is established, I am on the birth certificate as the father. I am allowing the woman to live at my house only for the good of the child; we do not get along well.

    Mom recently signed up for the PTA, and when the welcome package came from them, it had on the address label: "to the mother of Childfirstname Fathersurname Mothersurname." (There is a space on the sign-up form for the parent to enter the child's name, and I presume this is what child's mother put on the form.)

    Needless to say, I was dumbfounded. THe child's last name (mine) had now been relegated to a middle name, and the mother's surname was listed as the child's surname. Now, I know this is only a PTA application, but can the mother continue to do such things, presuming this is what she did? What steps should I take? Thank you.
  • 10-18-2008, 09:27 PM
    gigirle
    Re: Mom Using Her Surname Not Dad's
    Quote:

    Now, I know this is only a PTA application, but can the mother continue to do such things, presuming this is what she did?
    Have you asked her about it? From a mothers point of view, it was likely an innocent gesture in hopes to not confuse who the child is and whos her mother since they have different last names. It may also have been asked by the PTA to put both last names down. They do that at the elementary school here, and it's merely to prevent confusion. I'd have to say I agree with it. Think about it, 50% of the kids have different last names than their parents. Do you have any idea how many kids and parents have to be matched up? This is why your the middle name and not vice versa. Here its childs name first than mother (IF different, and in your case it is).
    Quote:

    What steps should I take?
    Besides asking her, you can find out when the next PTA meeting is and attend.
  • 10-18-2008, 11:55 PM
    toxvet
    Re: Mom Using Her Surname Not Dad's
    Thanks for the reply. Mom has long-standing tendency to marginalize Dad's role (mine), and this is consistent with the pattern. I have now joined the PTA myself and sent them an e-mail informing of the child's correct name. (Mom was supposed to put me on the PTA form along with her name, but did not include me, then the letter came addressed to the newly "renamed" child.)
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