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Suit for custody
I admitted to an affair after suffering enough in a mentally torturous marriage. We both filed for divorce, and under intimidation I gave in to giving him full custody of our 2-year-old son. We reside in Texas, and during the 60-day reconciliation period, we decided to try to work it out, and cancelled the divorce. We took a marriage class through the church and renewed our vows. Now, just a month after renewing our vows, he is threatening divorce again. Since cancelling our divorce, I have been committed to being a perfect wife and mother. Can he bring up old baggage to use against me for custody? Will the past affair hurt me even though I've changed and been faithful and true? I hold a very good job, I don't party, I am very responsible. I provide a very loving environment for my son.
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Custody Dispute
In a typical state, once a spouse forgives the other spouse for having an affair, the affair is no longer grounds for a finding of fault. But your choices relating to custody may come back up in a second divorce proceeding - it's not clear how long ago that happened, but I would expect your husband to at least try to bring up your offer to him of full custody in subsequent custody proceedings. You should discuss your situation with a local divorce lawyer, and formulate a plan in case your husband again files for divorce.
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We filed this past July and ended in Mid-September. My choice to give up custody was for several reasons: 1) He convinced me that I did not stand a chance in court, and if I challenged him, he would "ruin" me. 2) He threatened that if I won as the custodial parent, he would foreclose on our home, thus ruining both of our credit and chances to purchase real estate in the future. I was under extreme intimidation, afraid, and in a panic state at the mere thought of losing against him. I did talk to an attorney friend who said that I could argue that I signed under intimidation and duress. At one point, he even offered me $20,000 to sign over my parental rights to him. (which, of course, he'll deny)
By the way, we never went to court. He brought the papers to me and made me sign.
Do you know a "pit bull" attorney in san antonio??
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You may wish to try searching the AAML Directory.
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In Texas an affair is not taken into consideration when discussing custody, unless the affair happened in front of the child or the child was abused or neglected as a result of the affair.
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What if the child was asleep in the other room? 1 yr old at the time, cannot speak. The other man did meet my son, but in an outside setting...
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Then it would not have done any harm to the child. Your husband is going to have 2 problem if he tries to bring this up in court or in moderation.
1. He has already forgiven you, legally speaking.
2. The burden of proof is on him as to whether or not your child has suffered AND will continue suffering because you made ONE mistake concerning your marraige that had nothing to do with you ability to be a good parent.
There is always a small chance you may be in front of a judge who's wife cheated on him that got really screwed in his divorce that may not be seeing things unbiasedly, but that is very doubtful. If it goes to moderation, which 99% of judges order before they will hear a case, the suggestion will be joint managing conservatorship as long as both parents are equally able to raise the child. One parent will still have residential custody and be eligable for child support. In the majority of Texas cases it is the mother, but fathers are gaining ground.