Previously Chaste Character

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Mississippi

My son's girlfriend's parents have been threatening him with statutory rape charges for over a year. They first had sex when she was a few month's shy of 16, and he was 18.

Last spring, we finally put 1000 miles between them. The relationship began to peter out. There were fewer and fewer cell phone conversations & text messages. I was thrilled.

The deputy sheriff called him a month or so later, threatening him with prosecution for statutory rape -- again. I couldn't believe it. The message was "Don't bother trying to do all the right things. Don't bother being a hardworking, disciplined, good kid -- won't work. We'll get you anyway."

He was working 60-70 hours a week, working out & studying in preparation for enlisting in the Marines. I didn't want him to join the Marines but it was a way to pay for college. I spent hours online, sometimes until 3:00 am, scouring the universe to find a scholarship for him. A little over a month ago, one of my dozens of applications hit, and he was offered a full academic scholarship to a small private college in Jackson -- about 150 miles from this girl. I didn't want to bring him back. He was doing so well. But this was $36,000 for college, and he wasn't going to have to get shot at in the middle east to get it. I had to do it.

As bad luck would have it, and as pretty much anybody including me could have predicted, they have reunited. He is now 19, and she is now 16. The threats of prosecution for statutory rape have escalated, and as of last week, her parents have informed her that they've asked the DA to look into it.

This girl was pregnant, and had an abortion, long before she ever met my son. She was barely 15 at the time. She's got a pre-cervical cancerous condition that you get from early, frequent, determined promiscuity -- promiscuity that started long before she laid eyes on my son.

The boy who got her pregnant is now dating her sister, and is welcome in their home. My son, a nice kid who is madly in love with their daughter, who has begged them to give him another chance, has promised them the moon and encouraged the girl to respect her parents and stop causing so much trouble (she's constantly in some kind of conspicuous trouble totally unrelated to my son), is the one they've decided to hound, threaten, and terrorize with prosecution for statutory rape of their not exactly virtuous daughter.

I can't afford a lawyer. Every penny I make goes to make up the difference between what his scholarship pays at college, and what's left to be paid. If I have to I guess I can try to borrow against my house, but there's not a lot of equity in it. My question is this: between now and the time he's actually charged, what should we do? What should we not do? Should he confess he did have sex with her if a someone questions him, or should he just not say either way?

The girl swears she'll never testify against him -- does that matter?

Her parents do absolutely nothing to control her. It would be so easy for them to keep her from seeing my son. All they have to do is take away her car, her phone, the ungodly amount of money and freedom she has, and watch her. You know, like raise her. Know where she is at all times. The mother doesn't work. She could take her to and from school and keep an eye on her -- you know, as in raise her. That's too much trouble I guess. Might miss a tennis match or Bloody Marys with the girls at the club -- There are priorities after all, and raising a wayward daughter is damned inconvenient. Far easier to threaten someone who's much more the daughter's victim than the other way around, age difference be damned.

They forbid her to see him, she does it anyway, and instead of doing what normal parents would do and ground her, thereby preventing it without destroying someone else's life, all they can think of is to bring criminal charges against my son. He's supposed to raise her for them I guess. And he has almost as hard a time staying away from her as she does staying away from him, although he has really, really tried.

I used to think that, in this country, if you hadn't done anything wrong that the justice system was on your side. I guess the joke's on me -- and my fine, good, and decent son. I guess the joke's on us. God bless America.

Quote:

---

They forbid her to see him, she does it anyway, and instead of doing what normal parents would do and ground her, thereby preventing it without destroying someone else's life, all they can think of is to bring criminal charges against my son.

---

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Back up the pickup, darlin', and stop acting like it's all their fault.

Your darling son has responsibility here, too. He is NOT blameless. He's a grown man and presumably speaks English.

They said NO. That means NO. They may not see each other. He is well aware of this, yet continues to see her, knowing full well that her parents are looking to have him brought up on charges.

Your son needs to man up and step away from the jailbait. He needs to abide by her parents wishes just as much as she does, or he may find himself with a restraining order slapped on him and facing charges if he violates it.

In short: He needs to cut ties and not see her until she is an 18 year old adult.

very poignant post LRM.

Quote:

---

He's supposed to raise her for them I guess

---

Uh, no, he isn't. Maybe you and your son should both realize this is a 16 yo kid you are talking about. Maybe you need to counsel your son as to acting like an adult and leaving kids alone.

You are very good about placing the blame on the girl and her parents. If you want to find the more appropriate place for the blame, have your son stand next to you while facing a mirror. You and your son are in control of yourselves. If your son keeps himself in check, apparently there was nothing to worry about. Now that he involves himself with the girl, he is the one exposing himself to any problems. You are blindly supporting him.

Stop it.

I will just add that you won't be able to protect him in the Marines either.

Does his recruiter know about his charges?

You would be surprised how the Marines feel about sexual charges.

Quote:

---

Quoting LawResearcherMissy

---

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Back up the pickup, darlin', and stop acting like it's all their fault.

---

At this point I'm afraid it is. The statue of limitations is on their side -- but that doesn't change anything.

Quote:

---

Your darling son has responsibility here, too. He is NOT blameless. He's a grown man and presumably speaks English.

---

He's a very young grown mad who is madly in love. Yes -- the law doesn't differentiate between a 50 year old grown man with a thing for 16 year old girls and a 19 year old 'man' with a 16 year old girlfriend. That doesn't mean they aren't two very different things.

Quote:

---

Your son needs to man up and step away from the jailbait.

---

He has done that. Nothing changed.

Yes, he's legally an adult and yes, it's his life these fools could ruin and yes, he has the power to stay away from her, and he's done it, and he continues to. He moved 1000 miles away. They had the sheriff call him and threaten him from that distance. She has a car, all the money she can spend and way too much freedom. Her parents make absolutely no attempt to control her -- they just spend a lot of time threatening him. Yeah, I know -- they can. That doesn't make it right.

Quote:

---

Quoting jk

---

Maybe you and your son should both realize this is a 16 yo kid you are talking about. Maybe you need to counsel your son as to acting like an adult and leaving kids alone.

---

Gee. What great advice. Like he doesn't already know that one by heart.

This really isn't about what a criminal he is. It's not about him "leaving kids alone." I hope you don't have a son. If you do, and he manages to fall for someone 3 years younger than him, I hope you don't treat him like a criminal. (My husband is 4 years older than me. He'll be thrilled to know you think he's a pedophile.)

I don't know what I said that made you feel your presumption that I haven't counseled him thoroughly, wisely, and well is justified -- but you're out of line.

Quote:

---

If your son keeps himself in check, apparently there was nothing to worry about.

---

Did you read my post? Because that wasn't even a little bit apparent. So I was wondering.

Quote:

---

You are blindly supporting him. Stop it.

---

Blindly supporting him? Boy. You must be clairvoyant -- or you must just think so.

Quote:

---

Quoting cyjeff

---

I will just add that you won't be able to protect him in the Marines either.

Does his recruiter know about his charges?

You would be surprised how the Marines feel about sexual charges.

---

You know, I'm aware this is a free service, and I really am not expecting Clarence Darrow here, but I did have this crazy idea you folks could read a little better than you do.

He hasn't been charged. He has been threatened -- over and over and over for over a year. No charges.

So no, his recruiter doesn't know about the charges, although I discussed the situation with him. And although my husband isn't a Marine, he is a career Army officer, so YOU may be surprised how thoroughly familiar I am with how the Marines feel about sexual charges and a lot of other charges. They feel so bad about it they're waivering felons with convictions for far worse things that this so they can meet quotas which have become increasingly difficult to meet.

Oh great. You're one of those parents.

Quote:

---

He's a very young grown mad who is madly in love.

---

So? Do you really think that "madly in love" is going to wash with the judge when her parents drag him to court and slap him with a restraining order.

From one mother to another: Stop being stupid.

If you care about your son, take him out back and BEAT the sense into him if need be. The girl is UNDERAGE. When she is 18, she may date whomever she pleases. Until then?

Her parents said NO. That means NO. That is the universal signifier of non-consent.

Words. They mean things. Teach him what they mean, and how to take responsibility, or he's going to suffer consequences he doesn't like. "Madly in love" with a minor child or not, he needs to cut ALL contact. All of it. Now. He's old enough to understand how to do this.

Quote:

---

If you do, and he manages to fall for someone 3 years younger than him, I hope you don't treat him like a criminal. (My husband is 4 years older than me. He'll be thrilled to know you think he's a pedophile.)

---

You're being willfully obtuse. Knock it off.

As a simple matter of law, your son is illegally involved with a minor child.

What you do with your sex life after you reach the age of 18 is nobody's business but your own, but until such time as you reach the age of 18, it's the business of your parents and of the law.

The law says that the parents dictate the rule. They've made their rules abundantly clear. As noted before, your son needs to abide by them, or he's going to be in some very hot water.

Mississippi has an interesting wording to the law which the OP offered as bait. "previously chaste character."

I don't believe he could be charged with SR. Which is not to say they can't come up with another charge. But sex is fairly difficult to prove without evidence or victim testimony - however I wouldn't want to put my kids fate in the hands of a 16 year old girl - not mature enough. Although she's probably more mature then the boy.

http://www.ageofconsent.com/mississippi.htm