It isn't entirely clear that, when the father knows he's not the child's biological parent, his being named to the birth certificate would prevent the actual father from seeking to establish his paternity. See Williams-Raymond v. Jones, 954 So. 2d 721 (2007). Discuss your plan with a Florida lawyer.
Never Want to Tell the Father
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08-03-2008, 06:33 PMaaronRe: Never Want to Tell the Father
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08-03-2008, 06:36 PMqueenie2Re: Never Want to Tell the Father
If you are married when the child is born, then your husband is the legal father and his name goes on the birth certificate unless he challenges the paternity.
If the biological father finds out or suspects the truth, he can petition for a paternity test. Once paternity is established, he can petition to be named on the birth certificate, and get visitation/custody. If he wins, then the husband loses his rights as the father. There may or may not be a time limit as to how long after birth he has to file. There is also the possibility that his petition would be denied if the family has been intact for a number of years. You can check the Florida courts website for the specific statutes and case law.
http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/
http://www.flcourts.org/#
Think really hard about this. Is your child going to call your husband Dad, or by his first name? Would you be honest with your child from the moment he first tries to call your husband Daddy? What happens if your child is 2 years old, already attached to you and your husband, then the bio father enters the picture. Your 2 year old will have to develop a relationship with him, without your presence. Think about how scary that could be if it comes to that.
It's also possible that the biological father would want nothing to do with the child. After all, he's only 19. If that's the case, he may be able to voluntarily terminate his rights.
I can't help but think, "What a tangled web we weave..." -
08-03-2008, 06:46 PMmonique8Re: Never Want to Tell the Father
Does anyone think it's worse for the bio father to tell him now as opposed to later? I mean, I'm sure I am being too careful by saying 10 years, but does anyone think it's better that this kid has a normal life and gets his chance to have a young adulthood before dealing with this problem? I think it's frankly cruel-er to tell him now. If I was his parent, I would feel that way too.
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08-03-2008, 07:09 PMXenaRe: Never Want to Tell the FatherThe best thing for you and your child will be for you to notify the bio father of your pregnancy. Then, when the baby is born, file in court to establish paternity. This can be done even if you are married when the baby is born.Quote:
Quoting monique8
To try to hide it is the worst thing you can do for your child, since FL law does allow a putitive father to petition for paternity even if the mother is married. This is not based on what's legal, this is based on what is best for your child, every child has the right to know both of thier parents, for alot of reasons.
Please think hard, what if, God forbid, your child is born with serious health problems, or developes them later. Suppose your child had a genetic disorder that doesn't show up for years. How in the world would you be able to save your child's life if you don't tell the real father, and then years later try to find him? These types of situations are real, and they do happen.
As much as I hate to say this, because I'm extremely anti-abortion (but I do recognize that the law allows it)- if you truly hate the father that much, maybe abortion is the best option for you. Because adoption isn't an option because you would have to notify the father before placing the child for adoption.
At this point, the best thing to do is to get a consult with an attorney to be fully aware of your options and the possible consequences now and in the future. -
08-03-2008, 07:12 PMcyjeffRe: Never Want to Tell the FatherIn what way was I cruel?Quote:
Quoting monique8
You asked if you had to tell the father... because if you did you would just abort.
Or did I read that wrong?
The father has a right to be a part of his child's life. -
08-03-2008, 07:14 PMcyjeffRe: Never Want to Tell the FatherHe isn't a kid. He is a legal adult and, now, a father.Quote:
Quoting monique8
Were you just planning on presenting him with a 10 year old down the road and saying, "Oh, by the way, this one's yours."?
He has a right to be a father. Let him.
He also now has the legal responsibility to support his child. -
08-03-2008, 07:34 PMcyjeffRe: Never Want to Tell the Father
For the record, marrying her current beau is just one scenario.
When I recommended against falsifying state documents, it was putting the name of the man she was LIVING with on the birth certificate.
The man she is living with is a legal stranger to the child. -
08-03-2008, 07:46 PMFlyinHawk®Re: Never Want to Tell the Father
Think about how the bio father would feel down the raod knowing he missed out on important years of his child growing up and how much missed out on because you decided to make a decision for him.
Let him decide if he wants to step up and be the Dad now not years later when you feel he's mentally capable of doing so. -
08-03-2008, 08:00 PMmickey68Re: Never Want to Tell the Father
Many 19 year olds can and have turned out to be great parents, let him choose. If he says he does not want to be a father then why not let him sign off to your soon to be husband.
Is all this an issue because you do not want others to know who the father is, because you had a relationship with a much younger man, are you afraid of what others may think?
There are so many things that can happen and possibly go wrong, the only person I see being very hurt by all of this is your child.