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Is it possible to prevent a divorce?

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  • 12-04-2005, 02:11 AM
    Luke
    Is it possible to prevent a divorce?
    My wife surprised me with a divorce summons, and we NEVER discussed ending the relationship, and I had NO idea of her intent. Now she won't talk to me AT ALL (She has a restraining order based on her FEELING that I MIGHT get upset her and be violent...despite the fact that I have NEVER been violent in any way before) Certainaly she can end the relationship if she want to, but is it a divorce if her only reason is she's not as happy as she thinks she COULD be ?

    I thought divorce was a specific remedy brought on by infidelity or irreconsilable differences or some specific violation in the marraige contract. If clearly I'm not insane, and we have never attempted any reconciliation...and she refuses to go to counseling NOW ..can she actually "divorce" me and gain the benifits of entitlement to the 505 of our assets it provides?

    If she just decides she wants to take our two kids, move on, and have me continue to pay for them all to live apart from me without any more reason than she THINKS sh e MIGHT be happier apart?
  • 12-04-2005, 02:34 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    No Fault Divorce in California
    Sorry. In California, you can't make her stay married to you. It's a no fault divorce state.

    Given the restraining order and probable custody issues, you should consult a family lawyer ASAP.
  • 12-08-2005, 12:35 PM
    Luke
    I thought a “no fault” divorce had to be agreed upon by both of us to be applicable. I’m not suggesting she be forced to stay married to me if she doesn’t want to but that doesn’t mean I want her to leave. I was asking about the methoda she had for leaving.

    Marriage is a contract, and two people can agree to end a contract anytime they want to. But when someone breaks a contract for selfish reasons, diregarding the effect it has on others, you can sue them for damages just as you can sue someone for divorce if they break your trust. If they don’t break the contract, and you still want out because you see a better opportunity or for any reason AFTER you commit it to writing, generally, you can’t just void it without the other person’s permission and still receive the same benefits of it continuing for you, while not holding up your own commitment to them..

    My question is not “can I force her to stay married to me….” But instead, “is she entitled to the benefits of divorce without any breach of contract by me, since she has refused any ATTEMPT any reconciliation and has no complaint against me ?”. I thought divorce had to meet specific conditions, (insanity, irreconcilable differences) ? If I’m not insane, and she won’t attempt any counseling whatsoever, and I won’t agree to a no fault if she insists our property is split 50-50, can she still GET half our property through divorce or can I get more than that because of her lack of commitment to me ?
  • 07-06-2006, 09:43 AM
    learnmorelaw
    Re: No Fault Divorce in California
    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    Sorry. In California, you can't make her stay married to you. It's a no fault divorce state.

    Given the restraining order and probable custody issues, you should consult a family lawyer ASAP.


    Any one knows CT or NH is the No Fault Divorce state or not?
  • 07-06-2006, 10:12 AM
    IAAL
    Re: Is it possible she Can't divorce me ?
    Quote:

    Quoting Luke
    I thought a “no fault” divorce had to be agreed upon by both of us to be applicable. I’m not suggesting she be forced to stay married to me if she doesn’t want to but that doesn’t mean I want her to leave. I was asking about the methoda she had for leaving.

    Marriage is a contract, and two people can agree to end a contract anytime they want to. But when someone breaks a contract for selfish reasons, diregarding the effect it has on others, you can sue them for damages just as you can sue someone for divorce if they break your trust. If they don’t break the contract, and you still want out because you see a better opportunity or for any reason AFTER you commit it to writing, generally, you can’t just void it without the other person’s permission and still receive the same benefits of it continuing for you, while not holding up your own commitment to them..

    My question is not “can I force her to stay married to me….” But instead, “is she entitled to the benefits of divorce without any breach of contract by me, since she has refused any ATTEMPT any reconciliation and has no complaint against me ?”. I thought divorce had to meet specific conditions, (insanity, irreconcilable differences) ? If I’m not insane, and she won’t attempt any counseling whatsoever, and I won’t agree to a no fault if she insists our property is split 50-50, can she still GET half our property through divorce or can I get more than that because of her lack of commitment to me ?

    My response:

    I had to attempt to make sense of your post, above, because some of the words are garbled.

    However, you never stated how long you've been married, and how long you and she have been in California, which would have an influence on both of your Community Property rights. Also, is there any separate property; e.g., cars, homes, bank accounts, that were acquired PRIOR to marriage?

    In California, "No Fault" grounds means "Irreconcilable Differences" - - one of the few choices on the Petition. You don't need a reason beyond that. Basically, it means that one of the parties can no longer live with the other, and that the marriage should be terminated. There is no "Breach of Contract" grounds.

    Also, it's VERY important to tell me WHO served you with the Petition. Don't name any names, though.

    So, answer my questions, and we can discuss the Community Property division aspects.

    IAAL
  • 07-06-2006, 12:43 PM
    Dad2
    Re: Is it possible to prevent a divorce?
    Luke,
    Get ready for the fight of your life.
    She will take the kids, take the money, and leave you holding the bag.
    Make this as hard for her as possible.
    Contest the divorce. Demand joint legal custody of your children, and get yourself a damn good lawyer. The marraige is temporary. The divorce proceedings are temporary, but the divorce decree is forever.
    This is a nice site for divorce questions, but now you will be a divorced Dad. I want to introduce to a very informative site, that you need to read immediately.
    I would post it here, but I'm not sure if it would get deleted or not.
    I have nothing to do with the site itself, I'm just a member, who, a,long with the other members, help new divorced dads.
    Please, e-mail me for info
    bill at lynchville dot com ( I had to spell it out so the automated spammer programs don't pick up on it )
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