What Would Happen If I Ran Away And Then Got Emancipated?

I'm 14 years old (15 at the end of April). This is hard to say but I've been abused by my mom since I was 6 years old. I recently contacted DSS and a worker came over here to investigate and I told her EVERYTHING but then that night my mom choked me REALLY BAD so I called my sister and told her and she called 911. And they just let it go. But then the next day the same DSS worker came over and talked to my mom and my nephews (because they live with us also) and some how my mom convinced the worker that she's not hurting us!!! It's a lie tho I don't know how she does it but she's good. And I have so many problems from this I have depression I cut myself and I think I might have anxiety. And I also homeschool but I don't get a good education at all!!! I don't learn a thing!! Well one night I convinced my mom that she should let me go stay with my other sister in Texas for the summer (and plan on after that trying to live there) and she said yes!!! Well now she backed out and said no and I said that I'd get emancipated if she said no. And in South Dakota u can be 14 to get emancipated. But I'm not living with my sister right now so I don't know if they would let me get emancipated :(
Does anyone know if they would let me still since my sister would take me in and my mom is abusive???So my sister said to get a bus ticket and come down after my birthday and she would pay for half of it. And I read on a website if u runaway and your parents call the police and they find you but they see that your living in a good home and you want to stay that they'll let you live there. Is that true?? Also if I take a bus down to Texas I then want to get emancipated because then I'll be living with her so they would let me get emancipated right?? I really NEED some awnsers and HELP PLEASE!!! I don't know what to do I've almost commited suicide 3 times. If I have to live here for 3 more years I know I'll end up killing myself and I REALLY DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN :(

Oh and I've called the child abuse hotline they just give u a number to your county and I've already tried that and they do NOTHING!!! I've had soooo many people call and report my mom until they finally came over but even then they did absolutally NOTHING. PLEASE HELP ME!! :(

Love,
Maddy

What you're talking about is a change of guardianship - not emancipation. Emancipation isn't about getting out of an abusive situation - it is intended for youth who for a variety of reasons (like sick, disabled, hospitalized, or deceased parents) are already independently supporting themselves (they have jobs and are paying for their own food, rent, transportation, healthcare, etc.) and need additional legal abilities to do things like sign leases, open checking accounts, and the like in order to be able to do so better. Going to live with your sister might be a great idea, particularly if your mom might be willing to go along with it - but that is a guardianship issue. Have your sister contact DSS in your county and discuss this possibility and the process. And DO keep reporting any physical abuse - even if nothing has been done yet. Sometimes "the system" can be stubborn and slow to act, but don't let that frustrate you into not reporting - 911 is your friend.

(But no court anywhere is going to emancipate a minor with runaway issues or attempts to change things with suicide threats - courts are only going to consider emancipation for those who really have things "together", not who are on the verge of falling apart.)

Well she hasn't hurt me since the choking"incedent" but that's because she knows what I'll do now. But I still NEED to get out of here. I can't live here and not get an education and the atmosphere just isn't good here. What would they say to my sister if she called them??? And could I still runaway and they let me live with her seeing that I'm in a better home?? And I don't know if my sister could go to court up here seeing as she lives in Texas and needs to save her money for college tuition. I just need to leave here it's kind of frighting :(

Love,
Maddy

If you run away you will get in trouble, as will your sister.

When your mother choked you did you go to the hospital, did they markings to back up that is what happened?

If your sister wants to try and gain guardianship of you, She will have to do it, not you. If her little sister is being abused and she is worried for her I am sure that college tuition can wait.

You cannot runaway you will make the situation ten times worse.

I don't think my sister would get in trouble since I was the one who ran away. I didn't go to the hospital and it was just red. Yes that's true but my sister also doesn't like getting in the middle of things or on our mom's bad side. I really don't see how running away would make it ten times worse at least I would be getting out of here.

Love,
Maddy

If you run away, you will get in trouble and be sent back home. If you run away to your sister and she allows you to stay with her she gets charged with Harboring a run away.

You may think running away wont make things worse but do you really want to get your sister in trouble?

But like I wrote earlyer I saw on a website that if u runaway and your parents call the police to find you and the police find you and see that your in a loving home and good home and you want to stay there then they'll just let you stay there and in my situation I think they most definatly would let me stay and live with my sister.

Love,
Maddy

Just because it was something you read on the internet doesn't make it the Law, the law stands before anything else.

The police don't know you from any other runaway, and will treat you as such and anyone that harbors you. At your age you do not just get to pick and choose where you want to live and get away with it. If that was true there would be a lot more runaways.

Well if I told the police my situation I think they would understand and let me stay and live with my sister.

Love,
Maddy

And the police should take the word of a 14 year old they do not know because?

Look, its not going to happen you cannot run away and choose to stay there no matter the situation that is going on it is not going to happen. If you run away and you stay with your sister she will get in trouble.

Are you really willing to risk ruining her life because you want to avoid the advice you have been given here? Because you think your situation is unique and the police will just listen to you and not do what their job is?

Isn't their job to protect the children in America to do what's best for them?? I'm just saying I don't see how they would force to go back and live with an abusive parent.

Love,
Maddy

If you feel Cps is not helping you, your next option is for your sister to TRY for guardianship. End of Story. You cannot run away.

Where is your Dad?

What's Cps?? And I've never ever meet my father.

Love,
Maddy

It's the same as DSS

Ok thank you. If anyone else has anymore advice please give it thanks =)

Love,
Maddy

My advice is to listen to the above poster, who knows what he is talking about much, much better than you might think.

A 14 year old cannot choose where she lives.

The police cannot legally just "let" you stay with your sister if that's not where you were supposed to be, because you say that you're being abused. How do they know you're not lying just to get your own way? It's not unheard of, trust me.

Your sister can apply for guardianship and if she gets it, you can stay with her and that's fine. Until then, though, the WORST thing you can do is run away.

Oh, and to answer your subject heading question?

First, a runaway will not be emancipated. Period. Second, in all states but one, and only VERY rarely then, the law does not permit a 14 year old to be emancipated in any case.

Maddy, the problem that is that the police exist to ENFORCE the law. It's not up to them to decide to ignore that the LAW says you can't runaway and your sister can't harbor a runaway. Getting out from under your mom CAN be done - but only a COURT can make that happen, not police. I understand the essence of what you're saying, but the answer is that there is a process to make that happen, and you and you sister will have to follow that process. It's just not gonna happen that the police are going to look the other way on a 14 year old runaway - even IF they agree that it is in your best interest in the big picture. They will tell you the same thing we're all telling you - YOU MUST FOLLOW THE PROCESS.

I ran across this on another website and saved it. Here is the story of one teen seeking emancipation and currently living on his own. He stresses how tough it is and whats needed to be done. He is quite honest on how tough it is and reasons for emancipation and not good reasons. I suggest all who seek emancipation read it.

One minors emancipation experience

I've talked to this kid. Listen to him.

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Quoting panther10758

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I ran across this on another website and saved it. Here is the story of one teen seeking emancipation and currently living on his own. He stresses how tough it is and whats needed to be done. He is quite honest on how tough it is and reasons for emancipation and not good reasons. I suggest all who seek emancipation read it.

One minors emancipation experience

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Thanks for sharing that link.

VERY interesting read.

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Quoting panther10758

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One minors emancipation experience

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Panther, that's a fantastic resource. It's been copied and stickied in the Emancipation forum. Thank you.

Dont thank me thank flyinghawk from laborlawtalk thats where I got it. I thought it so good I could I saved it and put it in my signature line

I read it and yes I see your point but I would be living with my sister free of charge. And I'm listening to you guys saying don't runaway but my sister as much as I do wants me to come and live with her and soon. And I need something that will happen fast i.e May fast and I'm serious about that. Nothings going to get better where I live right now.

Love,
Maddy

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Quoting MaddytheHippie

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I'm serious about that.

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So?

Everybody else is serious about what they have told you.

The law says No. Period. You're not going to be emancipated, and if you run away, you're going back home and your sister is going to jail. You have to follow the process, just like Aardvarc said.

My sister would go to jail??!! How am I supposed to live with her then??

Love,
Maddy

You don't without consent

I'm just VERY worried now. I don't know what's going to happen I don't want anything bad to happen to my sister but if I stay livning here something bad will happen to me. I'm just sooooo scared. =(

Love,
Maddy

If abuse is in your home contact CPS. Their National Hotline is

1-800-4-A-CHILD

They don't do anything!! I've tried that before.

Love,
Maddy

Let me take a swing at this.

You cannot move in with your sister unless your parents - both of them - give you legal, written permission to do so.

There is no other way for you to move. None. No matter how much you want it. No matter how much SHE wants it. No matter.

There is no loophole. Police officers take an oath to uphold the legal code to which they are entrusted. They will not just walk away from a home with a runaway in it.

If you are lucky, the police won't be at your sister's house before you get there. It's not like everyone and the dog doesn't know where you are going.

Deciding to run away anywhere else will bring you a life as a victim. Of robbery, rape, drugs and prostitution. Predators WAIT AT THE BUS STATION looking for young female runaways.

These predators will buy you a meal. Maybe some clothes. Get you to care for them. And then they will rent out your sexual services by the minute.

Call the DSS. Get help. It is your only option. Call them until they listen. Tell your guidance counsel or school. Tell your pastor or priest.

All can help. That is all you can do.

I know about the people at the bus station my sister told me and she aslo said don't talk to anyone on the bus except for the bus driver and I knew that already. I know that I've called them and they just give me the number to the county DSS and they already are on my moms side because she sweet talked them. I don't go to school, I don't have a guidence counseler and the priest at our church is like best friends with my mom. Also I had been e-mailing a teacher for like a month and she was the one calling all the time telling the DSS about what was going on. So I've been through that whole prosses and they just came to the house and talked to use. No one can do anything with this DSS place in South Dakota they're not that great to work with.

Love,
Maddy

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Quoting MaddytheHippie

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I know about the people at the bus station my sister told me and she aslo said don't talk to anyone on the bus except for the bus driver and I knew that already. I know that I've called them and they just give me the number to the county DSS and they already are on my moms side because she sweet talked them. I don't go to school, I don't have a guidence counseler and the priest at our church is like best friends with my mom. Also I had been e-mailing a teacher for like a month and she was the one calling all the time telling the DSS about what was going on. So I've been through that whole prosses and they just came to the house and talked to use. No one can do anything with this DSS place in South Dakota they're not that great to work with.

Love,
Maddy

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Keep calling.

I have to say this since everyone else hasn't. Is there any possibility that you are making too much of this?

Yes, you were treated badly. However, the behavior stopped. Sometimes, even parents make mistakes.

However, if no one but you thinks you are being abused, maybe everyone but you is correct.

I'm not making to much of it I think because she still will emotionally abuse me. And the reason she stopped was cause she was scared. And I'm still not getting an education at all. Everyone else agrees with me like family and friends. I just wish and hope that things could change and that I would feel safe in my own home but since that's not happening I think I should go and live with my sister.

Love,
Maddy

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Quoting MaddytheHippie

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I'm not making to much of it I think because she still will emotionally abuse me. And the reason she stopped was cause she was scared. And I'm still not getting an education at all. Everyone else agrees with me like family and friends. I just wish and hope that things could change and that I would feel safe in my own home but since that's not happening I think I should go and live with my sister.

Love,
Maddy

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Wait.

Are you saying you THINK she will emotionally abuse you? Not only is EVERY teenager thinking that they are emotionally abused by their parents, but I think it isn't even happening yet.

What is really going on?

No she DOES emotionally abuse me she calls me a "bitch" and "stupid" and she says how she dis likes me. I'm NOT making this up at all. It's happened to all of my brothers and sisters and they all left home around my age.

Love,
Maddy

And what do you say to her?

Do you ever tell her how much you hate her and how you wish you had never been born? How much you wish she wasn't your mother?

I ain't Dr. Phil. I am just saying that all teenagers fight with their parents. Granted, some fights are healther than others, but all teenagers fight.

I don't say anything back useally. Sometimes I do say that she shouldn't call me stupid and I have told her that I wish God didn't give me to her. But seriously how would want a mom like that?? Yes I know that they do but this stuff doesn't happen to ANY of my other friends.

Love,
Maddy

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Quoting MaddytheHippie

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I don't say anything back useally. Sometimes I do say that she shouldn't call me stupid and I have told her that I wish God didn't give me to her. But seriously how would want a mom like that?? Yes I know that they do but this stuff doesn't happen to ANY of my other friends.

Love,
Maddy

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They are lying.

All parents and teenagers fight. Goes with the territory.

No judge is going to emancipate you because you and your mother scream at each other.

No I wasn't saying that. But none of my other friends are called stupid and their parents don't hit them. But yes I know they fight with their parents. And I'm not planning on getting emancipated anymore. I think I'm just gonna have to to keep calling DSS even tho I know they won't do a thing.

Love,
Maddy