Child Needs Help

Hello,

This situation may be too complicated. I'll try to give the minimum of information. The jurisdiction is Wisconsin

Children confided to a professional they'd been abused (torture/sodomy) by their father. An investigation began, mother was informed and asked protective services for help to find appropriate help (children are terrified because abuser threatened to kill them and their family if they "told"). The social worker sent the abuser notification that the children were in need of protection services due to abuse. As incredible as that sounds, she also "accidently" revealed the mother and child's location. The department apologized, said the worker was new, etc.

The DA said not to worry, charges would be pressed, but it would take a long time as there was a backlog. The DA recently sent mother a letter saying charges would not be pressed due to lack of evidence. (all children gave the same story, exhibit all the signs/behaviors etc.) It turned out that the social worker's father is a congressman.

Two of the children have been hospitalized since for depression and sucicidal tendacies. None of them sleep well. One is sleeping in a closet because it doesn't have windows, he feels safer there. He is acting out in school.

Which brings us to the current problem. They have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress disorder. The behavior of the 10 year old has been of concern for months now. We have meetings at school, they talk about his behavior but not what caused it, not what was happening at the time (as is required in his IEP). Nothing has been properly documented all year. He has been threatened all year with being put in a foster home if he didn't start getting his homework done, calling the police if he didn't cooperate in school, he has been told by a teacher that he is disabled. (he's not). I don't deny that he acts out and displays typical behavior of a child with PTS and who is afraid. He is sent to the special needs teacher when he feels overwhelmed in the classroom. She is not well versed in how to meet his special needs and tends to yell a lot. He just feels threatened.

Today was the same. He became very upset and ended up climbing on top of a bookcase (3 - 4 ft. tall). He felt threatened, the teacher of course was trying to make him come down but has no idea really what the proper method should be. So she grabbed him. She scratched his arm in a few places and a gouged it in another, his sweater is stretched out. Obviously he was terrified and scratched her back and twisted her arm to make her let go of him. She filed a police report against him! Her husband is a police officer.

She, and the school, had just been asked to provide her documentation for the year concerning this child. It didn't exist, she said she just kept that information "in her head". This is clearly a problem, the school brought in a sub for her the next day and she created the paperwork. The school is saying they can not provide what he needs and want to send him to a "school" that is in a state mental hospital.

How do we protect this child?

Your child appears to be too traumatized to be expected to function on a classroom setting. Get him OUT of there. Sending him to a place where he is surrounded, terrified, and overwhelmed isn't going to help him. Don't let the school try to tell you that "tough love" is to keep sending him until he copes - it's NOT "tough love" to force him to try to cope in situations he's not emotionally equipped to deal with - at least not right now. If he's been diagnozed with PTSD, what is being DONE about it? Therapy? Meds? Alternative schooling or private tutoring? A lot of this will depend on the age of the child, which you don't share in your posting - but one or more of these is likely to be ESSENTIAL if your child is going to be able to get any kind of appreciable learning experience that will impact the rest of his life. No one can expect a kid to calmly color inside the lines while he's running from a lion.

Thank you for responding. You analogy is a good one and actually puts things into perspective a little more. The boy is 10.

I don't believe that he should be sent to the school in the mental health center, kids who live in that hospital go to this school. We toured it, he was terrified, and so was his mother. However, she likes the principal and thinks they may be able to help his behavior problems. They said they do not teach, they maintain the child's current level. I believe they "teach" behavior control through fear, mom isn't sure but knows he has to be able to function normally or he doesn't stand a chance. I think home-schooling, a home-based program through the school, anything else is preferable.

We also need direction from a legal stand point. Isn't it unreasonable to push a terrified child into a corner, grab him and then press charges against him when he lashes out? This teacher has said she will press charges against any child who touches her from now on. I'm not sure she is up to the task of helping children with PTSD.

The teacher does have the right to report an assault against her. Ultimately, the prosecutor will decide if the requisite intent to commit the crime is present or not. I suspect that they will not prosecute, but I also suspect that the court and child services are going to support an alternative placement for this child.

My wife taught for a few months in a classroom for disturbed children and she was assaulted daily. She was assigned the class as it was not designated special ed. even though every child was "disturbed" (there were financial and legal reasons why these kids were in a semi-normal environment and not a special one-on-one environment as recommended by the district psychologist). She did not tell me right away, because she knew I would go ape ... and I did. Ultimately, we developed a multi-disciplinary approach that began with a call to the police, an assessment of the situation by law enforcement and the school staff on site, and if a crime had been alleged (such as assault and battery) the minor would be transported to juvenile hall where a mental health counselor and a school psychologist or representative would also respond to conduct further assessments on the child. This has worked well. But, we also found that holding the child accountable by slapping cuffs on them has worked to deter even the most disturbed of the children. My wife has since transferred to an opening in a another class, but it was a horrendous three months of her coming home in tears almost every night and then lying to me about what was going on.

The problem often is one of two things: (1) the parents refuse to acknowledge there is a problem with the child and resist attempts to provide proper placement for the child, thus resulting their remaining in an educational environment that is dangerous and unproductive. Or, (2) a lack of local educational resources to assess and address the problems of the child in question.

It seems clear that at least for the time being, the child may be better off in a different environment.

Good luck.

- Carl

Thank you Carl. There is no question the child would be better off in a different setting, the school is unable to provide the services he needs, the teacher does not have the training needed to provide an acceptable environment for a child with PTSD. The school wants him out because he will be a black mark on them as far as No Child Left Behind. We want him in a place he feels safe and can learn. He is only in this teacher's room for part of the day, but it's enough to be a problem.

You would think any school would be able to provide a safe place for all children, but sadly not all teachers are able to learn more than "tough love" methods, which limits their competence and contribution. It's not reasonable to punish the child for a school's lack of competent resources. The school exists for children not the employees, after all.

That said, the fact remains our options are limited. There is a severe lack of child psychologists in our area. We have bounced from one family therapist to another. In the beginning we understand they will play games, color, be silly and not address any issue because they are gaining the children's trust. After 6-8 months and we're still playing basketball and practicing walking together, while chanting "we stay together", we try someone new, and they get out a basketball. The drugs are dangerous for children, but we're trying them because we don't seem to have a choice. We can't afford to quit work and stay home to home-school. There must be another choice than a mental hospital school. It looks like a solitary confinement cell in the psych ward.

This child, by the way, acts perfectly normal anywhere he feels safe. He is kind, considerate, funny, caring and intelligent, cooperative, hard-working. He wants to be a lawyer when he grows up. Although darn Al Gore now has him afraid the whole world is ending soon, in addition to his "normal" fears.

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Quoting Titletown

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You would think any school would be able to provide a safe place for all children, but sadly not all teachers are able to learn more than "tough love" methods, which limits their competence and contribution. It's not reasonable to punish the child for a school's lack of competent resources. The school exists for children, not the employees, afterall.

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However, no teacher should be required to go to work in an environment that puts them in to harms way, and not all teachers are trained to handle special needs children - in fact, most are NOT trained this way.

Ultimately, it comes down to money. Special education and the education of disturbed children can be very expensive as it often comes down to a one-on-one program or nearly so - this can be up to 20 times more expensive to provide than a standard education, and most districts (at least in my state) are struggling to avoid layoffs. And, with the special ed. aspect of education growing, money is becoming tighter and tighter.

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There must be another choice than a mental hospital school. It looks like a solitary confinement cell in the psych ward.

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There is no easy choice. Unfortunately, the mainstream public school program does not appear to be appropriate for him, either. And while the school might be required to forgive certain transgressions due to an IEP or such, criminal acts are not exempted under an IEP and neither are civil suits brought by staff or parents of other students should an injury occur.

When my wife was being assaulted, and they threatened to take away her only aide due to budget cuts, I nearly blew a gasket. I put the district on notice that since I knew the kids in this class had already been identified as disturbed and were recommended for special placement but denied due to funding, that should my wife be injured again, I would sue the district for their disregard. Ultimately, they did not remove the aid, we worked together to develop a multi-disciplinary approach to problems as they occurred, and my wife transferred to the first opening that arose.

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He wants to be a lawyer when he grows up. Although darn Al Gore now has him afraid the whole world is ending soon, besides his "normal" fears.

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Hopefully he will be a prosecutor ... and the Al Gore thing almost caused me to spill my coffee! :D

Counseling never seems to be a quick fix, and schools are not perfect. They are made to address the needs of the majority of children, and not the needs of the one. Unfortunately, far too often the many are being left behind due to the needs of the one (many classrooms have a teacher or an aid dealing with a single student who acts out and the rest of the class suffers as a result). Having been in education in my prior (pre-cop) life, and having lived with and worked around teachers from birth until now, I have seen that evolution.

Good luck with your child's issues, and keep plugging away. No decision will be easy.

- Carl

I just have to add, if their abuser were in jail where he belongs, the children could sleep and function better. As I said, after the investigation the DA initially assured us charges would be pressed. I fully believe that it was delayed over a year and then dropped because of the "mistake" the congressman's daughter made. The 10 year old has dark circles under his eyes you don't see on even adults, he goes in his closet at night because he feels safer. There has to be a resolution.

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Quoting Titletown

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I just have to add, if their abuser were in jail where he belongs, the children could sleep and function better.

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Don't rely on that to bring things to a reasonable conclusion. Even if he is convicted, he will one day get back out. Any problems they might experience could just re-emerge, so any counseling or therapy will have to be ongoing, and the acting out or nightmares could well continue or recur again.

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As I said, after the investigation the DA initially assured us charges would be pressed. I fully believe that it was delayed over a year and then dropped because of the "mistake" the congressman's daughter made.

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Abuse cases are difficult to make at trial. Without physical evidence or independent witnesses, they are even tougher. And, to be honest, allegations of abuse of all kinds (physical, sexual, domestic violence) are about as common as a sunrise when a bitter divorce or custody case is involved, so there can be some measure of systemic apprehension to any abuse claim that is unsupported by decisive physical evidence or a prior history. Depending on the age and mental state of the child, the case can be made stronger or almost impossible. I'd say that we find about one in four reported or cross-reported (from CPS) allegations to be substantiated, and maybe 25%-35% of those are strong enough for the DA to consider for trial.

These cases - like acquaintance rapes - are tough to investigate and pursue. And, they tend to take a great deal of time. My agency has a few that are at about one year and we still don't have enough to bring to trial ... we're hopeful, but not overly confident.

- Carl

Following the investigation there was no doubt in the mind of the prosecuter that this was a case that could be won. This was not a bitter divorce situation, the abuser had been out of their lives for a year, didn't know where they moved and didn't care. The children confided in someone - because the school provides program after program to ingrain them with the fact that they should come forward. It's no wonder this kid has learned not to trust what adults say, he was told he'd be protected and would receive justice. Ever since they "told" their lives are slowly spiralling out of control. The only positive is that the "telling" keeps the "professionals" in business.

I'm sure your wife is a wonderful teacher. However, when there is an IED because of PTSD, if the teacher is not qualified to teach this student he/she causes more harm than good. If a teacher is trained in PTSD he/she will not be assaulted by the student.

The kid didn't assault the teacher. He reacted. You can not grab anyone with PTSD, when you see the child is afraid, you do not back physically him into a corner to get him to go to a room he doesn't feel safe in. When the child is cowering, you don't grab him, stretch his clothing, scratch him and call it assault when he tries to make you let go of him. Unless you don't know what you are doing. This person claims she does, but has not completed one step of the IEP all year. There is a check list of do's and don'ts for a teacher to follow for a student with PTSD, she ignored every one of them. She is not your wife. Sadly, every other parent with a child in this class feels the same, and they don't get help from outside professionals either.

Bottom line, if a teacher is not qualified to teach children with disorders, they have no business trying it for any length of time. There is no excuse for adding trauma, needlessly, because a well-meaning teacher doesn't have a clue.

Let me ask you this, as a law enforcement professional. When the first child admitted what had happened to them, police were called, the other children were questioned. A detective was assigned the case, it was a big affair. From the start the mother was afraid to proceed, she didn't want to put her children through what eventually happened. She was assured it was the best thing for them, that they couldn't begin to heal until this happened and that because all the boys told the same story, we could rest assured that he would be prosecuted and convicted.

Once the investigation was turned over to the DA, he said much the same thing. But, after the social worker notified the abuser and gave him their address (and the grandmother threatened to sue), suddenly the state doesn't see him as much of a threat anymore. They and the detective - who were so confident at the start, now say the same thing you have, that these cases are so difficult to prove.

That can only mean one of two things. Either it is not in the best interests of the state to prove he is a danger, because of the social worker releasing their location. (he has been seen driving around their city and their house many times since then) If that is not the case, then it can only mean that detectives, social workers, therapists, da's will tell a family whatever they have to in order to chalk up payable hours, knowing in the end these cases are difficult to prove. That sentence was never used, until they were put through hell for 1 1/2 years. They now live in fear. Should kids really "tell"? They were much better off before they did, they were happy and functioning. They were a joy. Now they are being dismissed by the very people who got the ball rolling.

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Quoting Titletown

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Following the investigation there was no doubt in the mind of the prosecuter that this was a case that could be won.

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Then what has prevented them for proceeding. I don't know how a social worker's portion of the case could possibly impede that unless this was the person who conducted the forensic interview and that person messed up with leading questions or some other foul up.

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It's no wonder this kid has learned not to trust what adults say, he was told he'd be protected and would receive justice.

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That's something we in law enforcement keep trying to get social workers to do - stop promising things that we may not be able to deliver. Never make a promise that you cannot keep yourself.

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I'm sure your wife is a wonderful teacher. However, when there is an IED because of PTSD, if the teacher is not qualified to teach this student he/she causes more harm than good. If a teacher is trained in PTSD he/she will not be assaulted by the student.

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My wife's case was not so simple. the children were intentionally (for funding and due to parental denial) categorized as needing some special assistance, but not such that they were even categorized as special education so no special training or credential was required. Though, according to the principal, the aid, and the superintendent she has been the only teacher in three years to get any academic work out of those particular children (7 of them).

As for the PTSD situation note that unless your district is flush with money and specially trained staff, the odds of a person trained in your child's particular ailment are very slim. Also, teachers usually don't have a say in these assignments. The school or the district looks at the person either filling the position most closely related to the problem or a person who has qualifications meeting the legal sufficiency, and the child is placed. If the teacher says, 'No', they likely don't have a job next year.

There just is not enough money floating around to pay and hire teachers to handle everything. Maybe the teacher mis-handled this child's situation. But, I doubt that anyone could expect the district to have an especially trained teacher at every school free to handle these students. Unless the IEP specifically stated that the child would be taught by someone with specific training and certification, you get who you get.

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The kid didn't assault the teacher. He reacted.

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But, on its face it is assault and battery. His situation is why the prosecutor will have to evaluate the total case and the circumstances to determine if there is a crime he can prosecute. In my state, for someone under 14 years of age we have to establish the intent of the child to strike out and do harm ... I am certain the law is similar where you are.

Again, I doubt you will see a criminal complaint go forward, but that does not mean the teacher was wrong in reporting it. To her it was battery, and to most people it would be seen as such ... just as to most people a person yelling at you and threatening to kick your tail might be thought to be criminal threats - but, it's generally not the case (by itself).

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This person claims she does, but has not completed one step of the IEP all year. There is a check list of do's and don'ts for a teacher to follow for a student with PTSD, she ignored every one of them.

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It sounds like you need to go back to the administration and compel them to comply with the IEP they agreed to. However, this might require a new placement for the child at another location.

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Sadly, every other parent with a child in this class feels the same, and they don't get help from outside professionals either.

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I don't know about your neck of the woods, but in mine there is a lot lacking in this area. Special education needs are nearly bankrupting my county's educational system. Two school districts and the county office of education are all floundering because of skyrocketing special ed. expenses, and it is to the point that they may fold up that tent and end up shipping out many of the special needs students to another county every day ... or, they might consolidate all special ed. in one city to help conserve costs - though transportation will have to be provided, and this could become an issue.

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Bottom line, if a teacher is not qualified to teach children with disorders, they have no business trying it for any length of time. There is no excuse for adding trauma, needlessly, because a well-meaning teacher doesn't have a clue.

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This is an administration problem and something that needs to be dealt with by the bean-counters. The teacher may not have had any say in the situation. And, if the teacher is not adequate, you - as a parent - do have other options. How viable those options are is debatable.

- Carl

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Quoting Titletown

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They and the detective - who were so confident at the start, now say the same thing you have, that these cases are so difficult to prove.

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They are. Their initial optimism may have been tempered by what they uncovered - or, were unable to uncover - during the course of the investigation.

A certain amount of optimism is good at first to try and put the victim and the family at ease. But, things can change as facts come to light. What might sound great at first can quickly deteriorate into a steaming pile o' doo. Only the detective or the DA can explain what caused their change of opinion.

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That can only mean one of two things. Either it is not in the best interests of the state to prove he is a danger, because of the social worker releasing their location. (he has been seen driving around their city and their house many times since then)

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Has the family sought a restraining order? That should put an end to that driving through.

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If that is not the case, then it can only mean that detectives, social workers, therapists, da's will tell a family whatever they have to in order to chalk up payable hours, knowing in the end these cases are difficult to prove.

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That's simply not true.

There are only three of types of arrests/convictions that come to mind which give a cop and a DA true pleasure - that which involves a child molester/abuser, a rapist, and a killer. These are also the only cases worth going the extra mile to pursue. The problem is that they ARE difficult to prove and can often take many months and sometimes years to build. In the meantime, you have victims or their kin pressing for details or information, and we just can't give any out. Sadly, victims and their families often torpedo cases if we give them much info. Nothing like having the mother of a minor rape victim call a suspect up and tell him that he's going to prison and outline what a detective told her just before the suspect is to come in for an interview ... the suspect in that case clammed up, got an attorney, and we were never able to hammer him with his conflicting statements and try to get a confession.

If there is any viability to the case, it will be pursued.

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They now live in fear. Should kids really "tell"? They were much better off before they did, they were happy and functioning. They were a joy. Now they are being dismissed by the very people who got the ball rolling.

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Internalizing it will not have benefited them.

In my day and age you did not tell anyone about this sort of thing. There was a child molester on my street who molested almost everyone I grew up with - including my sister. This did not come to light for about 15 years - not until all the victims were well into adulthood and the SOL had expired. Almost every one of these kids had suppressed their experiences and many fell into alcohol and drug abuse, depression, severe weight problems (likely due to self-esteem issues) nightmares, ad nauseum. If they kept inside they would likely have grown up with some kind of problem, and then would almost certainly have had the memories sparked at some point in adulthood.

No, it was right that they came forward.

The suspect can be subject to a restraining order. He can also be sued in civil court. the advantages of a civil suit is that the police investigation might be able to be brought out as part of that, and the burden of prof in a civil matter is much lower than that needed for a conviction in a criminal case (a-la OJ Simpson).

The DA and the detective probably should not have been SO optimistic ... but, I have seen cases that I would have bet the farm on, too ... only to watch them fall into poop as the investigation unfolded. It's likely they found some issues that will be difficult to work around - perhaps conflicts in specific dates, times and events (i.e. he has alibis) ... perhaps credibility issues ... perhaps the mental state of the victims now makes them very un-credible witnesses before a jury ... no one knows.

If it were my child, I would arrange a sit down with the DA and ask what is going on and why the change of heart.

- Carl

The DA and the police were confident about a conviction before and after the investigation. We didn't talk to the DA until after the investigation, and were told not to worry, charges would be pressed. The only thing that changed is that the social worker gave the abuser the children's location. Other social workers have said this is grounds for a law suit. Because of that, it would be better for the state if he were not charged and deemed a threat to society. As I said, the social worker's father is a congressman.

Their abuser has no respect for the law. The restraining order does not stop him. He shows up and runs, it's their word against his.

His current wife is divorcing him for the same reason, and also had to get a restraining order. He's living with another woman with children. He was kicked out of the air force for assaulting a female officer. He blackmailed his 1st mother-in-law, trading her money for the safety of her grandchild. His list of sins is long, and he'll remain free to commit more. Justice is not only blind, it's deaf and dumb.