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Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?

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  • 03-27-2008, 04:30 PM
    Happy Trails
    Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?
    http://www.state.il.us/court/opinion...ML/5990010.htm

    http://www.illinoisdivorce.com/famil...affections.php
  • 03-27-2008, 05:12 PM
    cbg
    Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?
    You're making it sound as if they were actively participating in this. I assure you, no one was thinking, Dee's husband wants to cheat on his wife, how can we make it easier for him? No one was deliberately arranging schedules to put them together. No one was going out of their way to give him access.

    They are not his babysitters.
  • 03-27-2008, 05:21 PM
    Happy Trails
    Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?
    Quote:

    Quoting cbg
    View Post
    You're making it sound as if they were actively participating in this. I assure you, no one was thinking, Dee's husband wants to cheat on his wife, how can we make it easier for him? No one was deliberately arranging schedules to put them together. No one was going out of their way to give him access.

    They are not his babysitters.

    Yep, that isn't the employer's job to hold the hands of their employees and make them keep their hands to themselves as if they are children.

    I don't see how they helped him get away with anything that he wouldn't have done on his own anyway. What right do they have to intervene in someone elses personal life?
  • 03-27-2008, 05:26 PM
    Deeisme
    Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?
    Thanks Happy Trails... this information was interesting and informative.

    And yes Panther I am angry, and I believe justifiably so, but this was not just about the infidelity aspect, but the utter disregard by the other people involved to the impact that their actions would have on my family's lives. My home, our so called marital assets, my children's future education, our whole way of living has all been put in jeopardy partly by their negligence and blatant disregard for those who might be impacted, simply because they were helping their "buddy" get some, which just so happened to be their employee. So maybe I consider that aspect of it, and maybe even if monetarily there is no resolution, maybe the truth being brought out and their part in it being exposed would bring some form of satisfaction, if only for them sharing in the emotional impact that I and my family has had to forego. And just maybe the company would then at least have to look at their policies and procedures and be sure to find ways to prevent this kind of "buddy system" mentality and abuse of their company priveledges from continuing to exist in their workplace.

    The response to the why.... because he is not the only one cheating there... I witnessed his married station manager pour tequilla shots for the 20-yr-old ramp agent at the Holiday Party who was hanging on him later on the dance floor, while his wife was not there. And I know about the other married supervisor who went on that trip and is NOW divorced. This is a I help you, you help me situation. My X told me tons of stories, some of which I saw, all the time playing that he was the "good one" there.

    Oh and far as the doing all this on his own... financially, he didn't have the money to do it on his own. His paycheck went to me to pay the bills. So $100 dinners with his station manager girlfriend were not something he could ever possibly afford, without his station manager allowing him to expense it back, which he did....
  • 03-27-2008, 11:53 PM
    LawResearcherMissy
    Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?
    Quote:

    Shouldn't someone have questioned why a married man with a child was being sent there for such extended periods, it's not like they didn't know he had a family?
    Dee, I'm not unsympathetic to your feelings, but ...well, you're blaming the wrong people.

    Married men with families get sent all over the place all the time for work. I'm not going to see my husband for the next three days, he's off on business.

    Does his company know he has a family? Yup. I'm friends with his boss. I've met the boss' boss. They know I'm chronically ill and that we've got two kids.

    They also know that he's got a job to do. It's what they pay him for, and they owe me no explanations.

    Your husband is a grown-up, and it's incumbent upon him to act like one. It's not his employer's responsibility to babysit him, nor is it their responsibility to report his every move back to you.

    Lay the blame where it belongs - squarely with him.

    Best of luck.
  • 03-28-2008, 03:18 AM
    BOR
    Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?
    Quote:

    Quoting Happy Trails
    View Post
    http://www.state.il.us/court/opinion...ML/5990010.htm


    That was an excellent citation!!

    I was getting ready to post my thoughts about the Law of Agency, etc. but read the case first, so my thoughts are moot!!

    I am quite sympathetic with you also Deeisme, but many times there is no legal remedy for "hurt", as this is why only a handful of states still recognize this tort and also criminal conversation, your typical "heart balm' torts.

    I will readily admit some states still have adultery on the criminal books, but I do not know if ILL is one, and even if it is, prosecutions for such are "extremely rare"!!

    Best wishes.
  • 03-28-2008, 04:04 AM
    gigirle
    Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Work For His Cheating?
    Hi Dee
    I feel your pain and so does everyone who's hooked up with an idiot. I can't explain it other than a mid life crisis. The only one to blame here lies with your husband. That doesn't make it hurt less. Time does heal wounds and it does get easier. I like to believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason here is that you have sold yourself short of what you deserve. Since you took the comforting road here the first time, maybe its that the "love God's" are looking out for ya here. You deserve better than this and you should not tolerate it, accept it or continue living like this.

    Get some professional help to deal with the immediate anger. It's natural. Do it for your kids and yourself.

    Quote:

    And just maybe the company would then at least have to look at their policies and procedures and be sure to find ways to prevent this kind of "buddy system" mentality and abuse of their company priveledges from continuing to exist in their workplace.
    This is never going to happen. Companies are for profit not for babysitting adults. Buddy systems have always existed and will continue to exist until it becomes sexual harrassment, then the company will intervene but thats a different matter. Your husband is a grown adult and is at free will to make his own decisions even if they are poor ones. It sucks but thats the way it is. He will not be considered the greatest catch by the next unsuspecting woman after he paycheck goes to you for child and spousal support. Get a good lawyer and quickly. One that is shark like in nature. Make sure that you are the plaintiff so he can answer to some alligations that are put on him.

    Quote:

    I witnessed his married station manager pour tequilla shots for the 20-yr-old ramp agent at the Holiday Party who was hanging on him later on the dance floor, while his wife was not there. And I know about the other married supervisor who went on that trip and is NOW divorced. This is a I help you, you help me situation. My X told me tons of stories, some of which I saw, all the time playing that he was the "good one" there.
    This is where I lose sympathy. He already cheated on you once and you witnessed the behavior of the coworkers at parties. Why were you surprized it happened again? Your anger is stemming from believing the loads of crap oozing from his pie hole. This is not the fault of the company, it belongs solely with the husband and not you for taking him back and believing him. Please for the sake of your children, get professional help and don't hesitate to send the bill to the ex. Don't make life comfortable for him again.
    I'm sorry that this happened to you.
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