Yeah, they're called wives. And they come from the factory with a judgement that's never satisfied, a lien on your social life, and an RO not allowing you within speaking distance of any woman more attractive than them. :rolleyes: :DQuote:
Quoting usedbranflakes
Wives
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03-07-2008, 04:12 PM4eyedbuzzardWives
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03-09-2008, 08:51 PMsouperdaveRe: Shoplifted $10.58 Worth Of Merchandise, Fined $350
The 'truth' was never more plainly spoken!:D
....I will never admit to my wife that I posted this.....it was my evil twin! -
03-09-2008, 08:54 PM4eyedbuzzardRe: Shoplifted $10.58 Worth Of Merchandise, Fined $350
Mine knows I posted it - and she still won't leave! :wallbang: :rolleyes: :D
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03-09-2008, 08:57 PMsouperdaveRe: Shoplifted $10.58 Worth Of Merchandise, Fined $350
I keep tellin' mine "G.C.A., babycakes, G.C.A.!!!"
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03-09-2008, 09:18 PM4eyedbuzzardRe: Shoplifted $10.58 Worth Of Merchandise, Fined $350G.C.A. ? Guam Code Annotated (Divorce)?Quote:
Quoting souperdave
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03-09-2008, 09:23 PMsouperdaveRe: Shoplifted $10.58 Worth Of Merchandise, Fined $350
>gun cleaning accident< :o
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03-09-2008, 09:24 PMsouperdaveRe: Shoplifted $10.58 Worth Of Merchandise, Fined $350
Of course I'm kidding!!! ;)
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03-09-2008, 09:39 PM4eyedbuzzardRe: Wives
Hey! I think I just got charged with thread hijacking![this post was moved by mod from a shoplifting thread]
I'm pleading dim cap. (Hey, this is the best set up line y'all are gonna get. Twyce, you listening?) -
03-09-2008, 09:44 PMBlueCrystalRe: Wives
Ok boys! You are all on my report to your wives on PTA night I'm going to tell on you all, accept Blueeagle, he's my little wo wo boy. Now cough up all the money, jewelry, and credit cards. I'm not above backmail. I can't be bought but I can be paid off monthly. That's the ex-wife thing your next leason in life.
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03-09-2008, 09:45 PMsouperdaveRe: Wives
It's been awhile since we got in some 'real' trouble anyway.....
I would like to strike a plea deal?!? I don't want another Thread-Jackin' charge on my record, say, is there anything we can do to work this out?
I throweth myself upon the mercy of the "court"!!!!!:D -
03-09-2008, 09:48 PMblueeagleRe: WivesBlueEagle is proud to say he is not married. Not that stupid. No man and their right mind would ever get married. Hell, 6 weeks later they divorce you and take half your stuff. Now I have been a "wo wo boy" a few... several times.Quote:
Quoting BlueCrystal
:p -
03-09-2008, 10:00 PMsouperdaveRe: Wives
Dang! You miss out on that special time of the month when the initials stand for Potential Murder Suspect..............
.....I am sooooooooooo D.O.A. when(IF!) she sees this......pretty darn funny though!
Signed,
victim.............. -
03-09-2008, 10:10 PM4eyedbuzzardRe: Wives
PMS = Planning to Murder Spouse
As a friend of mine who is going on ex-wife #3 said, "You never truly know a woman until you meet her in court." :wallbang::wallbang::wallbang: -
03-09-2008, 10:18 PMblueeagleRe: WivesIt took THREE ex-wives before he learned????Quote:
Quoting 4eyedbuzzard
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03-09-2008, 10:24 PMBlueCrystalRe: Wives
LOL My sister is on husband number 4. When she divorced number 3 she took everything even the son. The son was his child from a previous marriage and she won the boy in court as the bio-mother can't be found and her ex-husband is paying child support to my sister. If that isn't freaky I don't know what is!
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03-09-2008, 10:24 PM4eyedbuzzardRe: Wives
He's kinda sloooooow.:D
Better story: I have an uncle who is on #5! This one is a keeper though, been married 20 years now. But #1 thru #4 were the "same woman" if ya know what I mean. And #1 and #3 were in fact the same individual! How many guys have divorced the same woman twice?
Love hate - love hate. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!:eek:
Some people are really sloooooooooow learners!
FWIW, I'm on #1 for 25 years this summer - don't ask me the exact date though. It was warm, after July 4th, yeah, somewhere between the 4th and labor day ;) -
03-09-2008, 10:25 PMblueeagleRe: WivesSmart woman. Women always win in a divorce.Quote:
Quoting BlueCrystal
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03-09-2008, 10:28 PMblueeagleRe: WivesMy uncle William. Although, he has actually divorced her three times. He still hasn't learned. He's always going around talking about how much he wants her back.Quote:
Quoting 4eyedbuzzard
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03-09-2008, 10:36 PMsouperdaveRe: Wives
Note to self: next life = divorce attorney
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03-09-2008, 10:40 PMblueeagleRe: WivesSame here. I was thinking about becoming a criminal defense lawyer, but I realized there is no money in it. Unless of course you represent a major drug-lord. :pQuote:
Quoting souperdave
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03-09-2008, 10:58 PMsouperdaveRe: Wives
Defense lawyer? Criminal defense lawyer? Is there a difference?
Had to resurect this oldie-but-goodie! -
03-10-2008, 05:09 AM4eyedbuzzardRe: WivesOr Enron [...why, why, why] :pQuote:
Quoting blueeagle
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03-10-2008, 01:05 PMzedexRe: Wives
Yesterday was 2nd year married to #3. I have allowed her to live because those damned liberals made killing illegal.
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03-10-2008, 01:11 PMcbgRe: Wives
You are now each and every one of you on my list. That is a very bad place to be.
(insert wicked chuckle here) -
03-10-2008, 01:13 PMjojo4Re: WivesPMS = Putting-up w/Men's Sh...tuff.:DQuote:
Quoting 4eyedbuzzard
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03-10-2008, 01:15 PMseniorjudgeRe: WivesNot me!Quote:
Quoting cbg
Not me!
Not me! -
03-10-2008, 01:45 PMgigirleRe: Wives
One marriage is enough for anyone...I'll probably be the only woman here willing to admit that I married the same man twice. I like to think of myself the 2nd biggest idiot in the village. :)
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03-10-2008, 01:48 PMjkRe: WivesIs the Mister the #1 idiot in the village?:eek:Quote:
Quoting gigirle
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03-10-2008, 01:51 PMseniorjudgeRe: WivesI will ask around.Quote:
Quoting jk
I am at the casino in Monte Carlo, seducing beautiful women.
One of them may know.:p -
03-10-2008, 02:04 PMgigirleRe: WivesYep! When he asked the 2nd time, he self declared it :DQuote:
Quoting jk
(truth is...I only agreed bc I didn't think that I took enough the first time around...hehehehe) Yes I know it's evil but I've got PMS, what more can I say? -
03-10-2008, 02:47 PMBlueCrystalRe: WivesIt's not actually seduction if you have to give them money or buy them too many drinks and they don't know what they are doing.Quote:
Quoting seniorjudge
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03-10-2008, 02:50 PMBlueCrystalRe: WivesDon't sweat it gigirle I did it too. Only I married my ex-hubby twice and divorced him once. (it's a Mormon thing.)Quote:
Quoting gigirle
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03-10-2008, 02:52 PMseniorjudgeRe: WivesThe law in Monaco is a little gray in that area.Quote:
Quoting BlueCrystal
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03-10-2008, 02:53 PMjkRe: WivesMormon or LDS? and how do you get an ex when you were married twice and divorced once?Quote:
Quoting BlueCrystal
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03-10-2008, 02:56 PMgigirleRe: WivesYou can't ask that ....we can't give all of our secrets away..you might figure out how we "work it"Quote:
Quoting jk
(I can't even blame my stupidity on religion!) -
03-10-2008, 03:19 PMHappy TrailsRe: Wives
A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you? -
03-10-2008, 03:24 PMgigirleRe: WivesGood one....I can't stop laughing! And I have to agree with you.Quote:
Quoting Happy Trails
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03-10-2008, 03:33 PMseniorjudgeRe: WivesDogs never remember.Quote:
Quoting Happy Trails
Wives never forget. -
03-10-2008, 05:36 PMBlueCrystalRe: WivesMormon is the term that is a common reference to LDS. When I married him the first I was not a member of the church it was a marriage that most non-LDS spouses engage in. When I became a member we married in the Temple. So basicly I married him twice but we divorced only once.Quote:
Quoting jk
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03-10-2008, 05:39 PMBlueCrystalRe: WivesGigirle are you a member?Quote:
Quoting gigirle