Was It Rape Legally? I Don't Know.

This is a long one, and I have been really eager to ask this question but I am not sure where to go and ask.

the brief.
I invited a close close friend over when I was very sick and being sick(puking) and a high fever etc to take care of me. I live alone and I didnt want to be alone and puking. Sorry I know gross. So it was late, I was ready to go to bed and I invited him to lie down in my bed and rub my back as i had JUST puked, I took 3 tylenol PM and laid there. About 30 minutes later I was half sleeping and he was .. well trying to have sex with me. I was wearing just a night dress to begin with and I didn't really realize what was going on till he started kissing me and started ... trying to go in. I said, "I don't feel good" "I don't know if I can do this" and he went in. I was fully awake at the point and got pissed and told him to stop and flipped out at him and he left.

I am angry at him and confused on how it happened.

Sorry for the vulgar details but I am just.. confused on what to do. I never ever ever wanted to have sex with him, but I know I did some things wrong
1. invited him over at night with me half dressed
2. Invited him my bed
3. asked him to rub my back


I am really just sooooooo confused.

To make the situation worse, this happened over a month ago and I am pregnant ! Absoutely shocking to me. To make matters worse for any case against him, I refuse to consider an abortion.

Also I work with him, and since the incident he has been avoiding me to the extent of working from home.

I am just sick and confused and I dont know what to do.

My state is ........ Maine

You were ill and drugged and were in no shape to consent to turning the lights on, much less to consent to sex.

You didn't say yes. You protested. You had taken a pretty powerful sleep aid. He persisted over your protests. That's rape.

Get yourself to a rape crisis center for counseling and advice on next steps.

I am so sorry to hear about this. You are a victim and this will bother you for a while, possibly your whole life.
What he did was rape. He was sober, had his wits about him, and was not invited. No means no and he knows what he did; even I don't know is not consent; only yes is consent. It's 100% his fault.

May God be with you,

UBF

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Quoting LawResearcherMissy

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You were ill and drugged and were in no shape to consent to turning the lights on, much less to consent to sex.

You didn't say yes. You protested. You had taken a pretty powerful sleep aid. He persisted over your protests. That's rape.

Get yourself to a rape crisis center for counseling and advice on next steps.

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Amen and amen.

Sounds like rape to me.

What a low-life.

Thanks alot for the advice, I just really feel like I did something wrong, I hate him so much I want him dead, and then I feel bad for feeling that way.

One more question and this may not be the proper section. Once the baby is born, if I don't bring this out in the open now. I am guessing it will be hard to use as a defence if he wants visitation rights.


I hope he does not go there, but his family and my family are like best friends. its such an awkward situation :(

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I just really feel like I did something wrong

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You didn't. HE did. Your feelings are understandable, and frankly, I'd prosecute his ass to the ends of the Earth.

Think about it. Talk to a rape crisis counselor and listen to what she has to say.

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I am guessing it will be hard to use as a defence if he wants visitation rights.

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Possibly. Sue for child support anyway. A good attorney can help ensure that he pays support without granting visitation.

Report him to the police, it was a rape.

I have decided to report it for the childs sake. I am so not ready for this:(

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Quoting amanda9999999999999999

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Thanks alot for the advice, I just really feel like I did something wrong, I hate him so much I want him dead, and then I feel bad for feeling that way.

One more question and this may not be the proper section. Once the baby is born, if I don't bring this out in the open now. I am guessing it will be hard to use as a defence if he wants visitation rights.


I hope he does not go there, but his family and my family are like best friends. its such an awkward situation :(

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No no no - you did nothing wrong (other than think that this jackass would be a human being). Thinking you did something wrong is called "victim's mentality." In no way did you do something wrong. Judgment maybe, but in no way whatsoever does this justify this pig's actions. You will have a beautiful thing from it - a child and a life and I commend your decision, but do not make yourself the victim. Hindsight is always clear, and you can see what you would have done differently, but you did nothing wrong.

I agree to tell you to go to the police - let them decide whether to press charges. But despite what the others said, criminal rape is not as clear as what they suggest. In Pa (where I am) the law had to be physical force or it wasn't rape. Consent by the female was not the issue. They rewrote the statute to make your situation comport closer to rape, but Maine's laws could vary. But go to the cops. Tell them what happened. Stand up for yourself and let this jerk know he is scum.

I know I will get some flak from this but, Why does it look like you have this figured out ahead of time, and that the real reason you want to cry rape is so that you can deny visitation even though you will recieve child support? You have thought this through and know that if he goes to prison you won't be getting any child support right?

Don't be suprised if an mediocre attorney makes you look like a fool on the stand and this case is dismissed.

A female friend of mine is saying over my shoulder, woman, pull your head out, you are not doing this for your child, this is all about you.