Ex Makes Twice My Income, Is Seeking Unreasonable Support

I live in ARKANSAS...
My soon to be ex-wife earns $57,000 a year...and between my two jobs I barely clear $30,000.

She is going to request standard child support as per the AR chart, plus she is requesting that I carry the two children on my insurance, and pay half of all medical and child care expenses...

...all of which totals more than half of my income in a month!

Also, I regularly pay child support on a third child from a previous marriage by an informal verbal agreement.

How can I defend myself. I have an attorney, and we have spoken about matters briefly, but you know how attorney visits can be: you never rememeber everything until you get back home...and then you can't get the lawyer on the phone...and the lawyer usually has a pretty cut and dried method of handling things unless it is a VERY unusual case...

I just want ANY and ALL suggestions you can offer to perhaps assist me (and my attorney) in defending my income from a vindictive ex who is solely interested in taking from me by the only means she can - CHILD SUPPORT!

What she is seeking and what she may actually get are two different things.

Have you used the online calculator to see if it is reasonable?

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Ch...port/arkansas/

This site outlines general child support guidelines.

http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/a...d-support.html

Also, have you written down all your questions and concerns, so when you meet with your attorney you can address them?

I am working on a list now...and no, I have not used the online calculator because each state has different charts and rules and with AR being a "NO FAULT" state, I am doubtful about how "fair" the ruling will be - even the standard charts are very unfair because of the nature of my case: having informal child support payments that will NOT be considered in determining my income/expense status...I remember what she did the last time we went to court over child support...years before we decided to get married...and it was VERY unfair...

I am sure she will request no less this time...

I don't believe they can take 1/2 of your income.(1/3 maybe)
Carry the kids on your insurance, and pay for 1/2 of medical, sure, that's pretty standard for the dads. usually the cost of health insurance, is deducted from your CS obligation.
Goto your states child support website. Use the calculator. Her making 57k, and you making 30k, will ( should ) greatly reduce your payments. And your right, that informal agreement you have is irrelevant in this child support calculation.
EDIT: Not sure about that alllaw website. Seems the child support calculations on that site, are real low.

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Quoting BigBrother501

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Also, I regularly pay child support on a third child from a previous marriage by an informal verbal agreement.

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You are going to have HUGE problems in the future. Normally when a NCP is paying CS for other children that amount paid is subtracted from the income before determining the amount paid on the new order. However, that is almost always allowed only when the previous CS has been court ordered. Since there isn't a court order for your other children, you might not be able to have those payments taken into consideration. Be sure to speak to your attorney about the problem right away.

You're ex can request this or that until her face turns blue. Does not mean that she will get it. I suggest that you make her life miserable every step of the way. Don't break any laws! But if for example, you're ex gets irritated when you visit you're kids, be sure to visit every single day. Do everything that annoys her, so that she will just want you out of her life. I had Kathy Keeshan, Captain Kangaroo's sister as my downstairs neighbor. She was the most annoying person. She complained about everything. She complained about the ant problems, noise & just everything. I figured out that small things annoyed her. So I went out to the parking lot every night & neatly placed beer bottles & trash on the hood of her car. Nothing illegal! But it annoyed her to incredible levels. She pictured teenagers standing next to her car drinking beers & dumping trash on her car. She finally moved to a senior community. Mind you I loved Captain Kangaroo as a kid, but his sister was sooooo annoying. But pay you're CS on time & obay the law. Nobody I mean nobody can touch you when you play that game. . . :D

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Quoting moonlief73

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You're ex can request this or that until her face turns blue. Does not mean that she will get it. I suggest that you make her life miserable every step of the way. Don't break any laws! But if for example, you're ex gets irritated when you visit you're kids, be sure to visit every single day. Do everything that annoys her, so that she will just want you out of her life. I had Kathy Keeshan, Captain Kangaroo's sister as my downstairs neighbor. She was the most annoying person. She complained about everything. She complained about the ant problems, noise & just everything. I figured out that small things annoyed her. So I went out to the parking lot every night & neatly placed beer bottles & trash on the hood of her car. Nothing illegal! But it annoyed her to incredible levels. She pictured teenagers standing next to her car drinking beers & dumping trash on her car. She finally moved to a senior community. Mind you I loved Captain Kangaroo as a kid, but his sister was sooooo annoying. But pay you're CS on time & obay the law. Nobody I mean nobody can touch you when you play that game. . . :D

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That's quite possibly the worst advice I've ever heard.

Why is it that when the CP who has all the cards, is being totally unreasonable, doing everything to destroy the NCP, is on top of that making plenty of money? Why is it that there is that minority of people who think that the CP should be protected 100%? Why should the NCP lay down & get run over? Now I will add something that I forgot! Not only should Bigbrother501 make the CPs life miserable, but you should remind her every time that she complains, that you pay you're support obligation. Say it over & over again. Drill it into her/his head that so long as you pay you're support obligation, she really should not complain. Make the CP think that you hinge everything on that. I understand human behavior. If the CP really does not need you're money, sooner or later the CP will want to cut that one link away that makes her life miserable. Do it! Never rest! Never lay down & Never ever take advice from someone who thinks the CP with all the cards needs to run you over. . . :D

I also want to add something else. Don't make that mistake of ever saying, "Well, if the child support payments were not so high, I guess I'd visit less!" People are not entirely stupid. That will only show the CP what you're up to. My ex who stole our child & then had the nerve to get child support from me, was terrified every time I called her house. I guess that she was worried that junior might figure out that I was dad. So I called every single day. I talked down to my ex like she was a child, insisting on progress reports to our case. Not only that, I tracked my kid down through the Internet & talked to him as another kid. Then I let my ex know about that. By the time I was done with my ex, she was racing to get her husband to adopt my kid. But I am not done! When my kid turns 18, I plan on a little visit along with copies of all the emails Mommy sent me. Don't get me wrong! You are obligated to support you're kid at some level. Just let you're ex think you are fat dumb & happy to pay you're support obligation. In fact, insist on paying it the entire time. Have a nice smile on you're face when you see you're ex. Pay all support obligations on time. But once you figure out what gets under the CPs skin, GO FOR IT!!!

Moon,
I don't know your situation, however...
The original poster has said that mom will be seeking the standard child support, 1/2 of medical bills, and for him to carry the kids on his insurance. She's not asking ( as far as we know ), for anything that's above "normal".
I don't see her trying to "destroy" his life here. Now, we have to assume that he wants to be a part of his childs life. It's a real bad idea to willingly and knowingly make moms life miserable when you still need to communicate with this woman, for the well being of his child.
Why? Because kids are smart. They have ears like a hawk. They will start to resent dad. Kids also learn from their parents. Do you want your child to grow up, treating women like shit? No, you don't.
Your idea of waiting until junior is 18 to show him all the nasty things mom has done is noble. But remember, she might do the same thing. When that happens, the poor kid may resent BOTH parents. I would rather show Junior how I went out of my way to be the bigger person for the past 18 years, in the face of adversity.
You don't have to respect, or even like your kids mother. But you do have to understand, that she is the mother of your child. It's much easier to be cordial with mom, then it is to go out of your way to make her life miserable. Not to mention, if/WHEN you need to modify the custody agreement, you don't want mom telling the judge all the crap you've been pulling.
That's just mu opinion, after 4 years of being divorced. And I sincerely hope that the original poster chooses to take the high road here. His case, and your case, is totally different ( I think ).