Can You Drop a Restraining Order from Domestic Assault Charges

State is Washington ..My boyfriend and I had an argument. He was in my face yelling and would not back away out of my face, so I spit in his face. Resulting in him pushing me across the room on my bed. My teen daughter saw him toss me and called 911. I admitted I spit on him first but he was arrested. We have separated some time ago but I am stuck in the home for the meanwhile because I need his help. He provides a home for me. I am disabled and going through intensive physical treatment to get well enough to move back home over 1000 miles away. I need to be here and with a restraining order I cant make it alone. Is there a way to drop charges or the restraining order. We agree to both seek classes to better ourselves but with out the help from one another I dont see how I can make it.

:confused:What is the future to come. What should I expect to come from this../or how does this all work? ADVISE?????

Being in a financial situation that makes you dependent on an abuser is the number one reason (well, other than "love") that keeps victims in abusive relationships - and in this case also keeps your daughter living in a home to witness the abusive relationship.

Needing help to live doesn't necessarily mean it has to be HIS help, that's just the help that you're used to and what has become the status quo for you. But with criminal charges filed, you'll need to start looking elsewhere for the help you need. The pursuit of charges is totally up to the DA now, and I wouldn't count on them dropping anything, especially in light of the chance to sell the jury not only on "regular" domestic violence, but in your case domestic violence against a disabled woman. I'd imagine most prosecutors would go for the full court press on that.

You didn't mention you particular situation (are you living in his house, living in an apartment rented in his name, etc.), but you can be relatively certain that if it's his house (ie. with a mortgage) that he'll have to find a way to keep those payments up if he doesn't also want to have ruined credit and a bank foreclosure on top of his criminal charge problems. If you're in a rental situation, you may have other options. If you're not on the lease, things are easier - you start looking for a place you can afford on your own. Don't forget to contact your local domestic violence program - they help people deal with this every day (since this situation is oh-so-NOT-unique). They can help get you hooked up with programs in your community that can assist with everything from getting into affordable housing (at least in the short term since your goal is to move back home anyway) to utility assistance, etc. It'll take some phone "leg work", but can most certainly be done (I worked with a women who was wheel-chair bound due to advanced cancer, and in less than 72 hours and with only her SSD income she was able to get into new digs, get the deposits paid for by the county's assistance program, and had a team of volunteers and trucks who got her whole home moved in just a few hours while she was at the doctor's for a mastectomy check up).

Don't forget other resources like family, friends, church, neighbors, your local WIC office, your county's community assistance program, your state/county Adult Protective Services program, etc. - resources that are there to help you and don't involve having to expose yourself or your daughter to abuse in order to benefit from them.

Thanks so much for the advice..it helps... I can do it.. I have to..So Sincere..

Aardvark - what a wonderful post :)
Betty - best of luck to you - I know you can do this!