Child's Medical Problems As Grounds For A Change Of Custody

My husband has a 2 yr old son with his ex girlfriend. We just got a visitation order put into effect about 1 month ago for standard visitation. However, in the last month his son has become very sick in the mother's *custodial parent* care. Unfortunately he is usually sick when in her care. Not just colds, staph infections so bad he has had surgery. Pneumonia. Constant trips to ER and doctors. Is there enough backing to try to get custody because she allows his health to be so poor? Up until the child was 1 he lived with both parents and was rarely ill. Now, in the last year since she has been in sole control of him we are concerned for his health. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

That's not enough for custody.
Does your husband have any say in his childs medical care?
If so, he can make appointments , and go to the Dr office with the child. Get some insight as to why the child is sickly.

Quote:

---

Quoting jaymeinarkansas

---

My husband has a 2 yr old son with his ex girlfriend. We just got a visitation order put into effect about 1 month ago for standard visitation. However, in the last month his son has become very sick in the mother's *custodial parent* care. Unfortunately he is usually sick when in her care. Not just colds, staph infections so bad he has had surgery. Pneumonia. Constant trips to ER and doctors. Is there enough backing to try to get custody because she allows his health to be so poor? Up until the child was 1 he lived with both parents and was rarely ill. Now, in the last year since she has been in sole control of him we are concerned for his health. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

---

How is the child's illness her fault??? Children get sick. Is the child in daycare where he is now exposed to more germs? I don't see a change of circumstance here...Mom is taking the child to the doctor when he is ill...What more does the father expect?

The child is not in daycare. He was rarely sick until she moved out from his home. He is now continually getting serious infections. Not just a cold or runny nose. The staph was so bad they had to put him to sleep and do surgery. He is concerned for his sons life at this point. Worried that he could lose him due to extreme medical issues lately. Dr's said his staph infection could kill him if it reached his veins.
About going taking him to the dr. , she has removed him from being a contact - as a paternal father does he have rights to take him to the doctor? The court order doesnt specify any info.
Thanks

Quote:

---

Quoting jaymeinarkansas

---

The child is not in daycare. He was rarely sick until she moved out from his home. He is now continually getting serious infections. Not just a cold or runny nose. The staph was so bad they had to put him to sleep and do surgery. He is concerned for his sons life at this point. Worried that he could lose him due to extreme medical issues lately. Dr's said his staph infection could kill him if it reached his veins.
About going taking him to the dr. , she has removed him from being a contact - as a paternal father does he have rights to take him to the doctor? The court order doesnt specify any info.
Thanks

---

What does the custody order say EXACTLY regarding medical decisions? Does your HUSBAND have joint legal custody? Why hasn't Dad gone to the doctors and demanded his name be placed on file? Yes, the "paternal" :rolleyes: father has a right to seek medical care for HIS CHILD! He is the father.

BTW: My little one was never sick for the first year. But has had bacterial pneumonia, respiratory infections, ear infections, broncidas...ect... Kids get sick! She is NOT guilty of medical neglect if she is responding to his need for medical care.

Edit to add: How does DAD think that Mom is causing these issues? How does he know that the child won't continue to get ill while in his care?

Didnt know he could do that - thank you for the information. We will just get more information from the hospitals. Thanks

Quote:

---

Quoting jaymeinarkansas

---

Didnt know he could do that - thank you for the information. We will just get more information from the hospitals. Thanks

---

No. HE will get more information by calling or visiting the child's PCP. Do not turn this into a drama. He has no clue if Mom is doing anything wrong...and per your posting it seems she is handling this appropriately. She is seeking care for the child while he is ill. Again...What else does DAD expect her to do? How does he think Mom is neglectful in her care of the child?

The problem is - the child was not sick until he was in her care. She doesnt give him all his medications, and yes she takes him to the dr- sometimes it is 10 days before she makes an appt. She puts it off until it gets so bad she has no choice. He and I have three kids together and we know that kids sick. I am in no way trying to dramatize this - we are concerned for his well-being. When he is around us - he is not sick, then he will come back for next visit with a serious medical problem. He was diagnosed anemic because she wasn't giving him enough vitamins - then had a tube in ear for ear infections - yet he still gets them... Continues to get sick.

Quote:

---

The problem is - the child was not sick until he was in her care

---

You dont seem to get it...the problem is not yours AT ALL its your husbands. By being a part of it, you are creating the drama. The mother has sought treatment. Sometimes it's 10 days before I can get my kids into see their Dr. Kids get sick and some are sicker than others.

Quote:

---

He was diagnosed anemic because she wasn't giving him enough vitamins

---

You are connecting his anemia with the lack of vitamins...this is a stretch and a big one! It was probably a suggestion made to her by the childs physician to increase his vitamin intake to help correct it, not an indication that she is neglecting him. Anemia is not uncommon in children. Has the child had any problems as a result of the anemia...ie transfusions that she didn't give him? By making these inferences, you are creating the drama. What exactly was she doing to create the ear infections?

If the childs physician believes his illnesses are being caused by his mother or by her neglect, then he is required by law to report her.

The child's father can speak with his doctors about munchousin syndrom by proxy. Sorry for the spelling! In this mental illness the affected person intentionally makes their child ill. IT IS VERY VERY RARE AND UNUSUAL!!!! It also makes a great story line - see the movie Sixth Sense. IF the mother has this illness then of course the father can get custody - but like I said - it is highly unlikely.

I think that dad needs to take a very active role in the care of his child. If the child can not leave the mom's home for visitation to see dad then perhaps the dad can watch the child at mom's for a while and mom can get some respite herself. Taking care of a sick little one is very draining and she may appreciate the break. It also shows the child that both parents care about him more than they care about blaming the other adult.