New Husband Adopting Chid When Bio Dad Never Signed Paternity Papers
I have a 23 month old daughter whose biological father (who was married when I conceived and is still married, but had lied about his marriage situation) would not sign the paternity papers when she was born and therefore is not on her birth certificate. My daughter has my maiden name (I got married in 4/07 to a man who was with me when my daughter was born and has been her father since her birth). The bio dad came to visit (he lives in TX and we are in MA now, child was born in TX) in 8/06 and asked for the paternity paperwork. I completed my end of it and had it notarized, but he never completed it or sent it in.
That was the last time he saw my daughter. He calls maybe twice a month (if that), but always when he knows he will not reach me. He used to give me ~$100 every 2-3 months for the first year or so, but that ended about a year ago (he makes very good money so it's not that he can't afford it). I've never pressured him for support or to claim paternity because frankly I don't want him to have rights to my daughter.
I got married in April 07 to the man who was with me through most of my pregnancy and has been in my daughter's life since birth (she knows him as daddy). I would like him to be able to adopt her or at least have her be able to have his last name since I have changed my name and I don't want her to have a different last name growing up, especially if we have our own child together.
When I told her bio dad that I was getting married, he said that he wouldn't allow her to have my husband's name and that he is her father, yet he never acknowledged paternity, does not pay support, hasn't visited her in 1.5 years, is still married, and his family knows nothing of his daughter.
What are my options here if he is not on the birth certificate, hasn't acknowledged paternity (but has paperwork to do so signed by me in 8/06), is still married and was married at conception, etc.
Thank you in advance for any advice. I appreciate it.
Re: New Husband Adopting Chid When Bio Dad Never Signed Paternity Papers
Was there ever a court order issued as far as child support, visitation, or establishing paternity?
Re: New Husband Adopting Chid When Bio Dad Never Signed Paternity Papers
No, there was not. He never pressed for it and neither did/have I. He doesn't ask about visitation other than mentioning once that he planned to come see her (but that was 6 months ago and he hasn't made any plans). My husband and I support my daughter and he pays her insurance. I was trying to keep things clean. I don't want anything from him. I'd just like my daughter to be able to have my husband's name and ideally for him to be able to adopt her someday.
Re: New Husband Adopting Chid When Bio Dad Never Signed Paternity Papers
My understanding is that if he is nowhere on the birth certificate, paternity was never established, and there is no legal paperwork naming him as the father, you could go forward with at least a name change. But, if you were to attempt to go forward with the adoption, they would ask you to produce names of possible fathers, and even if you were successful with the adoption, he could come back later and stir up a whole ton of trouble. Your best bet is to establish paternity and then ask him to relinqush his rights so that there is no chance of him coming back later. Of course, you could inform him that if he doesnt relinquish his rights in writing, that you are going to take him to court, thus "outing" his big secret. That may be ammo enough for you right there.
Re: New Husband Adopting Chid When Bio Dad Never Signed Paternity Papers
Quote:
When I told her bio dad that I was getting married, he said that he wouldn't allow her to have my husband's name and that he is her father...
This is a red flag that you need to deal with now. You can either go into denial about this and have it possibly come back to bite you later or you deal with this head on the way it should be.
Consult with an attorney. Get the legal ball rolling to establish who the father is and ensure he is ordered to pay support and establish each others rights and responsibilities in this matter. If he really does not want to be involved, he may reconsider his position on allowing adoption when faced with the prospect of 18 years of child support payments.