Husband's Ex Never Divorced Him But Has Since Remarried Two Times

My husband of almost 2 years got a call last night from his ex-wife (or so we thought) saying she was finally filing for divorce from him, and wanted to discuss child support and visitation for their 13 year old daughter. This confirmed my suspicions that she never finalized their divorce years ago, which of course means that my marriage is not legal. A bit of history....

My husband married this woman in 1994 because he got her pregnant, and since he was in the army the only way she could get on his health plan was if they married. After just over a year their relationship was in shambles, and she cheated on him, so it was over and he moved back to Alabama, the ex and the baby stayed in Texas. For reasons I do not understand neither one of them did anything about filing for divorce until 2002 when she served papers on him, but he did not agree to the terms, and she dropped it so the divorce was never granted. I met my husband in 2003, and knowing he was still technically married, we began saving for attorneys fees and planned to file the divorce ourselves so we could move on together. Suddenly in 2004 the ex's boyfriend tells my husband's mother that the ex already divorced my husband by publication, and that they had gotten married. Well, not knowing that we needed to verify all of this, my husband and I went ahead and got married after his mother received a terminal cancer diagnosis. We know now that we should not have married without obtaining proof that the divorce was finalized, but knowing that she herself had remarried we though surely it had been. Several months after I married my husband a co-worker suggested I obtain a copy of the divorce decree for my records, so I called the county clerk in Texas where the ex lived at the time, and they had no record of the divorce, so I checked surrounding counties, no record either. I then checked for the marriage between the ex and her new husband, and she did in fact marry him, but then he had already filed for divorce, and she counterclaimed for annulment and all the motion said was that there were circumstances in existence that voided the marriage. I put two and two together and figured out that this meant she never did divorce my husband, but she went ahead and married someone else anyway. I was devastated by what that meant for me. We again began saving for a lawyer knowing that not only did he still need to divorce her, but now our marriage probably had to be anulled. I found out just last month that the ex has remarried again!!!! She is still married to my husband, yet she has remarried twice!! She finally calls up last night saying she is filing for divorce again.

My question is.... aren't there legal consequences for this type of thing? She has devastated me and my son with her actions, and it is going to cost me money and a lot of anguish and hassle to straighten this out so that my life is back in order. I am also wondering, is this something we can use against her in court if she is not willing to accept reasonable settlement for the divorce??? By the way my husband and I reside in Alabama, and the ex resides in Texas.

There are laws preventing bigotry.

Of course, your "husband" might be in the adjoining cell. Ignorance of the status of your own marriage is not an excuse.

Well, I don't fault my husband for this, I mean I do resent the fact that he never took care of the divorce himself sometime during the 11 years they were separated, but he was just as fooled by the ex as I was when it comes to believing that she divorced him by publication (supposedly because she could not locate him). He then believed as much as I that if she got remarried herself surely she had in fact divorced him. We were both duped by this woman, so I don't believe he has any fault in this now other than not taking care of this mess years ago.

It's good that there are laws preventing bigamy, but I don't hear of them being prosecuted. I wonder if it would be easier and more successful to look into a civil suit against her to recover what I will end up spending in legal fees. It's also a touchy situation when it comes to any criminal prosecution because there is a child involved in this mess.

I'm just wondering what your 'husband' told the Army. Was he still being paid as having two dependents after he moved away from his wife and child? You do know that married soldiers get paid more than singles - right? Did the wife and baby have military dependent ID cards and the free health care that goes with it? Sounds like they could find themselves in ever deeper trouble than bigamy if he was being overpaid and she was getting benefits from Uncle Sam.

No, no none of that, he was discharged from the army just before he moved away from them due to disability he sustained while active duty, they did not get any benefits they shouldn't have. Well, not from the army anyway

At this point you do not actually know that she is filing for divorce. He should immediately file in Alabama.

Yes, we discussed that last night. This woman is clearly either a pathological liar, or just out of her friggin mind. My husband and I agreed that we would give her 14 days and if we are not served with papers by then we will file ourselves. Then of course we have to move on to filing an anulment in our marriage, and that is what disturbs me so much.

I will have to incur additional legal fees because of this woman, not to mention the near emotional breakdown she has caused me. I know Judges don't typically award punitive damages in small claims cases, but I would at least hope I would have a leg to stand on if I were to sue her to recover whatever legal expenses I incur having to have my marriage annuled because of her deceit.

I doubt you would successful as your husband could have at anytime sought the proof. In fact most states ask you for proof or at least a date the previous marriage ended. I am sorry for your plight but your husband should have asked questions when he got no notice of final decree

You're right, he should have. Unfortunately his immaturity is an issue I chose to deal with when I chose to be with him. I do thank you all for your input.

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Quoting lwpat

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At this point you do not actually know that she is filing for divorce. He should immediately file in Alabama.

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I think this was best advice you got on whole thread!