Hi. First of all I want to say thanks for this service you guys seem to be providing, helping people free of charge. I read through a lot of these and it seems like everyone of these stories are basically about mommy and daddy won't let Jill and Jack be together so Jill and Jack want to get emancipated and live happily ever after until Jill gets knocked up and Jack walks.
Well ... I'm a guy, so no getting knocked up here. And I don't have a girlfriend at the present so this is really not a love triangle I have going on...
Well first of all, my parents are divorced. My dad lives in Lawton, I live with my mom in Moore, OK (home of Toby Keith). I'm 16 years old (born January 14), I have a 3.2 unweighted high school GPA, I took US Govt classes at Georgetown University this summer, I've been selected twice now to represent Oklahoma in the YMCA Youth Conference on National Affairs, I'm heavily involved in Oklahoma Youth & Government, Model U.N. of the Southwest, Young Republicans, Fellowship of Christian Athletes (I played tennis for a while), Student Council, Speech & Debate, School newspaper editor, Boy Scouts (I'm a Life Scout at the present, and I also hold down a job working at the American Eagle at Crossroads Mall. At this job I work roughly 40 hours a month (a looot more during the Holiday) which translates into a little over $200 a month before taxes (see, I'm a tax-paying citizen too). My dad is required to pay about $300 in child support each month. As a Junior my honors classes are AP US History and AP English.
Speaking of my dad, I have talked to him and he is sympathetic to my plight--he divorced the woman that I want to divorce now. My mother got custody of me because my dad, unlike my mother, believes in working hard and without a college education he had to, and still does, work at a job that requires him to work bad shifts and puts him in risk upholding the law and order. He also lives down in Lawton, OK which is approximately an hour-and-a-half journey from where I currently live in the center of the state. I am heavily involved in my high school and I know for a fact that I would not be able to be as involved in public schools down in Lawton because they don't even offer some of the activities that are vital to my rounded education...my college application, even. He understands that I can't/don't want to live in Lawton with him and he won't oppose me in wanting to get away from my mother.
Something that I don't tell a lot of people is the fact that I am gay. I told my mother about it a few years ago and since she has not been exactly supportive. She has also tolerated my younger brother's gay bashing of me, while threatening me viciously if I lay a hand on him in retaliation despite how much bigger I am then him (not just as his older brother of 3 years, but also as a high school athlete). My mother smokes--my guess--a pack a day, and she has some sort of thyroid issue that's basically an excuse for her never wanting to do shit but sit around and scream at me. This screaming at me that has gone on ever since I became a teenager has caused me much distress and depression that I've tried not to let show, and I've let it build up and there have been times before that it's all come out in an ugly fit of rage.
Me and my mother are constantly arguing. We don't just see things differently, we hate each other. We've argued over the typical kid things that I would say she has a right to argue about, like where she didn't like the idea of me traveling to Ponca City, OK (about a 100 mi trip the other way from Lawton) to date a guy I'd fallen in love with (long gone), and she has coerced me into being a Boy Scout because the only friends she has are the Boy Scout parents. But we've also had issues with a recent car accident (that I did not cause) with an uninsured motorist that totaled my car for me, refusing to allow me to take legal recourse to get some sort of transportation back, even saying that under her rules a 16 yo boy may not have a rental car even if someone else offers to pay for it--this is a ploy to keep me from leaving the house and living a life, or worse, having gay relationships. When I have to go somewhere she has to take me and pick me up, and she's usually running late, in a cranky mood, smoking cigarettes, and what not. She has even told me that she will not oppose me trying to get emancipated. She has threatened to kick me out of the house though. So I guess I won't have to worry about that from either parents.
My mother does not have a job, even though she has an MBA, and we mooch off of her rich boyfriend or husband or whatever. By mooch I mean, a place to live. Aside from that, money is tight at times (I'm guessing depending on whether he's getting any). There is no doubt I would be more financially comfortable on my own even though I do live in a very posh suburb. My mother is also someone that a few people would probably testify to as being a psycho bitch. Especially from my dad's side of the family.
I have never physically hit my mom. There was one time that she was screaming in my face, bent over (I am two feet taller than her, but I was sitting in a chair at the time), hitting me with her purse, fixing to slap me by the way she pulled her hand back and I put my hands up in her way and I "incidentally" ("" because I could honestly give a **** about her) hit her in the face breaking her glasses, but she claims that I hit her too. The only other two times I've been violent towards her was one time that she came up in my room and started hitting me, throwing stuff at me when I wouldn't take that anymore (I grabbed a floor lamp and chased her in the hallway with it while she ducked into the bathroom, her boyfriend ran up the stairs and started beating the shit out of me including strangling me), and another time that I don't remember too well but stuff started going and I couldn't take it anymore so instead of hitting someone I took a chair and threw it at a wall. I sincerely regret loosing control like that, and the only reason I disclose that is in the interest of full disclosure so that the advice I get may be as accurate to my situation as possible, and I am not denying that in that one instance I did something very regrettable with my pent up feelings about how this is all going.
I am gay and I could pretty easily put together a gay abuse case I would imagine if that would help me resolve this situation as best would work out for me. It's hard for me to get around and do things right now because I don't have a car, and that's a separate legal issue where I was hit by an uninsured motorist of Hispanic descent (I don't know if they are illegal or legal), and my car was totaled with my mom seemingly standing in the way of getting this fixed. What I want to do on that separate issue is attempt to put a lien or a claim or whatever on the shiny brand-new White Nissan Altima that rear-ended me. Getting any kind of transportation really would increase my chances of becoming more independent and being able to support myself. Even advice that relies on convincing my mother to let me do this would be helpful.
Now back to the situation in my house, what I want to know is basically what to do, and how to get the ball rolling. Who to contact, the ACLU? Any lawyers that do pro bono work? The county judicial system? DHS? I don't know what to do at all here.
And how can I go about getting out on my own when I know I'll need a way of legally signing for an apartment (preferably close to my present high school), if there are any benefits from anywhere that can help reduce the cost of my living quarters or any of my costs in general, and any other legal advice that I should be aware of.
Thanks so much for reading this long story, and I hope that all of the information that I've divested helps you all in fully understanding the situation, and I'm also happy to answer any questions I may have left unanswered--like my favorite color, for example.