Paternity and Visitation in Texas

My child is not even born yet and I am trying to do right by my child. The BF and I were never married. When I told him I was pregnant he got scared and baled on me. Then months later he got excited and that is great. However we can NOT get along at all now. I have been trying to get him to discuss child support issue, visitation, etc issues with me and he just cant seem to find the time to even talk on the phone with me, yet all he talks about is how excited he is to be becoming a father. I am soon getting married. I wanted originally to put the BF name on the B.Cert. but he is being such a jerk right now I am worried about that so planned now on just leaving it blank and giving this child the same last name as my other child. Is that legal? His family is giving me grief as well. I know he has rights but they cant force me to allow them seperate visitation as well can they? I live in Tx. Baby will be born in TX. And BF lives in TX but they all live in LA and I dont want the baby bein with them if they are hateful to me now. I offered to even carry the baby down to visit with them while I am breastfeeding no matter what happened between me and BF. Was trying to be nice and felt like tonight they are threatening me when I am concerned about my child, seems they are concerned with themselves. What happens if I just up and marry my new Fiance in Arkansas. Will he become the legal father? How would that work. Would still let BF have all the visitation he wants, but dont want him sueing me, although I dont think he would but his family might. He , BF, thinks I am a great mother to my other child and really respects me HE SAYS. But then wont call to work out details. What can I do to protect myself and my child?
Thanks
Destressed and almost Due

You don't have to join in an acknowledgement of parentage if you don't wish to. You can force him to litigate, get a DNA test, and petition a court for visitation and to change the child's name. But it sounds like that's just going to add to any strain between the two of you, and if he's the father he will get visitation.

He wishes to assert his paternity rights, and trying to commit paternity fraud with your fiancé is not going to prevent him from establishing those rights. Assuming he is the biological father, the more you do to try to prevent him from establishing parentage, the worse you will look when this eventually gets before a judge.

I am not trying to be the bad person here. I have been trying to settle this out of court with him , and do what is best for the child. He just refuses to discuss the subject with me, and I am not going to be laying in a hospital bed in labor, arguing with him over custody. That is suppose to be a happy day in my life, not a stressful one. I am being as civil as humanly possible with him, because my doctor has told me that stress could send me into early labor and that is the last thing that I need right now. I dont want it to look bad on me in court, because I am putting forth an effort, and he is not. I just dont know any of the legal ramifications that could happen in this situation, because I have never been through anything like this before. I want to put him on the birth certificate, but I have told him that I refuse to just agree to joint custody because I do have a 20 month old daughter, and stability is one of the most important things for a child to have. I wont let my child move back and forth between us. I have agreed to give him all the visitation that he wants, and am not one who believes that a child should be taken away from either of their parents. But would it make any difference in court that He is avoiding me all together when it comes to discussing the custody and child support issues? And what if I have proof in text messages that I have tried on several occasions to get in touch with him regarding these matters, and he just will not discuss these matters with me.

Also, I thought that by state law I could give the baby any name I want no matter who the father was since I am not married, are you telling me that he can come back later and change my childs name? Also please remember I NEVER want to remove BF from child or vice versa. I simply want to settle this quickly and if all of this is so important to him then he could settle it all with a phone call and commiting to child support of ANY kind. I am not even asking for the full amount the state will award, but he wants to just buy me diapers when I need them etc. I want a more formal agreement, not one where when he can squeeze in caring for his child he will. So why do I come out the bad in this. He told me at the beginning of this he was an a***hole and always would be. I am a Sunday School teacher and want to raise my child, a son, to be an honorable man to serve his God, His family, his country etc and with high morals. He wants to teach him to be a smart well you know. These are his words I swear. This is why we broke up and I cant imagine why wanting stability for my child, help with raising him financially on a REGULAR basis (not on an "As I see fit" basis) makes me so wrong looking to the judge. I want the best for my child. I understand that I made a mistake by even getting pregnant, but I went before God and my church and I have gotten the forgiveness I needed, I know this child will be a blessing in my life and I PROMISE I will be a blessing in His. I just want him brought up in a surrounding of love and when I called and offered that to his family last night I offered them WAY over what their legal rights were, and his sister got huffy. I wanted the families to combine in love for my child. Now if that makes me look bad then so be it. I saved all the msg's back and forth. If I have to stick to just their legal rights then I will. I seriously was trying to give them above and beyond their legal rights for the best of my child. Maybe I should just stick to the basics and not offer them more?

Some white spaces and paragraphs would be nice.

Yes, this should go through court. Without court, he has no rights. He can't force visitation, he won't know how much child support to pay, you can't claim that his support payments were gifts, etc. It is in his best interest, and the interest of his child, to do this through court.

You cannot put his name on the BC. He has to sign for that to happen. And, once DNA proves that the child is his (another reason to do this through courts), he can request a corrected BC. Yes, you should consider giving the baby his last name or a combination of both of your last names, since he can likely petition the courts to change the name, especially since he will make the request early on (as opposed to after the child is 5, for example).

You don't get to determine who he has the baby around when it is his time. Just as he doesn't get to determine whom you have the baby around (such as your fiance, who is not related to the baby).

Breastfeeding is not going to be a legal reason for you to deny visitation. Another reason for him to go through the court system.

No, your fiance is not the legal father.

I have no idea what you're trying to protect yourself from, but I do show where you are trying to screw the father.

Well I have tried to explain this but I keep getting judged morally instead of getting legal advice. I chose not to air all of the BF dirty laundry on here so no you do NOT know what I am trying to protect myself from and that is okay.


I never asked if you look, about where he takes the child on his OWN visitation, I asked if the family can force seperate visitation for them. I AM NOT TRYING TO SCREW THE FATHER and I am sick of defending myself to ppl who do not know me. I simply asked a legal question about what would happen if I got married before the birth of this child and it has turned into a lynch mob.

"What happens if I just up and marry my new Fiance in Arkansas. Will he become the legal father? How would that work. Would still let BF have all the visitation he wants" is what I said if you check my first post. AT NO TIME have I ever mentioned taking away ANY of the childs rights. I have been asking legal questions which is what I thought this forum was all about.

Mr. Knowitall Re: Paternity and Visitation in Texas

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You don't have to join in an acknowledgement of parentage if you don't wish to. You can force him to litigate, get a DNA test, and petition a court for visitation and to change the child's name. But it sounds like that's just going to add to any strain between the two of you, and if he's the father he will get visitation.


I Have repeated over and over I NEVER intend to remove the child from the BF or vice versa read the posts.

I KNOW My fiance is not the legal father, I asked if my husband would be. Again, a LEGAL question.

I want to get married and move a few hours away to Ark. with my fiance. We live about 30 min. from the Ark. state line. I do not want the BF to prevent me from gettting married and moving. That is one of the issues at hand. If you present yourself as a legal advice site, you should not be passing judgement until you know all the specifics. And if you cant know all the specifics i would think you should just try to answer the LEGAL questions. So one more time my legal questions are simply as follows:

If I marry before birth of child, who is legal father of child?

Can BF force me to stay here in TX if I wait to marry after birth of child?

Can BF's family force seperate visitation from his?

DO NOT JUDGE ME, trust me, you dont know me or what my intentions are or you would not be. I am offering him MORE than what his legal rights are. I want that for OUR child. You are being presumptious to think differently. I just want to be able to raise my children, marry the man I love, and help my children to be happy and loved by all of us:wallbang::wallbang:

No, they cannot force separate visitation.

Having your BF sign the BC would HELP YOU SCREW THE RIGHTS OF HIS FATHER.

[QUOTE=moburkes;143097]Some white spaces and paragraphs would be nice.

sorry about not putting paragraphs and spaces in here

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Quoting moburkes

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No, they cannot force separate visitation.

Having your BF sign the BC would HELP YOU SCREW THE RIGHTS OF HIS FATHER.

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Okay I though BF stood for Birth Father and having him sign the BC would be his right, yes? HOw is that screwing him?

Quote:

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Quoting moburkes

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Having your BF sign the BC would HELP YOU SCREW THE RIGHTS OF HIS FATHER.

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I simply asked once again, IF I MARRY MY FIANCE before the baby is born, what will happen? If I want to get married and move to Ark. do I have to do it before the birth of the child? Am I not wording this right?