Daughter Lied and Accused Husband of Sexual Abuse

I could really use some advice, feedback or just a simple line saying... you'll be ok. But will I really? Will we? Here's the story.... We live in Ohio, by the way.

Just a little over 2 weeks ago, I come home from work to find a woman from DCS here with a deputy. I walk in the door and she tells me that my daughter is accusing my husband of raping her.

I literally fell to the floor.

My daughter is 15. They take my husband to the jail and I'm left in the middle of nowhere. I had thousands of thoughts run thru my head. Ohh my poor daughter... to... there's no way! He's not like that!

Well, to make a long, long story short my daughter lied. She had to write a statement on the following Saturday because the DCS worker and the deputy were coming back to talk & pick up her statement. She ended up writing FIVE different statements. I went to the jail to pay my husbands booking fee so he could have a cigarette a day. He was devastated, I was devastated, my family was, his family was and my daughter was acting as if NOTHING had happened. Nothing! She didn't have a care in the world! Well, the DCS worker & deputy didn't make it back here until Sunday evening. They questioned my daughter again and all the stories started to unravel. First, she said it happened once... last Jan. while I was at work. I wasn't working at the time.. I was off due to carpal tunnel surgery. Then she said.. oh thats right, you were on painkillers! I've never ever taken one. Another one was she told the DCS worker that a few weeks prior, my husband put his hand on her breast.. she told the deputy he put his hand on her leg... she said my husband did something to her when we lived in another state with his Grandma.. up in her room. I said.. right beside ***** room? Well Mom, she IS a heavy sleeper. Umm no.. my husbands Grandma is such a light sleeper that one morning she asked me to tell my daughter not to turn her radio on on the middle of the night, she didn't care if it was low or not.. she could hear it. Then my daughter said it wasn't my husband at all, it was someone else. She even told them that she told me when we lived away.. and that I had my husband put in jail for 2 days. Talk about a lie!!!!! Her statements were no longer than 2 or 3 sentences... I told her that she had to write EVERYTHING that happened, that was said.. all of it. She rolled her eyes at me. I told her.. you don't understand what you're doing. If he threw you down and forced you, WRITE IT DOWN! She said.. MOM! It didn't happen like THAT! Next thing I know.. she wrote down that he forced her.

They questioned her for 2 hours and she said in front of all of us that she lied. I got to go get my husband out of jail. He was in a holding cell for 72 hours. When we got home, she RAN to him, hugged him and told him she was sorry.
My husband looked at her and said... *****, I love you very much and I'm here to help you... I forgive you.. but I haven't forgotten.

So, she had to write a statement about why she lied... I call a therapist and we go the following Saturday. Ok.. everythings fine. We go this past Friday... again, everythings fine.. or so I thought!

I'm at work and Mom calls me to tell me I'm supposed to call the DCS worker. I do.. and she wants me, my daughter & husband to meet her at the welfare place to "finish some statements". Immediately, I had a knot in my stomach.. started crying... wanted to throw up. I get home and we're all a nervous wreck. Again. Except for my daughter.

On our way out, I ask my daughter if she knows whats going on. She says... ok.. ****, I'm sorry... but this is what happened... Dr. J kept asking me over and over and over and over again if you raped me. I kept saying no, nothing happened. Finally, I said yes something happened so he'd shut up.

We show up where we're supposed to at 7pm and DCS worker comes out to say.. now they want us to go up there.. they must be afraid of the rain. And she laughs. I said.. go where? She says.. sheriffs office.

WHAT?

So we go.... a deputy comes out to meet us and takes me, daughter & DCS worker to a back room. Here we go AGAIN! Daughter tells them that nothing ever happened and she told Dr. J that something did so he'd stop asking her questions. Evidently, before she told him "yes", he was telling her that my husband is a monster, he shouldn't be living with us and that he should rot away forever. She said she told him no no no and that she loves him and we're a family.

Tomorrow, we have a court date. My daughter has 2 counts against her for lying.. 2 weeks ago. I don't know what'll happen regarding this past Friday. They want my husband and daughter to take polygraph tests.

We've been told by numerous people not to. She admitted she lied... 3 times. So, what do I do? We can't afford a lawyer so we're going to pay the $25 and get a court appointed one. I need one to fight for my husband.. even tho he was NEVER charged.. I think I'll need one for my daughter... and I need one to keep my family together.

I just don't know what to do. My husband is the most wonderful person in this world. My daughter has a very long history of lying, stealing, defiance, everything almost. She's ADD and possibly something more.

Everyone thinks we should find a new therapist... one that doesn't know about all of this. Advice? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Quote:

---

She's ADD and possibly something more.

---

What is the "possibly something more"? Who diagnosed her? Has you daughter ever had a complete psychological evaluation by a Nero-psychologist? What kind of counseling have you provided for her issues to date? Have she been seeing a rape counselor?

I've been in lengthy contact with my daughters schools' psychiatrist and psychologists. We had a meeting last Thursday and I filled out extensive paperwork & whatnot.. and with them and her regular doctor, the possibilites of bipolar and multiple personalities have popped up. We're not done with the testings yet.. but we're getting there. Sure is a slow progress.

She's had counseling in the past and this has never come up.. the therapist she goes to now practices in teens, sexual tendencies, abuse and things of that nature. The first time my daughter saw him.. 2 weeks ago... without asking her anything he said... you shouldn't be living with your family.

To me.. that is wrong, wrong, wrong. We are doing everything under the sun and then some to do what we can for my daughter. We all support her in everyway possible. But I just don't understand the lies. The 100%, without a doubt, lies.

I'm so worried about losing my family. I'm fighting so hard and just don't know where to turn.

a minor being asked to take polygraph!? Maybe I am wrong but I thought minors didn't take polygraphs?

The police aren't completely convinced that your daughter is lying about the accusations, as opposed to lying about her retraction. They want polygraph results to get some additional sense of which of your daughter's stories is actually the lie. Your husband should consult a criminal defense lawyer, as he's obviously still to some degree a suspect. My guess is that his lawyer will say, "Decline the polygraph."

I think what gets me most is this.. when we had to go out again this past Friday, the DCS worker and both deputies said.. "We have to do this even tho we know she's lying and we apologize for this again". That bothers me more than anything.

Quote:

---

Quoting jstone71

---

I think what gets me most is this.. when we had to go out again this past Friday, the DCS worker and both deputies said.. "We have to do this even tho we know she's lying and we apologize for this again". That bothers me more than anything.

---

Why would this bother you? It should bring a beacon of hope. If the POLICE think she's lying, I doubt he will be charged with this crime.

As for you daughter... well, maybe she should spend a few weeks in jail to think about this?

First off, DO NOTtake the polygraph. The police are fishing and because of nervousness your husband could fail it or it be inconclusive which means to the police that he may have done it but isn't stressing about it. Please hire a good defense attorney because even tho he has not been charged, the police are still gathering evidence and contemplating charges.

We've decided, after talking to numerous people, that my husband will not take the polygraph. He was never charged, we proved that my daughters stories were all lies. We feel there is no need at all. We go in front of the juvenile judge today. She has 2 counts of lying against her. I'm hoping we can talk with the judge and get some things settled. I just want this over.

Quote:

---

Quoting nite_riderusa

---

First off, DO NOTtake the polygraph. The police are fishing and because of nervousness your husband could fail it or it be inconclusive which means to the police that he may have done it but isn't stressing about it. Please hire a good defense attorney because even tho he has not been charged, the police are still gathering evidence and contemplating charges.

---

I have seen several cases like this, but I have also seen cases where a truly guilty person passed a polygraph. Thats why they are not admissible in a court of law.