Looking For A Change

Hello everyone. I have lurked here often trying to learn a little something, and decided to maybe see if I can get some advice.

I am 36 years old with two girls (12/17). I was married to my former wife for 16 years. Once we decided to get divorced I treated extremely well and walked away from almost everything. From day one I have paid every dime of my child support and in fact have gone above and beyond my 'legal' obligation, without a second thought. Sometimes putting the means of paying the bills behind the means of supporting my child.

I have been divorced now for 1 1/2 years. My divorce stipulates that we have joint custody and she has physical placement. She does not limit me to seeing the girls as often as I want.

Since I have gotten divorced I have purchased a house, gone into debit furnishing it so that i can provide a stable life style and gotten remarried. She on the other hand has remodeled her home and gone on a 2 week vacation to Florida with the girls and her boyfriend, while not getting paid for her leave at work. She is now working on purchasing a new home.

When we were divorced I agreed to pay about $100.00 more a month then I was legally obligated to, so that the girls could sustain the life style that they were accustomed to. At the time of my divorce I was making about $10,000 more then I do now and she is making about $8000.00 MORE now.

I also pay the insurance and the girls cell phone bill. A grand total of around $1500.00 per month. All of this will I struggle to make it and my ex-wife seemingly has plenty of funds to do as she wishes.

I told my ex at the time of the divorce that once I have a stable situation (home, furniture, etc.) that I would want to review our agreement and have a more equitable agreement.

My hopes are that we can have a situation where I have thee girls ever other week. And my child support all but disappears ( I know that is more unlikely).

Anyone have any thoughts?

Mike

Custody laws are different in each state, and you didn't identify where this is happening.

Other than your incomes, what changes have there been since the entry of the custody order which relate to the custodial situation.

Sorry folks!

I am living in Iowa as is she.

Other then our incomes changing other changes which may or may not be of any importance are:

• She has gotten a new job.

• I have changed jobs within the same company in order to make my schedule more suitable for a single parent.

• I have remarried and my current wife has a few medical conditions that add to the cost of living, but do not limit her to sharing parenting with my children

• My children's education has slipped on her priority list. I.E. my youngest daughter has gotten on each of her report cards this year the following note : Jenna will not dress for gym on a regular basis. She is very athletic and loves activity but forgets her gym clothes. My oldest daughter seems to have taken on my ex's philosophy that a D- is still passing so who cares.

• I just believe that the over all parenting level has slipped to a standard to which I do not and would never approve of.

Mike

An overview of Iowa's child custody law is provided here. "Custody and visitation orders may be modified if the court finds that a substantial change of circumstances has occurred." I don't know that the circumstances you describe constitute a "substantial change of circumstances", but an Iowa family lawyer will be much better able to make that assessment.