Not On The Birth Certificate - Do I Have Rights?

Here is my situation. I live in Mass. My ex had our son. We had a dna test (not through court). I paid for it, found out i was the father. She never put my name on the birth certificate. Things happened throughout the years and I have not seen my son. She now has a new boyfriend (about 3 years) my son is 4. My son thinks of him as his father, which is fine. He would do a better job than me. Anyways, last year her children were taken by dss for reasons. I received a letter from dss and told them i would take my son. They took him and his sister in march. I didnt receive a phone call till july. I went to court and they had no idea who I was, there was no record of my existance. Meanwhile, she was afraid that I was going to try to take him, so she put her fience's name on the birth certificate. She stated in court she didnt want anything from me and just wanted me out of his and her life. I agreed. A year later I received a email from her stating she wanted money from me. She wanted me to give up all rights and pay her outside of court 450 a month.. Is that possible to do. I am not on the birth certificate, I dont have any rights. And his name is on the birth certificate.. Can she still take me to court and demand money with having his name on the birth certificate?

She wants you to terminate your parental rights AND pay child support!?

Tell her, "Dream on, sister, dream on!"

Quote:

---

Quoting bmwtech4173

---

Here is my situation. I live in Mass. My ex had our son. We had a dna test (not through court). I paid for it, found out i was the father. She never put my name on the birth certificate. Things happened throughout the years and I have not seen my son. She now has a new boyfriend (about 3 years) my son is 4. My son thinks of him as his father, which is fine. He would do a better job than me. Anyways, last year her children were taken by dss for reasons. I received a letter from dss and told them i would take my son. They took him and his sister in march. I didnt receive a phone call till july. I went to court and they had no idea who I was, there was no record of my existance.

If they had no idea of who you were, how did you get the letter from DSS?

Meanwhile, she was afraid that I was going to try to take him, so she put her fience's name on the birth certificate.
That would be paternity fraud.

She stated in court she didnt want anything from me and just wanted me out of his and her life. I agreed. A year later I received a email from her stating she wanted money from me.
If it is not court ordered, do not send it to her.

She wanted me to give up all rights and pay her outside of court 450 a month..

Again, don't do it.

Is that possible to do. I am not on the birth certificate, I dont have any rights.

And his name is on the birth certificate.. Can she still take me to court and demand money with having his name on the birth certificate?

---

Why is it that you chose not to be a part of your child's life? You state that the boyfriend would be the better father, however while in their care DSS took the child away.

It is time to step up to the plate and be a father to your child.

It is conceivable that she could try to take you to court to establish your paternity and to get a support order, despite having wrongly identified her fiancé as the father. Such an action would occur in the state where the child lives - is that also Massachusetts?

Yes we are both in massachusetts. The reason why I havnt jumped in, is because I see my son very happy with both of them and do not want to confuse him. They were taken by dss because she left them unattended for a period of over an hour. They found out because the children were throwing their toys out the house window. She still wants me to pay back pay but does not want to go through court for it. She wants cash in hand, and never wants me in the picture. I suggested I would set up a mutual fund for him and when he turns 18 he can have what ever is in there. But she disagreed, said it was a bad idea and wanted cash in hand. I told her that we should settle this through court and she flipped out saying she is going to do everything in her power so i can never see him, pay her for at least back pay, and give up all rights. But since I was never on the birth certificate, and she stated before court last year she and her boyfriend put his name on it so I couldnt take my son from her. She said it was suppost to be the paternal father but she said they filled it out anyway. I am guessing that would be fraud. So she said she is going to take me to court and Im going to have to pay her at least 40k. Note: I am an auto mechanic. Does that sound correct

Ok, this is called "Shock collar training", and here's how it works....
Tell her under NO circumstances, will she get a dime from you, unless it is ordered through the courts.
You have a DNA test proving you are the father.
The 40k is a load of BS.
It's is HIGHLY unlikely she will be awarded back support. That is very very VERY rare in Mass. More than likely, she will be awarded support only from the time she files.
Basically, she is trying to buy your silence.
you have 2 options....
Pay her and take your chances that she actually will leave you alone ( which will not happen)
or
Be prepared to be a father to your son.
Don't sell yourself short. If you want to be a father, you CAN be a father. It takes work, determination, and practice.
Your baby is 4, and has his whole life ahead of him. I'm sure he would want to know his REAL father.
By the time he's 6, he will have forgotten what life was like before you came into his life.
DSS took the kid man. That's a red flag.
I don't know how old the other child is, but you sure as hell don't leave a 4 year old home without an adult.
Let her know, that as the bio dad, you will be entitled to 50/50 custody (eventually, after you slowly work your way into the kids life)
If you want more detailed instructions on how the messed up commonwealth court system works, message me.
I am going back in pro se myself next week.( again )
My "shock collar training" has been going on for 2 years now.
Don't give her a dime until you go into court.

But she does not want me to be anywhere in the picture. I came to that. That is ok with me. But where does that leave me? That is why she put her fience's name on the birth certificate. Doesnt that give him the rights and me none. If I decide not to do anything about the paternity test and we go to court, can she get any money out of me? All I want is to never see her again. (I know it sounds bad, but she is a wack job) What would the judge say, she wants back support at least, Im not on the birth certificate, nor am I fighting to put my name on it. Where does that leave me?

Quote:

---

Quoting bmwtech4173

---

But she does not want me to be anywhere in the picture. I came to that. That is ok with me. But where does that leave me? That is why she put her fience's name on the birth certificate. Doesnt that give him the rights and me none. If I decide not to do anything about the paternity test and we go to court, can she get any money out of me? All I want is to never see her again. (I know it sounds bad, but she is a wack job) What would the judge say, she wants back support at least, Im not on the birth certificate, nor am I fighting to put my name on it. Where does that leave me?

---

If she doesn't want you in the picture then she won't go to court. If the current boyfriend is really on the birth certificate (do you know for a fact that he is on the BC) then he is the one responsible for the child until paternity is proved otherwise. She could take you to court for a paternity test even if you don't pursue it. But she would have alot of explaining to do, etc. DO NOT give her ANY money (let alone cash - RED FLAG). What's to stop here from taking you to court even after you give her the money. Nothing. She is trying to rattle your cage. Tell her the only way she is getting a penny from you is if she takes it to court. The courts will not order you to pay any amount of child support given the current circumstances. Call her bluff and see what happens. My ex did the same thing (pay me cash and I won't go to court for child support). I made it go to court. She assumed she would get all this 'extra' money and she got only what she was legally entitled to (she's still fuming about it). In the event you ended up in court - you would not be given ANY credit for the money you gave directly to her (so DO NOT give her a penny). Tell her to get it from the boyfriend or go to court. Think twice about not getting involved in your child's life (someday he/she will find out who you are and have lots of questions). I would be very concerned about my child being left alone for 15 min (never mind over an hour). What if the child fell out of the window, etc. Just something to think about. Good luck.

Thank you all for the help.. The last email I sent her stated I would prefer going through court. Until then I will not be giving her anymoney. She flipped out. I dont know why :) . Im guessing she was trying to scare me and tell me how much money I would be paying for a laywer, court fees, and the back pay of upto and maybe more than 40k. She has never filed any papers for court. There was one time she took me to court for child support, but she never showed up for it, so it was dismissed. Then another time but the last minute cancelled it. I have only been to court 2x. One time she didnt show up, the second was for the dss, and they didnt know how I got my son, considering they had no idea who I was. They said the child should have remained in dss custody becuause there was no proof that I was the father. (although I have a dna test) but the courts do not know about it. So I guess Im going to have to wait for her to take me to court, but I have a feeling she wont. She wrote in her email that she put her fience's name on the birth certificate (both signed it) and was waiting to hear back from them. She also stated that it said it had to be the paternal father, but she said she put her his name on it anyways. When I talked to dss last year they stated I was def not on the birth certificate, and that my ex told them that her fience was. So I think she is scared to bring me to court knowing well that she commited fraud. So I dont know. we will just have to see. Like I said, since Im not on the birth certificate, i dont have any rights. In order to get rights, I would have to take her to court and show the judge the dna test. Correct? Until then, if her fience is on the birth certificate, he is now responsible?

Quote:

---

Quoting bmwtech4173

---

Thank you all for the help.. The last email I sent her stated I would prefer going through court. Until then I will not be giving her anymoney. She flipped out. I dont know why :) . Im guessing she was trying to scare me and tell me how much money I would be paying for a laywer, court fees, and the back pay of upto and maybe more than 40k. She has never filed any papers for court. There was one time she took me to court for child support, but she never showed up for it, so it was dismissed. Then another time but the last minute cancelled it. I have only been to court 2x. One time she didnt show up, the second was for the dss, and they didnt know how I got my son, considering they had no idea who I was. They said the child should have remained in dss custody becuause there was no proof that I was the father. (although I have a dna test) but the courts do not know about it. So I guess Im going to have to wait for her to take me to court, but I have a feeling she wont. She wrote in her email that she put her fience's name on the birth certificate (both signed it) and was waiting to hear back from them. She also stated that it said it had to be the paternal father, but she said she put her his name on it anyways. When I talked to dss last year they stated I was def not on the birth certificate, and that my ex told them that her fience was. So I think she is scared to bring me to court knowing well that she commited fraud. So I dont know. we will just have to see. Like I said, since Im not on the birth certificate, i dont have any rights. In order to get rights, I would have to take her to court and show the judge the dna test. Correct? Until then, if her fience is on the birth certificate, he is now responsible?

---

In order to get rights, you will have to take a court ordered paternity test. The one that was previously taken, probably wont be admissible in court. You have nothing to worry about until it goes to court other than the fact that the child may be being neglected.