Minor Facing Charges From Two Offenses

My minor child was ticketed for tobacco in April. Then was arrested for shoplifting in May. A letter came with the court day (for the tobacco ticket) with this Friday as the date.
If I understand Michigan law, the courts will assign the same judge/referee to each family. We have no previous involvement with the court system or with legal problems.
On Friday should we only offer correct and honest information about the tobacco ticket or should we explain the additional retail fraud arrest (3rd degree first time) based on the likely hood that this same referee will handle the retail fraud when it comes up. I don't want them mad that we knew and didn't tell/were not honest with them.
There is a slim chance that the retailer might withdraw/drop their complaint. Today I also got a letter from them demanding $200 for civil expenses (which is legal for them to do). One person (criminal lawyer) I spoke with was of the mind that after getting their money they might drop the whole thing. That is more expense and bother to them than it is worth.
I read that it is the DA who presses the charges and the retailer has no say so.
My questions are:
1. should we explain the retail fraud on Friday knowing there is a very tiny chance (?) it might be dropped?
2. Can the retailer chose to not press charges?
thank you for your time.

find out if charges were even filed first

in regards to the retail fraud-"find out if the charges were filed first"
1. how do I do that
2. filed or not won't the judge/referee be displeased once they are filed/referee realizes we knew and didn't say a word about the retail fraud (on Friday the tobacco ticket)

if filed then be clear, honest and admit everything (the store has her on video tape putting items in her bag)
if not filed then don't tell unless asked
I'm thinking these are what you would recommend?

thank you for your time

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Quoting honestparent

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in regards to the retail fraud-"find out if the charges were filed first"
1. how do I do thatCall court see if charges were filed
2. filed or not won't the judge/referee be displeased once they are filed/referee realizes we knew and didn't say a word about the retail fraud (on Friday the tobacco ticket)If no charges are currently filed there is no reason to tell judge

if filed then be clear, honest and admit everything (the store has her on video tape putting items in her bag)
if not filed then don't tell unless asked
I'm thinking these are what you would recommend?

thank you for your time

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You need to consult with a criminal defense Attorney

This is in juvenile court, right? How old is your child?

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Quoting honestparent

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1. should we explain the retail fraud on Friday knowing there is a very tiny chance (?) it might be dropped?

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I would be surprised if charges were dropped, but I can't rule out the possibility.

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Quoting honestparent

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2. Can the retailer chose to not press charges?

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If, as you say, an arrest occurred, it's now in the hands of the prosecutor. The store could convey its wishes to the prosecutor, but they don't control the charging decision.

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Quoting aaron

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This is in juvenile court, right? How old is your child?
The child is 16

I would be surprised if charges were dropped, but I can't rule out the possibility.

If, as you say, an arrest occurred, it's now in the hands of the prosecutor. The store could convey its wishes to the prosecutor, but they don't control the charging decision.

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Yes, she was handcuffed, taken to police station, held and booked. I agree that the retailer has no say now as to pressing charges or not.
It seems that after checking if charges have been filed, our best path is to come clean, let her explain the what happen and what she is doing to address it now. She attends C.A.S.A. a support group for shoplifters. I found them on the web and it has been the best thing we have done. She has been able to talk with people who are of all ages, backgrounds and experiences.

The NASP has a excellent shoplifter program that is recognized by many courts

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Quoting panther10758

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The NASP has a excellent shoplifter program that is recognized by many courts

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Again thank you for your time,

NASP? I don't know what/who they are.

One of the problems resolved it's self;
today's mail brought a letter from family division juvenile with a date for a conference with a referee on the retail fraud charge. I have asked for various letters of support for our child, have their report cards and proof I have paid the civil expense cost. Other than being honest I don't think there is much more to be done. A guilty plea on both the tobacco and stealing and hope the referee is able to be a fair judge. The goal is no conviction on record, to get it diverted from the court.

I found it,

National Assoc. of Shoplifting Prevention

thank you

Barbara Staib is a friend of mine from there