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Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name

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  • 01-07-2020, 01:28 PM
    Mermaidgirl
    Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Florida

    My divorce hearing is tomorrow. On the papers, I originally put that I wanted to go back to my maiden name. Now, I think I don’t. My lawyer says that to change the papers, my husband and I will have to resign and notarized everything again and it won’t be done by tomorrow. He also says that the court is NOT going to contact the SSA, IRS, DMV, etc. So, what if I just don’t do anything? If I don’t take the judgement to anyone to see, can I just keep my name as it is?
  • 01-07-2020, 01:36 PM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Mermaidgirl
    View Post
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Florida

    My divorce hearing is tomorrow. On the papers, I originally put that I wanted to go back to my maiden name. Now, I think I don’t. My lawyer says that to change the papers, my husband and I will have to resign and notarized everything again and it won’t be done by tomorrow. He also says that the court is NOT going to contact the SSA, IRS, DMV, etc. So, what if I just don’t do anything? If I don’t take the judgement to anyone to see, can I just keep my name as it is?


    Doing that may not cause a problem now but down the road, it might. With the increased security that goes along with IDs today, it would be wishful thinking to assume it wouldn't cause a problem down the road.
  • 01-07-2020, 01:41 PM
    llworking
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Mermaidgirl
    View Post
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Florida

    My divorce hearing is tomorrow. On the papers, I originally put that I wanted to go back to my maiden name. Now, I think I don’t. My lawyer says that to change the papers, my husband and I will have to resign and notarized everything again and it won’t be done by tomorrow. He also says that the court is NOT going to contact the SSA, IRS, DMV, etc. So, what if I just don’t do anything? If I don’t take the judgement to anyone to see, can I just keep my name as it is?

    What does the paperwork say exactly about your name? Does it say that you "will" or you "must" revert to your maiden name or does it say that you "may" (in other words you can if you want) change to your maiden name?

    You are not the first person I have known of that changed their mind after the fact and did not go through with changing back to their maiden name.
  • 01-07-2020, 01:56 PM
    Mermaidgirl
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    What does the paperwork say exactly about your name? Does it say that you "will" or you "must" revert to your maiden name or does it say that you "may" (in other words you can if you want) change to your maiden name?

    You are not the first person I have known of that changed their mind after the fact and did not go through with changing back to their maiden name.

    This is what the consent final judgment says that the judge is supposed to sign:

    The Wife’s former name XXX is restored. Hereafter, the Wife shall be known as XXXXXX.
  • 01-07-2020, 02:02 PM
    llworking
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Mermaidgirl
    View Post
    This is what the consent final judgment says that the judge is supposed to sign:

    The Wife’s former name XXX is restored. Hereafter, the Wife shall be known as XXXXXX.

    If the judge signs off on that then its a court order that you are required to follow. Your lawyer says its not a problem if you don't, and I know of people who changed their minds and had no problems, but as PayrollGuy says we cannot know what technology will be like 50 years from now and whether or not somehow, someday that court order would get linked with the SSN, DMV etc.
  • 01-07-2020, 02:27 PM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    It isn't even 50 years that you need to worry about. It could happen at any time.
  • 01-07-2020, 03:15 PM
    pg1067
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Mermaidgirl
    View Post
    My divorce hearing is tomorrow.

    In the context of any given case there may be many hearings. What is the purpose of the hearing tomorrow?


    Quote:

    Quoting Mermaidgirl
    View Post
    On the papers, I originally put that I wanted to go back to my maiden name. Now, I think I don’t. My lawyer says that to change the papers, my husband and I will have to resign and notarized everything again and it won’t be done by tomorrow.

    What specific "papers" are you talking about, and what does your lawyer say you would have to re-sign ("resign" means something else, FYI)?


    Quote:

    Quoting Mermaidgirl
    View Post
    So, what if I just don’t do anything?

    It's impossible to provide any sort of intelligent response to this without knowing the purpose of the hearing tomorrow and what papers you're talking about.

    By the way, why aren't you addressing your questions to your attorney?
  • 01-07-2020, 03:50 PM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting pg1067
    View Post
    In the context of any given case there may be many hearings. What is the purpose of the hearing tomorrow

    Based on OP's concern that is what name she will be known as (after the divorce), I would guess that this is the final hearing on the divorce and the court will voir dire the parties as to their agreement with the settlement of divorce agreed to by the parties. The court could change what name she will be known as if the parties agree. Not complicated.

    Quote:

    Quoting pg1067
    View Post
    What specific "papers" are you talking about, and what does your lawyer say you would have to re-sign ("resign" means something else, FYI)?

    If the settlement agreement was signed with OP asking to retain her maiden name and now wants to change that, she may have to sign a new settlement agreement or the court could just place it in the final decree. Again, not complicated.
  • 01-07-2020, 03:58 PM
    Mermaidgirl
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Tomorrow is the final hearing. The papers we would have to sign would be the consent final judgment, we are having a simplified uncontested dissolution of marriage. I asked my lawyer, he said that he does not know. If I don’t tell anyone, he says the court will not tell anyone. But he can’t say anything other than that.

    Quote:

    Quoting pg1067
    View Post
    In the context of any given case there may be many hearings. What is the purpose of the hearing tomorrow?




    What specific "papers" are you talking about, and what does your lawyer say you would have to re-sign ("resign" means something else, FYI)?




    It's impossible to provide any sort of intelligent response to this without knowing the purpose of the hearing tomorrow and what papers you're talking about.

    By the way, why aren't you addressing your questions to your attorney?

    Tomorrow is the final hearing. The papers we would have to sign would be the consent final judgment, we are having a simplified uncontested dissolution of marriage. I asked my lawyer, he said that he does not know. If I don’t tell anyone, he says the court will not tell anyone. But he can’t say anything other than that.

    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    Based on OP's concern that is what name she will be known as (after the divorce), I would guess that this is the final hearing on the divorce and the court will voir dire the parties as to their agreement with the settlement of divorce agreed to by the parties. The court could change what name she will be known as if the parties agree. Not complicated.



    If the settlement agreement was signed with OP asking to retain her maiden name and now wants to change that, she may have to sign a new settlement agreement or the court could just place it in the final decree. Again, not complicated.

    Correct, however my lawyer says that both my husband and I would have to sign the papers, and he no longer lives in the same state so it would not get done before the hearing tomorrow.
  • 01-07-2020, 10:07 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Your name will not be changed unless you take the court documents to the DMV, SSA, etc and request to have your name changed. The courts, nor any individual do this for you. You have to do it yourself and it is usually time consuming.
  • 01-08-2020, 07:14 AM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Mercy&Grace
    View Post
    Your name will not be changed unless you take the court documents to the DMV, SSA, etc and request to have your name changed. The courts, nor any individual do this for you. You have to do it yourself and it is usually time consuming.

    Actually her name will be legally changed. She just won't have an ID that matches her legal name if she doesn't take the court documents to the various agencies.
  • 01-08-2020, 09:09 AM
    llworking
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting PayrolGuy
    View Post
    Actually her name will be legally changed. She just won't have an ID that matches her legal name if she doesn't take the court documents to the various agencies.

    The government won't recognize the name change until its changed with the SSA.
  • 01-08-2020, 09:28 AM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    The government won't recognize the name change until its changed with the SSA.

    Her legal name will be her maiden name because a judge says so. Her SS name and all of her ID will be in a name that is NOT her legal name. The point being is we don't know what problems that may cause down the road.
  • 01-08-2020, 11:54 AM
    cbg
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    The government won't recognize the name change until its changed with the SSA.

    Maybe in Indiana they won't. In MA the government doesn't give a damn which agency you change it with first.
  • 01-08-2020, 02:53 PM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    We are talking about changing the name from her marital name to her maiden name in a devoice decree. If the court allows her to keep her married name, then she has to do nothing.

    I don't imagine that the court would deny her keeping her married name. So if she gets through the final hearing, she will be known by her married name going forward. And she doesn't have to change anything with the SSA or DMV.
  • 01-08-2020, 03:07 PM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    We are talking about changing the name from her marital name to her maiden name in a devoice decree. If the court allows her to keep her married name, then she has to do nothing.

    I don't imagine that the court would deny her keeping her married name. So if she gets through the final hearing, she will be known by her married name going forward. And she doesn't have to change anything with the SSA or DMV.

    The OP wrote, "My lawyer says that to change the papers, my husband and I will have to resign and notarized everything again and it won’t be done by tomorrow."

    In other words, the OP's lawyer has told her what she and her husband will have to do for her to keep her married name and she is asking what about just ignoring the order.
  • 01-08-2020, 04:36 PM
    llworking
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting cbg
    View Post
    Maybe in Indiana they won't. In MA the government doesn't give a damn which agency you change it with first.

    Actually I should have specified the federal government. The feds won't recognize the name change until it has been changed with the SSA. However, I bet the MA Department of Taxation or Revenue does care about it being changed with the SSA first as well. Other departments might not, but I bet that one does.
  • 01-08-2020, 06:20 PM
    cbg
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    I hope you didn't bet the rent on it. Because you'd lose.

    On point experience.
  • 01-08-2020, 06:39 PM
    llworking
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting cbg
    View Post
    I hope you didn't bet the rent on it. Because you'd lose.

    On point experience.

    So MA doesn't reject tax returns when the last name and SSN don't match? I don't think I have had that happened with an MA tax return (name and SSN mismatch) because I do so few of them, but every other state I am familiar with if the federal return rejects for an SSN and name mismatch the state rejects as well.

    I could see it not rejecting for payroll purposes.
  • 01-09-2020, 06:49 AM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting PayrolGuy
    View Post
    The OP wrote, "My lawyer says that to change the papers, my husband and I will have to resign and notarized everything again and it won’t be done by tomorrow."

    In other words, the OP's lawyer has told her what she and her husband will have to do for her to keep her married name and she is asking what about just ignoring the order.

    It's not the court order she would be ignoring if the judge allows here to keep her married name. And I am skeptical that a final settlement agreement has to be resigned by the parties if the judge makes a decision for her to keep her name.

    All she has to do is ask the judge and since her Ex is not present to object, she should get her request. In my divorce decree, it is one sentence. Plaintiff will be known by her madden name. She takes the final judgment of divorce to whatever agency and her name was changed to her madden name. Not complicated.

    What I don't understand is how the husband is not required to be present at the final hearing for the voir dire .
  • 01-09-2020, 07:02 AM
    llworking
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    It's not the court order she would be ignoring if the judge allows here to keep her married name. And I am skeptical that a final settlement agreement has to be resigned by the parties if the judge makes a decision for her to keep her name.

    All she has to do is ask the judge and since her Ex is not present to object, she should get her request. In my divorce decree, it is one sentence. Plaintiff will be known by her madden name. She takes the final judgment of divorce to whatever agency and her name was changed to her madden name. Not complicated.

    What I don't understand is how the husband is not required to be present at the final hearing for the voir dire .

    When I got divorced neither one of us ever was in court. The attorneys handled everything.
  • 01-09-2020, 07:08 AM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    It's not the court order she would be ignoring if the judge allows here to keep her married name. And I am skeptical that a final settlement agreement has to be resigned by the parties if the judge makes a decision for her to keep her name.

    All she has to do is ask the judge and since her Ex is not present to object, she should get her request. In my divorce decree, it is one sentence. Plaintiff will be known by her madden name. She takes the final judgment of divorce to whatever agency and her name was changed to her madden name. Not complicated.

    What I don't understand is how the husband is not required to be present at the final hearing for the voir dire .

    Your decree or how you think the judge will do things doesn't matter. It is idiotic on your part to argue the part of the issue that has already been communicated to the OP by her lawyer. First, you don't have the information that the lawyer has. Second, you aren't qualified to argue it and finally, that wasn't the question the OP asked.
  • 01-09-2020, 07:35 AM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting PayrolGuy
    View Post
    Your decree or how you think the judge will do things doesn't matter. It is idiotic on your part to argue the part of the issue that has already been communicated to the OP by her lawyer. First, you don't have the information that the lawyer has. Second, you aren't qualified to argue it and finally, that wasn't the question the OP asked.

    Well thank you for that well thought out response. Do you want to make a bet that she retains her married name?

    And pretty much your aren't qualified to post much of anything that actually deals with the law. All just a lay opinion. But pump yourself up. Irrelevant.
  • 01-09-2020, 12:40 PM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    Well thank you for that well thought out response. Do you want to make a bet that she retains her married name?

    And pretty much your aren't qualified to post much of anything that actually deals with the law. All just a lay opinion. But pump yourself up. Irrelevant.

    You clearly have reading and/or reading comprehension issues. But we knew that.
  • 01-09-2020, 02:26 PM
    cbg
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Actually I should have specified the federal government. The feds won't recognize the name change until it has been changed with the SSA. However, I bet the MA Department of Taxation or Revenue does care about it being changed with the SSA first as well. Other departments might not, but I bet that one does.

    I've been married a few months short of 15 years and I haven't changed my name with the MA Dept of Revenue yet. And it was the SSA that told me it didn't matter whether I changed my name with the Feds or the state first.

    At the same time, I made sure that all the name changes had taken place with state agencies, Federal agencies and my employers before I filed any tax returns. I bet not even Indiana cares what order you do them in as long as it's all done before you file a tax return.
  • 01-09-2020, 02:42 PM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting PayrolGuy
    View Post
    You clearly have reading and/or reading comprehension issues. But we knew that.

    You're like a bully in the playground. If you have nothing constructive or something related to the law to say, then just be quiet. I'm not interested in playing your games.
  • 01-09-2020, 02:57 PM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    You're like a bully in the playground. .

    You are the one that told the OP to ignore her lawyer.
  • 01-09-2020, 03:05 PM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    No I did not tell her to ignore her lawyer. I said that she should ask the judge about her name at the final hearing. That is what I said.
  • 01-09-2020, 03:33 PM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    No I did not tell her to ignore her lawyer. I said that she should ask the judge about her name at the final hearing. That is what I said.

    Her lawyer told her what would need to be done.
  • 01-10-2020, 10:21 AM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    You can bow down to the lawyer. But the judge can do what the court decides. If OP were speaking about child support, alimony, division of property or custody, then maybe a new agreement would be necessary. But a name change? I don't think so.
  • 01-10-2020, 10:34 AM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting budwad
    View Post
    You can bow down to the lawyer. But the judge can do what the court decides. If OP were speaking about child support, alimony, division of property or custody, then maybe a new agreement would be necessary. But a name change? I don't think so.

    budwad, it is the fracking paperwork that has already been signed. The whole point is the paperwork would have to be redone and signed by everyone involved.
  • 01-10-2020, 10:58 AM
    budwad
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    And I'll say it again that the court can change it at the final hearing if there is no objection by the parties. It happens all the time when the papers have be signed and one of the parties wants to change something. The court is not going to postpone the hearing because one party or the other wants to change something that doesn't impact the overall settlement. What a party is know by after the divorce is a very very small thing to the court.
  • 01-10-2020, 12:02 PM
    PayrolGuy
    Re: Can I Change My Mind and Keep My Married Name
    You can say that as many times as you like. But the OP's lawyer who actually practices in the court in question says she can't.
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