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Ex Takes Me to Court Annually to Get Child Support Returned

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  • 09-22-2018, 08:40 PM
    Who Knows?
    Ex Takes Me to Court Annually to Get Child Support Returned
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

    Every year for the past 3 years (and multiple times before) my ex (a convicted abuser) files a petition with Family Court to change the child support order.
    He tries to argue that the initial decision, made 9-10 years ago, was wrong - even though he appealed that decision and lost.
    He's kind of stupid and doesn't understand this, even when judge after judge has explained this to him. You can visibly see their frustration.

    One year ago, when he retired, the order was amended from $140 a month, to $25 a month, the minimum amount.
    But he owes arrears around $5,000 so the NYS Child Support Collection Unit takes out more - I get a bit over $100 a month.
    I have no control over the NYS Child Support Collection Unit's decision of how much to garner, and even the judge had said that this is out of her control.

    Our now 20 yr-old daughter is disabled, she cannot stay alone safely. Attending court means I have to leave her alone, since I have no family or friends nearby to stay with her. Court usually requires 3 to 4 visits, since he is never prepared (doesn't have paperwork, requests a translator even though he speaks English, doesn't show up).

    Questions:
    1. Can I bring my 20 year old daughter to Family Court with me, instead of leaving her alone?
    2. Can I write the judge and ask to be excused, since the amount is as low as it can be and arrears have previously been appealed and denied, and leaving my daughter is a danger and hardship? Can you ever get out of attending?
    3. After years of this I consider that he is using this one method open to him to harass and exert control over me. Can I file a harassment charge with the court? Or will I have to continue going to court annually until he dies or the arrears are paid off?
    4. Once arrears are paid, can he file to get money back? That's part of this year's petition - he wants $20,000 back out of the total $29,000 total he has paid over her lifetime.

    Thanks for your help!
  • 09-22-2018, 09:31 PM
    llworking
    Re: Ex Takes Me to Court Annually to Get Child Support Returned
    Take your daughter with you to court instead of leaving her alone.

    No, he cannot get money back.
  • 09-22-2018, 09:49 PM
    adjusterjack
    Re: Ex Takes Me to Court Annually to Get Child Support Returned
    Quote:

    Quoting Who Knows?
    View Post

    1. Can I bring my 20 year old daughter to Family Court with me, instead of leaving her alone?

    Yes.

    Quote:

    Quoting Who Knows?
    View Post

    2. Can I write the judge and ask to be excused, since the amount is as low as it can be and arrears have previously been appealed and denied, and leaving my daughter is a danger and hardship? Can you ever get out of attending?

    3. After years of this I consider that he is using this one method open to him to harass and exert control over me. Can I file a harassment charge with the court? Or will I have to continue going to court annually until he dies or the arrears are paid off?

    You have to attend to protect yourself. He's obviously doing this in the hopes that you don't attend and he gets what he wants by default. I suggest you compile documents of all the other annual hearing and the results, hand them to the judge and ask the judge to fine him for abuse of process.

    Quote:

    Quoting Who Knows?
    View Post

    4. Once arrears are paid, can he file to get money back? That's part of this year's petition - he wants $20,000 back out of the total $29,000 total he has paid over her lifetime.

    He CAN file whatever he wants, but it's never going to happen.
  • 09-26-2018, 10:52 AM
    Who Knows?
    Re: Ex Takes Me to Court Annually to Get Child Support Returned
    Thank you for your help. It's much appreciated
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