Reporting a Suspected Stalker
My question involves criminal law for the state of: California
I have reasons to suspect that a store employee is stalking my teenaged daughter. Recently, he followed my family to our parking spot, far far away from the store, never once letting us know he was tagging behind us, or asking us if we needed help with the cart etc.
I reported the incident to the store manager who claimed that the employee "is very quiet", "doesn't talk much which may be why he didn't announce himself or ask if we wanted help" and probably "just wanted the cart back" etc. He did admit that the behavior was "strange" and just said he'd "talk to him".
We regularly shop this store and always return the carts at the nearest cart return even if a little further out from the store. In fact, in hindsight, I realize that he always seems to have followed us out and to our car even when we were parked near the store ! I don't understand why he had to get the carts only when we had finished shopping ? I also notice him hanging around the aisles where we shop but previously dismissed it as an employee just going about his job at his store.
After this recent incident, I am concerned that he may have noted our car license plate and find our address. We can't afford to move at this time so I immediately had a long conversation with my daughter about stalkers and personal safety with her. She got a good look at him and knows to not engage with this guy and that she immediately needs to let a trusted alone know if she spots him around, anywhere, including / especially her school.
Should I go to the cops ? My concern is that the cops may also dismiss this as "just an employee getting the carts back" like the manager tried to. I am mainly concerned because a year ago he asked me about my kids and I stupidly told him about where my daughter goes to school as we're both the same ethnicity (very rare where we live) and I just stupidly assumed he was being "friendly" and "introducing" himself. I just wish I had realized his intentions at the time and am very worried now.
Please advise ?
Re: Can I Report Someone Based on Suspicion
You don't know what his reasons or intentions are. You are projecting that he may have some kind of harmful intent based on fear because of that "strange" behavior. It is not illegal nor is it doing anyone in your family any harm for him to merely follow you out of the store for a couple of minutes. You may go to the police if you wish, but if all you have are these brief couple of minutes following you out in the parking lot there isn't anything the police can do about that.
Re: Can I Report Someone Based on Suspicion
An employee specifically a cart boy bing in the parking lot is not going to rise to the level of stalking.
How old is your daughter and the kid?
And he may well have been just being friendly.
The next time he does this I would suggest that you step away from your kids and very quietly and calmly telling him to stop following you and your kid.
Re: Can I Report Someone Based on Suspicion
If you ethnicity is rare in your area, he may just be trying to make a connection with someone familiar and doesn't know how/is socially awkward.
Re: Can I Report Someone Based on Suspicion
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ElCreepo
Should I go to the cops ? My concern is that the cops may also dismiss this as "just an employee getting the carts back" like the manager tried to. I am mainly concerned because a year ago he asked me about my kids and I stupidly told him about where my daughter goes to school as we're both the same ethnicity (very rare where we live) and I just stupidly assumed he was being "friendly" and "introducing" himself. I just wish I had realized his intentions at the time and am very worried now.
Does this happen EVERY time you and your daughter go to that store?
Next time he does it take out your camera phone and take his picture and tell him not to do it anymore. If he keeps doing it, keep taking his picture each time and report him again.
Or, shop someplace else.
Re: Can I Report Someone Based on Suspicion
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ElCreepo
Should I go to the cops ?
No.
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ElCreepo
I just wish I had realized his intentions at the time and am very worried now.
Nothing in your post suggests you have any idea what his intentions are now.
If you're not comfortable with this person's behavior, shop elsewhere.
Re: Can I Report Someone Based on Suspicion
There is no crime here. A call to the police might result only ina CAD entry or an informational report of a couple of lines, but no real investigation. There can be any number of reasons to explain his behavior, and none clearly criminal.
Re: Can I Report Someone Based on Suspicion
I used to suffer from a period of pretty heavy psychosis related to some PTSD I was experiencing. It’s not uncommon for people struggling with major mental illnesses to completely lack social/situational awareness and not understand that their behavior is suspect or out of line. There were a few cases where I was trying to be kind or make friends with people, and I wasn’t able to read the social cues that my behavior was perceived as stalkerish/harassing and not just friendly or playful. Sometimes it’s just best to let that person know it makes them uncomfortable, so they can recognize it themselves and maybe even correct the situation towards others as well.