Husband Oversensitive Over Spanking

I am a mother of two girls, 7 and 10. I constantly fight over my ex-husband (over the phone when we discuss money) on how to discipline them. Somehow it always comes up. He doesn't believe in spanking, and I do. He threatened to report me, even though they are MY children and a loving mother! Other than that he is a reasonable man. He says that spanking means that you only use your hand. However, I'm pretty sure this is not the case as long as it is not out of control and causes injuries. He grew up spoiled! I think he is trying to find a reason to get me in trouble and take the children away from me.

As long as one does not leave marks (e.g. bruises), it is acceptable, right?

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Quoting MotherofTwo75

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I am a mother of two girls, 7 and 10. I constantly fight over my ex-husband (over the phone when we discuss money) on how to discipline them. Somehow it always comes up. He doesn't believe in spanking, and I do. He threatened to report me, even though they are MY children and a loving mother! Other than that he is a reasonable man. He says that spanking means that you only use your hand. However, I'm pretty sure this is not the case as long as it is not out of control and causes injuries. He grew up spoiled! I think he is trying to find a reason to get me in trouble and take the children away from me.

As long as one does not leave marks (e.g. bruises), it is acceptable, right?

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Tell me what you consider to be a spanking?

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Quoting Baystategirl

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Tell me what you consider to be a spanking?

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I use a wooden spoon. It never bruises. My husband would probably be a permissive parent and let the kids walk all over him. He wants custody, and I'm afraid he'll do anything to get it! He doesn't deserve it.


In my title, I meant to type "ex-husband." We were divorced recently.

A WOODEN SPOON! My god your husband is right your abusive and should be reported! Yes a report can be filed and you can lose your children! You never hit a child with an object of any kind! Now we can debate spanking thats not the issue here your actions are clearly abusive! Give your husband the children for their own safety today!!!

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Quoting MotherofTwo75

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I use a wooden spoon. It never bruises. My husband would probably be a permissive parent and let the kids walk all over him. He wants custody, and I'm afraid he'll do anything to get it! He doesn't deserve it.


In my title, I meant to type "ex-husband." We were divorced recently.

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Wooden spoon is abuse an din case you editted your post I quoted it for all to see!

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Quoting MotherofTwo75

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I use a wooden spoon. It never bruises. My husband would probably be a permissive parent and let the kids walk all over him. He wants custody, and I'm afraid he'll do anything to get it! He doesn't deserve it.


In my title, I meant to type "ex-husband." We were divorced recently.

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Personally, I would agree with your husband. A wooden spoon is, in my opinion, going to far. LEGALLY, I don't think that you would be prosecuted for hitting your children on the butt with a wooden spoon. However, these are his children also, and you both need to come to an agreement on how to discipline them. Not physically disciplining your kids does not mean you have to let them walk all over you. Perhaps you both could attend counseling to work this out.

I would have to agree with Bay. Since the two of you are coparenting, you will have to come to an agreement about what is acceptable in the forms of discipline. I was spanked, I spank my son. I'm not a mass murderer, I don't believe my son will grow up to be one either (but the great spanking debate is for another forum at another time). You have to respect his feelings, he has to respect yours.

Would I consider a wooden spoon on the behind abuse? No. Probably not. A belt on the butt? Nope...not that either. Heck, kids in my family were spanked with much worse. All of came out just fine.

How the child came out is not the point. I have left out spanking issue because this is not spanking! This assault! the debate over spanking has nothing to do with this. Ask any CPS worker if using a wooden spoon is abuse or spanking in fact ask any parent of which there are at least three of us outside of OP all agree wooden spoon does not meet our description of spanking. At the very least this family belong sin counseling at the very worst this woman needs to be reported to Socail Services

When I was a kid in the U.K., a 'wooden spoon' seemed to be standard parenting equipment. :rolleyes:

I doubt that the use of a wooden spoon, of itself, would transform this to an abuse case. But my own experiences as a child and parent, I prefer non-violent discipline. That aside, my experience as a criminal defense lawyer and with protective services cases reminds me that some people have poor judgment when using objects to paddle their children, and it only takes one incident of "going too far" to have some very serious consequences.

Hitting a child with a wooden spoon can get you thrown in jail! Hitting anyone with that object can be considered a weapon. You would have a point if you hit the children with your hands, but a wooden spoon IS considered abuse. I am a reporting agent and would report you. And you would be arrested! This isn't a point to be argued; it's simple, go to your state's attorney and ask the question about abuse and the wooden spoon. You'll get your answer real fast.