Dispute Between Parents Over Where to Enroll a Child in Kindergarten

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kansas

Our daughter will be starting kindergarten in August. Both of us live in separate cities in separate counties. My husband and I moved to our current home in the same county but different city in Feb of 2017. My ex and his then fiance bought a house in a different city and county in Aug of 2017. My ex filed papers in Feb 2018 or March 2018 trying to get residential custody of our daughter.

A little backstory: we were never married and separated before our daughter was a year old. He lived over an hour away and so our daughter lived with me most of the time and I had residential custody with my ex having reasonable parenting time. When I met my husband in 2014 and became pregnant my ex decided to move back to his parents home and file for custody of our daughter. The court told him no and ordered us mediation. In mediation we came to the agreement that we would share 50/50 time with our daughter until she was to start kindergarten and then we would return to mediation/court and decide her school. Then the moves happened. We went to mediation and couldnt come to an agreement. I am a stay at home mom and wanted her to live and go to school where I live. He and his now wife both work full tie and wanted her to live and go to school where he lives.

Well he ended up having his mom and a notary sign a statement saying that he lives with them and will continue to live with them. That way our daughter will go to that school district. Neither of us currently live within that school district. He then enrolled her in school there and paid her enrollment fees without my consent or telling me. We have joint legal custody and our parenting agreement states that we are to make educational decisions together. He didnt tell me what he did until several days afterwards. I then went into the school and informed them that this decision was made without my knowledge and that our parenting plan states we are to make decisions together.

They said they were unaware of that and that they apologize. We go to court in a few days on July 12th. He obtained a lawyer and has made statements with the belief that he will "win" the case. For example, we plan to go on a vacation the first week in August. I have let him take our daughter on plenty of vacations and have never said no because I know our daughter enjoys these times away and has a lot of fun. And yet when I request a few days to go on a vacation with my family so that we can have fun with our daughter before school starts he tells me "i wont answer or make a decision about that specific email until after court this week."

He does have a lawyer and I do not. I am not sure if that matters.
Thank you,

Of course it matters. If you had an attorney you wouldn't be dealing with this issue. He doesn't get to delegate custody and if the child is not really residing with the grandparents, he's probably breaking the law by pretending she resides in a district she's not legally entitled to be enrolled in.

I suggest you DO get an attorney. At least send a letter to HIS attorney about the impropriety of the violation of the order or the fraud being perpetrated on the school district.

I don’t have the money to obtain an attorney. I mean we’re financially stable but everyone I’ve spoken to wants between $1500-$3000 upfront. My ex had used Kansas legal service back in 2015 and so I was told I cannot use them if the case includes him. And I don’t know any lawyers that take payments or do pro bono work. So I am pretty lost.

Plus his lawyer already knows about what he did. She doesn’t care and doesn’t acknowledge it. I’ve mentioned it twice now and she just glides over it like I never said anything.

If you are going up against a lawyer, you are at a significant disadvantage. Is there any way you can borrow money, max out credit cards, get a loan out of a 401K or some other retirement plan?

No, we have none of those options currently. What are my odds with the pros I listed for myself:
I stay home with a flexible schedule (whereas they both work full time),
she has siblings that are very upset every time she’s gone,my son will go to her room every times she’s gone and just cry to continue to call her name even when I say she’s at her dads (they have no other children),
We’ve had our home longer and plan to stay for a long time (they bought a house no even a year ago but are in the process of selling it with no plan except to live with his parents).
He also went against our parenting plan. We have joint legal custody and therefore are supposed to make decisions regarding education together. And yet, he went and endrolled her without my consent or knowledge.

What are the odds that this would come out in my favor?

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Quoting ashton.amari@yahoo.com

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No, we have none of those options currently. What are my odds with the pros I listed for myself:
I stay home with a flexible schedule (whereas they both work full time),
she has siblings that are very upset every time she’s gone,my son will go to her room every times she’s gone and just cry to continue to call her name even when I say she’s at her dads (they have no other children),
We’ve had our home longer and plan to stay for a long time (they bought a house no even a year ago but are in the process of selling it with no plan except to live with his parents).
He also went against our parenting plan. We have joint legal custody and therefore are supposed to make decisions regarding education together. And yet, he went and endrolled her without my consent or knowledge.

What are the odds that this would come out in my favor?

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If he has a lawyer you really need to find a way to get a lawyer. If you go up against a lawyer with no legal background...I would find a way to get the money.

If your ex- and his spouse own a home in another city, and live in that home, you should be able to find some admissible evidence that you can submit to a court to show where they actually live and that it's not with his mother.

It's not clear why dad would want the child enrolled in a city and school district other than that of his residence, or why he would defer custody to his mother. To the extent that he in fact plans to do so, you need to be prepared to prove your claims to the court.

Ok. But I can’t. I have less than 3 days. I’m trying to get ahold of someone just to get at least a consultation but I haven’t received any responses yet. So until that point, I’m asking what my odds are with everything I’ve mentioned.

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Quoting ashton.amari@yahoo.com

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Ok. But I can’t. I have less than 3 days. I’m trying to get ahold of someone just to get at least a consultation but I haven’t received any responses yet. So until that point, I’m asking what my odds are with everything I’ve mentioned.

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If you have done nothing to prepare for the court hearing that is to occur in three days, have accumulated no admissible evidence, and intend to appear without a lawyer while your ex- is represented, you have put yourself at a significant disadvantage.

Seriously -- with only three days to go? You're not going to fix this with a discussion in an online forum. Consult a lawyer.

I have gathered as much evidence as I possibly can. I’ve written down many things and had a lawyer write up my parenting plan and my response for his motion to modify parenting time. We had both planned to go to court and represent ourselves since we didn’t need his lawyer several years ago. I was told by a lawyer that I had a consultation with that our case didn’t warrant the need for lawyers. I was also told that my side held many pros.

Well then, good luck to you. But unless your ex- decides to suddenly change his story and admit that you're correct, you will need admissible evidence.