Underage Sex in Texas

I am the mother of a young 7th grader, she is 12. Her boyfriend is in the 8th grade but has been held back and I did not realize until very recently he turned 15 in December. A week ago he was caught sneaking out of our house and I called his mother. Later my daughter admitted to me that they had sex once about 1 month prior. He is already on probation for fighting at school. Instead of going straight to the police I went to his probation officer to try to get this child to stay away from my daughter and he called the police. My daughter has since been interviewed and admitted to the sexual encounter and has had a sexual assault exam.

I am really struggling with this one. I am struggling in two ways: 1) that my 12 yr. old is having sex at all, 2) that this 15 yr old child could be convicted of sexual assault of a child and be sent away possibly for a really long time.

If he is convicted as a juvenile will he have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life? Can I drop the charges since the wheels have already been put in motion. I don't want this child's life ruined, but by the same token I have to protect my daughter. I am so upset and confused, please help.

Excuse me?

You want to help the child molester who raped your daughter?

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The ball is in motion. You can't stop it. Depending on your state's policies you may be asked for your input on any plea agreement. That's where you can state your opinion about what should happen, should you wish.

You're correct that you have to protect your daughter. It's not your job to protect somebody else's kid from the consequences either of bad or negligent parenting, or the consequences of his own choices and actions. And that's even before noting that he's acting in a sexually predatory manner toward your child.

Will he have to register as a sex offender and if he does according to TX law will he have to register for the rest of his life if charged as a juvenile?

Honestly that is not your concern! You should be showing more concern on how this has and will effect your daughter! I can say this I have a 12 year old daughter and if this happened to my child we would be having a serious talk and more restrictions would be put on her. Far as the boy he is NOT my concern my concern is my daughter whatever the law does it does my child comes first. Thsi boy is clearly trouble already being on probation at 15. I can guarantee you the last thing I would be doing as a parent is worry about the animal that raped/molested my child!:wallbang:

Just so you all know...My daughter has had every restriction placed on her possible for about 9 weeks now. She has no access to the phone, tv, computer, or friends. The only time she leaves the house is church, school, and to go wherever I go. Prior to this we have caught her on the phone in the middle of the night so we hide our phone every night and password lock our computer. I go through her room and her backpack daily. I love this child more than life itself and I did not come here to be beaten up.

My struggle with this is because is is also a child. And while my child has had every opportunity she could ever want and parents who love and support her, he has not had those things. His father is dead and his single mother works in the evenings to support her children leaving an older sibling to watch over them which is obviously not a great option. I know I can't save the world, but what I hope for is that this child is able to find some help and some direction. Everyone here knows that know matter how much direction he finds if he has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life it won't matter.

My ultimate responsibility is to my child and I am fullu aware of that.

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Quoting panther10758

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Honestly that is not your concern! You should be showing more concern on how this has and will effect your daughter! I can say this I have a 12 year old daughter and if this happened to my child we would be having a serious talk and more restrictions would be put on her. Far as the boy he is NOT my concern my concern is my daughter whatever the law does it does my child comes first. Thsi boy is clearly trouble already being on probation at 15. I can guarantee you the last thing I would be doing as a parent is worry about the animal that raped/molested my child!:wallbang:

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How can you sit and say he rape/molested the girl, obviously it was on both of their parts, I mean the boy is 15, the girl is 12 more then likely about to turn 13, its in human nature. I mean really get over yourselves this is not 1960 and it definately isnt this boys fault all together. Rape/Molestation I think not, I think it was two young kids doing what kids at that age do. Learn to keep a tighter leash on your child and dont try to blame the other party for what she did also. You didnt say he forced her to have sex, you didnt say he broke in and held a knife to her, so how can you say it was rape? Hes not 25 and shes 12 the boy is 15 years old. How many of you here can say you were not making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend at this age? If you knew the boy was trouble then you should of made damn sure that he wasnt to come around your child before this ever happened.

Ok he gets slap on wrist because "you" (The Mother of his victim) says so. He spends a few weeks in jail or none at all gets community service then rapes and unwilling 12 year year old! Thank you very much! Your concern is your own child not her attacker your having pity for him I find appalling!

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Quoting rliming

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How can you sit and say he rape/molested the girl, obviously it was on both of their parts, I mean the boy is 15, the girl is 12 more then likely about to turn 13, its in human nature. I mean really get over yourselves this is not 1960 and it definately isnt this boys fault all together. Rape/Molestation I think not, I think it was two young kids doing what kids at that age do. Learn to keep a tighter leash on your child and dont try to blame the other party for what she did also. You didnt say he forced her to have sex, you didnt say he broke in and held a knife to her, so how can you say it was rape? Hes not 25 and shes 12 the boy is 15 years old. How many of you here can say you were not making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend at this age? If you knew the boy was trouble then you should of made damn sure that he wasnt to come around your child before this ever happened.

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Read the law its rape!

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Quoting rliming

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How can you sit and say he rape/molested the girl, obviously it was on both of their parts, I mean the boy is 15, the girl is 12 more then likely about to turn 13, its in human nature. I mean really get over yourselves this is not 1960 and it definately isnt this boys fault all together. Rape/Molestation I think not, I think it was two young kids doing what kids at that age do. Learn to keep a tighter leash on your child and dont try to blame the other party for what she did also. You didnt say he forced her to have sex, you didnt say he broke in and held a knife to her, so how can you say it was rape? Hes not 25 and shes 12 the boy is 15 years old. How many of you here can say you were not making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend at this age? If you knew the boy was trouble then you should of made damn sure that he wasnt to come around your child before this ever happened.

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It doesn't matter what you think. It only matters what the law thinks, and the law, like most reasonable human beings, calls it rape.

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Quoting rliming

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How can you sit and say he rape/molested the girl, obviously it was on both of their parts, I mean the boy is 15, the girl is 12 more then likely about to turn 13, its in human nature. I mean really get over yourselves this is not 1960 and it definately isnt this boys fault all together. Rape/Molestation I think not, I think it was two young kids doing what kids at that age do. Learn to keep a tighter leash on your child and dont try to blame the other party for what she did also. You didnt say he forced her to have sex, you didnt say he broke in and held a knife to her, so how can you say it was rape? Hes not 25 and shes 12 the boy is 15 years old. How many of you here can say you were not making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend at this age? If you knew the boy was trouble then you should of made damn sure that he wasnt to come around your child before this ever happened.

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Uh oh. I thought kids that age were making out with their teachers. EEKS! My mistake.

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Quoting rliming

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How can you sit and say he rape/molested the girl, obviously it was on both of their parts, I mean the boy is 15, the girl is 12 more then likely about to turn 13, its in human nature. I mean really get over yourselves this is not 1960 and it definately isnt this boys fault all together. Rape/Molestation I think not, I think it was two young kids doing what kids at that age do. Learn to keep a tighter leash on your child and dont try to blame the other party for what she did also. You didnt say he forced her to have sex, you didnt say he broke in and held a knife to her, so how can you say it was rape? Hes not 25 and shes 12 the boy is 15 years old. How many of you here can say you were not making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend at this age? If you knew the boy was trouble then you should of made damn sure that he wasnt to come around your child before this ever happened.

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She is about to turn 13 and at the time the trouble he was in didn't seem to be a huge deal. How many boys haven't been in at least one fight in their life? I have tried so many things to keep them apart. We have just bought another house and will be moving out of this school district. I just hope and pray that somehow some way something positive comes of this and right now I have absolutely no idea what that could ever be.

He was on probation for just fighting how naive are you!:wallbang:

Panther hate to say it you are an ass, She wasn't unwilling, if she were you can bet your ass I wouldn't feel this way. This kid isn't a pedafile. And may I remind you I know exactly what he is on probation for I have met with his probation officer. Naive is one thing I'm not which is how I caught her at all of this.

I rather be an @$$ than a poor example of a parent like I am seeing with you. shes 12!!! she isnt old enough to give concent it was rape! This 15 year old took her innocence!! If he was 25 would be ok if she said yes!? My God your a Mother act like one!

I won't allow a stranger who has no idea what I have been through with my child or what I have done to prevent this from happening judge me. My child is in counseling since all of this and I probably should be too. Whether you believe it or not it is not an easy thing to go through. Thank you for beating on someone who was already struggling. Appreciate it.

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Quoting sfinney76

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Panther hate to say it you are an ass, She wasn't unwilling, if she were you can bet your ass I wouldn't feel this way. This kid isn't a pedafile. And may I remind you I know exactly what he is on probation for I have met with his probation officer. Naive is one thing I'm not which is how I caught her at all of this.

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Under the law at 12 she CAN NOT give consent. She is not of an age that she can fully comprehend the consequences of having sex. That is why there is laws on this matter.
Since she can't legally give consent, it was rape.

And I too am baffled by your concern for this boy...bizarre...:(

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Quoting moburkes

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It doesn't matter what you think. It only matters what the law thinks, and the law, like most reasonable human beings, calls it rape.

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Oh its rape so if she was 15 and he was 12 she would be the one that did the rape? I mean people these days are ludicrous, How many of you here can say you actually waited till you were of legal age to have sex. Get real. Your going to ruin this childs life and emotionally scar your child because you didnt have the talk you should a long time ago with her. If the 15 year old boy didnt force her then it isnt rape, I mean you guys act like he hit her over the head and forced her in to it. She arranged to let him in her house, and let him in then took him to her room or whatever. So that right there is gonna look bad on her, all I am saying you dont ruin a CHILDS life for something that happened like this. It was both an indiscretion on each of them and both are to blame for it. Your daughter is just as much the instigator as he is and its human nature for teens to be like this if the communication was there then this wouldnt have happened period. I have 2 nephews age 18 and 13 and neither of them would sneak into a girls house and neither would have unprotected sex, because their parents have already talked to them about the situation. I have a 15 year old daughter and I have had the talk with her and she wouldnt have sex and if she did she knows about protection and to do it with someone she loves. But hey if you guys think a 15 year old that had consensual sex with his girlfriend raped her and the blames all on him then hey lynch him.

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Quoting sfinney76

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I won't allow a stranger who has no idea what I have been through with my child or what I have done to prevent this from happening judge me. My child is in counseling since all of this and I probably should be too. Whether you believe it or not it is not an easy thing to go through. Thank you for beating on someone who was already struggling. Appreciate it.

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It's good that she is in counseling. You should consider it as well if you believe it would be helpful.

As far as the boy, hopefully he will get locked up in juvie so he can receive some help. It appears his parents are not able to control him or he is simply out of control. He certainly should have known better.

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Quoting Baystategirl

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Under the law at 12 she CAN NOT give consent. She is not of an age that she can fully comprehend the consequences of having sex. That is why there is laws on this matter.
Since she can't legally give consent, it was rape.

And I too am baffled by your concern for this boy...bizarre...:(

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As everyone knows girls mature alot faster then boys, and I am sure that the boy didnt force her hand. I mean like I said she let him in her house. I am just saying the boys life shouldnt be ruined for something like this, if he had beat her or something like that then I could see the point but its not entirely his fault.

OP, what did you think the probation officer was going to do when you turned the kid in?

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Quoting sfinney76

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She is about to turn 13 and at the time the trouble he was in didn't seem to be a huge deal. How many boys haven't been in at least one fight in their life? I have tried so many things to keep them apart. We have just bought another house and will be moving out of this school district. I just hope and pray that somehow some way something positive comes of this and right now I have absolutely no idea what that could ever be.

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I dont know what you have been through, but you state it right here that you ALLOWED them to see each other. But your gonna drag this child and believe me he is still a child, no matter what you think, through the court system and virtually ruin his life forever. Cause believe me when I tell you once the court system has him, his life is pretty much shot. No military for him, no college no decent job. All because you allowed them to see each other in the first place. I am done trying to talk to someone that is as much to blame as the two of them.

Using this bizzare logic than age of consent for women should be 12 and 15 for men!:wallbang: Hes 15 and at 15 he knows much more than this 12 year old including how to manipulate! By the way I had my first sexualo encounter at 16 (age of consent for state I was in at time!) I am not saying the 12 year old played no role but she was not mature enough to make suchj decisions based on peer pressure from a 15 year old who is already a troublemaker!

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Quoting rliming

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I dont know what you have been through, but you state it right here that you ALLOWED them to see each other. But your gonna drag this child and believe me he is still a child, no matter what you think, through the court system and virtually ruin his life forever. Cause believe me when I tell you once the court system has him, his life is pretty much shot. No military for him, no college no decent job. All because you allowed them to see each other in the first place. I am done trying to talk to someone that is as much to blame as the two of them.

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This poster didn't ruin his life by reporting this crime. It sounds like the boy is doing a good job ruining his own life.

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Quoting panther10758

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Using this bizzare logic than age of consent for women should be 12 and 15 for men!:wallbang: Hes 15 and at 15 he knows much more than this 12 year old including how to manipulate! By the way I had my first sexualo encounter at 16 (age of consent for state I was in at time!) I am not saying the 12 year old played no role but she was not mature enough to make suchj decisions based on peer pressure from a 15 year old who is already a troublemaker!

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Ok so how old was the girl you had your first sexual encounter with? Since you were 16 I would guess that more then likely she was younger then you? Just as in today most marriages are the man being older and the woman being younger. This situation should of never had the law enforcement involved, it should of been resolved between the parents and the teens. You say that he is more manipulative and knows more then she does? I would beg to differ on your reasoning there. I know numerous people that would beg to put that to a test. I mean you parents let your teens run around wearing stuff that I wouldnt let my daughter wear no matter how old she was and then you say that its the boys fault. Its both of their faults, its both the parents fault also. 12 and 15 aged kids arent that big of a diffrence, if she was 12 or so and the boy was 18 or older then yeah I could see it but the child just turned 15, he is immature and childish at best. And when I was that age I would not do anything that the girl I was with didnt allow or want me to do. The fact is the boy was trouble, the parent knew this and still allowed them to see each other. And stated they already caught her on the phone in the middle of the night, so seems to me that shes already manipulative on her on without the so called peer pressure from this boy.

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Quoting sfinney76

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Panther hate to say it you are an ass, She wasn't unwilling, if she were you can bet your ass I wouldn't feel this way. This kid isn't a pedafile. And may I remind you I know exactly what he is on probation for I have met with his probation officer. Naive is one thing I'm not which is how I caught her at all of this.

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She can't smoke cigarettes but she can consent to rape. She can't vote but she can consent to rape. She can't drive but she can consent to rape. Heck, most places won't even give her a job, but she can consent to rape. Her mother consents to her being raped. She can't sign a contract but she can consent to rape. She can't be emancipated, nor married, but she can consent to rape. YOU TURNED THE BOY in to his probation officer, and now you want to undo it?:confused:

Your poor daughter.

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Quoting Happy Trails

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This poster didn't ruin his life by reporting this crime. It sounds like the boy is doing a good job ruining his own life.

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He is a troubled child as the OP stated and doesnt have a father. Everyone on here sounds like they have never had any trouble in their life. I can relate to this child because I too grew up with out a father and a mother that worked all the time. It isnt his fault he doesnt have any direction in his life, its the community and his parents fault. All I am stating is that you should not ruin his life he deserves a chance.

Do some research this "red flag"! Even killers like Dahmer started with animal lillings yet no one gave it enough attention as a result several young men were killed. The same can be said of many serial killers/rapist. OP is not rujinning his life she may be saving others which as a parent is her duty!

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Quoting rliming

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He is a troubled child as the OP stated and doesnt have a father. Everyone on here sounds like they have never had any trouble in their life. I can relate to this child because I too grew up with out a father and a mother that worked all the time. It isnt his fault he doesnt have any direction in his life, its the community and his parents fault. All I am stating is that you should not ruin his life he deserves a chance.

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Too late for that.

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Quoting rliming

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He is a troubled child as the OP stated and doesnt have a father. Everyone on here sounds like they have never had any trouble in their life. I can relate to this child because I too grew up with out a father and a mother that worked all the time. It isnt his fault he doesnt have any direction in his life, its the community and his parents fault. All I am stating is that you should not ruin his life he deserves a chance.

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Are you trying to say that at 15 he is too young to understand that you do not have sex with pubescent children? THIS GIRL IS 12 YEARS OLD!! 12!!

http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23541

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Quoting rliming

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He is a troubled child as the OP stated and doesnt have a father. Everyone on here sounds like they have never had any trouble in their life. I can relate to this child because I too grew up with out a father and a mother that worked all the time. It isnt his fault he doesnt have any direction in his life, its the community and his parents fault. All I am stating is that you should not ruin his life he deserves a chance.

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It is out of her control. She reported it to the probation officer in hopes to keep them apart. She didn't know PO would report it.

The boy does need help and hopefully he will get it, but he shouldn't be out on the streets where he could violate another innocent child. I disagree that it isn't his fault. He has already been in trouble and is on probation and then he is sneaking into the house of his 12 year old girlfriend.

Obviously he doesn't want to play by the rules.

You are correct, she is not old enough to give consent. She is not old enough to have sex at all as far as I am concerned. I never would have gone to the probation officer or given my statement to the police or taken her to be interviewed by the detectives or for a sexual assault exam had I not wanted there to be punishment. From some of the other posts I wasn't sure if you thought it was literally forced. I also agree that she was manipulated because at the time this happened she was mad at me for punishing her. I think it is just so gut wrenching, the whole thing and I think what I really came here for was to know exactly what to expect from this point forward from a legal stand point. I probably won't check the postings again. I just have to know in my heart that I made the right decision for her. Just keep my family in your prayers...

Keeping your family in my Prayers is a done deal I hav eno problem with that. My only objection was to slapping this kid on the wrist and my presumption that you were minimizing this issue (a presumption I still have)

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Quoting Baystategirl

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Are you trying to say that at 15 he is too young to understand that you do not have sex with pubescent children? THIS GIRL IS 12 YEARS OLD!! 12!!

http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23541

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For one shes almost 13, pubescent I have no idea about that. I am just saying they are kids. The parent caught her child having sex, she didnt come running in their room nose bleeding and crying saying he beat me and raped me. She let him in the house, she invited him to come over. But just because he is male and shes female that makes it his fault? I think not. If it was the other way around, she was 15 and he was 12 I dont think we would be having this conversation. Dont get me wrong I think any man that would force a woman to do something should be locked away and never let out but this was a 15 year old kid, and he was just exploring his body and she was too. Its not a crime its a damn shame that people put laws in books to ruin a childs life before he even understands what life is. As far as him knowing this was against the law I can assume he has no idea. I think he just thought he was having sex with his girlfriend, he and her probly thought it was making love but we all know they arent in love they are just infatuated with each other. As far as him being to young to know that he was doing wrong I would say definately he is, HE IS 15, just turned 15.

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Quoting sfinney76

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You are correct, she is not old enough to give consent. She is not old enough to have sex at all as far as I am concerned. I never would have gone to the probation officer or given my statement to the police or taken her to be interviewed by the detectives or for a sexual assault exam had I not wanted there to be punishment. From some of the other posts I wasn't sure if you thought it was literally forced. I also agree that she was manipulated because at the time this happened she was mad at me for punishing her. I think it is just so gut wrenching, the whole thing and I think what I really came here for was to know exactly what to expect from this point forward from a legal stand point. I probably won't check the postings again. I just have to know in my heart that I made the right decision for her. Just keep my family in your prayers...

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Absolutely you will be in my prayers...Good luck to you and your daughter!

She was forced according to the law as she was not of age to give consent! Reading your post in other thread you blame the Mother for not controlling her!


http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23541

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Quoting sfinney76

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You are correct, she is not old enough to give consent. She is not old enough to have sex at all as far as I am concerned. I never would have gone to the probation officer or given my statement to the police or taken her to be interviewed by the detectives or for a sexual assault exam had I not wanted there to be punishment. From some of the other posts I wasn't sure if you thought it was literally forced. I also agree that she was manipulated because at the time this happened she was mad at me for punishing her. I think it is just so gut wrenching, the whole thing and I think what I really came here for was to know exactly what to expect from this point forward from a legal stand point. I probably won't check the postings again. I just have to know in my heart that I made the right decision for her. Just keep my family in your prayers...

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I hope everything works out for you and your daughter, good luck.

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Quoting rliming

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For one shes almost 13, pubescent I have no idea about that. I am just saying they are kids. The parent caught her child having sex, she didnt come running in their room nose bleeding and crying saying he beat me and raped me. She let him in the house, she invited him to come over. But just because he is male and shes female that makes it his fault? I think not. If it was the other way around, she was 15 and he was 12 I dont think we would be having this conversation. Dont get me wrong I think any man that would force a woman to do something should be locked away and never let out but this was a 15 year old kid, and he was just exploring his body and she was too. Its not a crime its a damn shame that people put laws in books to ruin a childs life before he even understands what life is. As far as him knowing this was against the law I can assume he has no idea. I think he just thought he was having sex with his girlfriend, he and her probly thought it was making love but we all know they arent in love they are just infatuated with each other. As far as him being to young to know that he was doing wrong I would say definately he is, HE IS 15, just turned 15.

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Listen...At 12 she is a child in every definition of the word both morally and LEGALLY! A 12 year old child, either male or female, CAN NOT GIVE CONSENT TO SEX! You have no idea what you are talking about and should study the statutes before responding to a LEGAL question. This is not about what you "feel" or "think" is the "right" thing to do...this is about the correct legal thing to do! In my opinion, any one who bleeps a 12 year old should go to prison! And at 15, even without "proper guidance", this kid KNEW he was doing the wrong thing! You bet your ass he knew he shouldn't be blanking this girl...perhaps he didn't realize the legal repercussions....but he knew her parents would be pissed!

Tell me...At what point does one take responsibility for their actions?

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Quoting Baystategirl

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Listen...At 12 she is a child in every definition of the word both morally and LEGALLY! A 12 year old child, either male or female, CAN NOT GIVE CONSENT TO SEX! You have no idea what you are talking about and should study the statutes before responding to a LEGAL question. This is not about what you "feel" or "think" is the "right" thing to do...this is about the correct legal thing to do! In my opinion, any one who bleeps a 12 year old should go to prison! And at 15, even without "proper guidance", this kid KNEW he was doing the wrong thing! You bet your ass he knew he shouldn't be blanking this girl...perhaps he didn't realize the legal repercussions....but he knew her parents would be pissed!

Tell me...At what point does one take responsibility for their actions?

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When they get caught with their pants down!

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Quoting cissycicle

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When they get caught with their pants down!

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:p :p ............