Spouse Called 911 After Committing Domestic Violence

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Texas

During a verbal disagreement, spouse approached me and punched a few times (not too violently), and then called 911. I was shocked at this behavior. When cops questioned me, I said that I wanted to remain silent. Main reason was I didn't want any trouble for spouse, who I assumed did this out of immaturity. Spouse only reported verbal argument, so cops didn't make any arrest.

Same thing happened again after 12 months, I remained silent again and same outcome (no arrests). They asked me why did I think they were there and I said that I was surprised that they were called (which is true based on what I explained above). They told me that they'd write an internal documentation/informational report.

Now along with worrying about spouse (I truly care), I'm also fearful for myself, what if next time something false is alleged against me.

I discussed with a couple of people and they recommend going to police station and giving my side of the story, so police can update the report. And also telling them that I think spouse needs medical/counselling help. I talked to lawyer (free consult) who advised not to speak with the police, and hire a criminal lawyer to monitor the situation in case a prosecutor sues me (I didn't understand the last part as I'm not familiar with the legal process but my understanding is that since the police only wrote an informational report with no arrest, that there shouldn't be any follow-up action against me).

Advice please?

Whoever is telling you to go to the police to give your side of the story after the fact is an idiot. Either you do that when the police show up, or you do not.

However, if your marriage results in the police being called once a year, then perhaps you should not be remaining in the marriage.

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Quoting llworking

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Whoever is telling you to go to the police to give your side of the story after the fact is an idiot. Either you do that when the police show up, or you do not.

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Can you explain or substantiate the reasons for why not?

You should speak with a lawyer about how to better advocate for yourself if this happens, because you are describing a context in which your silence can potentially be used against you in court. When the police respond to a scene where somebody would normally say something in his or her own defense, but instead says nothing, that can potentially come into court.

Your spouse may need mental counseling, but it's fair to ask, what about you? What are you doing in this relationship, or affirmatively doing to improve the relationship? If you're not doing anything to make things better, and your spouse isn't doing anything to make things better, perhaps it's time to see a divorce lawyer.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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You should speak with a lawyer about how to better advocate for yourself if this happens, because you are describing a context in which your silence can potentially be used against you in court. When the police respond to a scene where somebody would normally say something in his or her own defense, but instead says nothing, that can potentially come into court.

Your spouse may need mental counseling, but it's fair to ask, what about you? What are you doing in this relationship, or affirmatively doing to improve the relationship? If you're not doing anything to make things better, and your spouse isn't doing anything to make things better, perhaps it's time to see a divorce lawyer.

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Could you please explain how my silence can be used against me? The main reason in my case was that I had done nothing so I remained silent to protect my spouse.

But also isn't there a general refrain of not speaking with the police. I want to understand when one should and shouldn't talk? Is there a general rule (recommendation) of not speaking or does this vary based on situation, if so, which circumstances should someone talk?

It's looking like the general caution against speaking (like in above video) isn't too helpful, because here it's me whose worried and not my spouse who spent over an hour talking.

What I've done to improve things?
1. After 1st occurrence, explained politely that calling 911 when I've done nothing could even be risky for spouse, because I might or could have told the truth.
2. Offered to go for marriage couple counselling which was refused.

Another concern I have.

I just obtained a copy of the police report in which spouse has made claims of my being a poor partner, mostly false claims and false representations (nothing criminal, otherwise the police would have taken action). I say mostly because in every marriage there can be some grudges or complaints against each other, but I don't understand the need to air those to 911? Now I'm worried that an official record or history of grievances against me has been established against me. Could spouse use this against me in some other way, e.g. lawsuit? Should I take the peer advice of going to the police now and giving my side of things? I still don't want to state that spouse hit me, but maybe at least explain that has clear anger and quick irritability issues which leads to the 911 call?

Do NOT speak to the police without consulting an attorney first. You could inadvertently say something that comes back to haunt you in the future.

Your marriage is over, the two of you just haven't realized or accepted it yet. The fact he refuses to go to counseling should be the final nail in it's coffin.

The police are not a counseling referral service. While they may be able to provide information to that direction, that is not their primary function. If the police cleared your home without arresting either of you, the matter is done from their perspective. If you go in to report that your spouse punched you, your spouse may well be arrested. Although, the police and the local prosecutor may now think that you are lying and choose not to pursue the matter any further since your credibility may well be suspect at that point.

Since no criminal prosecution seems to be pending as a result of any of this, i suspect that you need to speak with a divorce attorney rather than a criminal one. If you really don't mind being turned into a human punching bag, then I strongly suggest you speak with a therapist.

You can CARE about someone and still not be willing to be abused by them. Getting out, or even calling the police, does not mean you care for them any less, but you cannot care for them if you're dead.

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Quoting cdwjava

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If the police cleared your home without arresting either of you, the matter is done from their perspective. .

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I can say that is not necessarily true. The police may not have seen enough to justify an arrest at the time but that doesn’t mean a prosecutor doesn’t see or find enough to justify charges. Is it how it usually happens? Nope but it can and does happen that way sometimes. It could be days, weeks, or even months before charges are filed, or it really could go no further than it has.

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Quoting jk

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I can say that is not necessarily true. The police may not have seen enough to justify an arrest at the time but that doesn’t mean a prosecutor doesn’t see or find enough to justify charges. Is it how it usually happens? Nope but it can and does happen that way sometimes. It could be days, weeks, or even months before charges are filed, or it really could go no further than it has.

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I am going to disagree with you on this. A prosecutor isn't even going to look at a case unless the police refer it to them...or unless some interested party bypasses the police to force the issue. Therefore I cannot think of ANY reason why you would be correct on that particular point in this scenario.

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Quoting jk

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I can say that is not necessarily true. The police may not have seen enough to justify an arrest at the time but that doesn’t mean a prosecutor doesn’t see or find enough to justify charges. Is it how it usually happens? Nope but it can and does happen that way sometimes. It could be days, weeks, or even months before charges are filed, or it really could go no further than it has.

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A verbal argument resulting in what the OP said the police described as an, "internal documentation/informational report" means it's done. That's not a crime report forwarded to the DA. And if neither party admitted to physical contact, no domestic battery occurred and no report will be forwarded to the DA. Had there been evidence of a crime at the scene, someone would have likely gone to jail that night.

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Quoting llworking

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I am going to disagree with you on this. A prosecutor isn't even going to look at a case unless the police refer it to them...or unless some interested party bypasses the police to force the issue. Therefore I cannot think of ANY reason why you would be correct on that particular point in this scenario.

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You’ll have to trust me on this but I know, with absolute certainty, that I am correct.

oh, I see your error. I did include the part about the police forwarding the report to the prosecutor. It was in a prior post but I didn’t say anything to the contrary in my latest post

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As to the “last part” that you don’t understand;...

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if the police believe there is a crime involved they may forward the report to the prosecutor. The prosecutor will review the report and may make an investigation. If the prosecutor finds enough evidence to support charges, somebody is going to be arrested.

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Quoting cdwjava

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A verbal argument resulting in what the OP said the police described as an, "internal documentation/informational report" means it's done. That's not a crime report forwarded to the DA. And if neither party admitted to physical contact, no domestic battery occurred and no report will be forwarded to the DA. Had there been evidence of a crime at the scene, someone would have likely gone to jail that night.

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Well, somebody was punched. If that was obvious and what may have been said about the issue could lead to further action. As I said; it’s not how things normally go but I wouldn’t discount the possibility knowing what little we do here.

And and as I said to llworking, especially in regard to what you said about nobody claiming there was contact or anything else;

yes, it can happen.

I would do nothing until the next time your partner touches you. If the police are called, you tell the police exactly what happened. If the police are not called, you call them yourself and tell them what happened. It's only a matter of time that the soft punch turns into a beating, and then a night or two in a hospital. Good Luck.

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Quoting jk

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Well, somebody was punched. If that was obvious and what may have been said about the issue could lead to further action. As I said; it’s not how things normally go but I wouldn’t discount the possibility knowing what little we do here.

And and as I said to llworking, especially in regard to what you said about nobody claiming there was contact or anything else;

yes, it can happen.

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I suppose there is always the possibility that some officer somewhere might take up a closed and cold CAD incident, or verbal incident report, and go back to re-interview the parties hoping for a new and more enticing tale that leads to an incriminating statement. But, if there HAD been visible signs of an altercation, if the officers failed to investigate further or take action at the scene, they would (or SHOULD) face discipline for their dereliction of duty and violation of policy and state law. And, the OP claims that no one admitted to any battery.

Absent any admission or statements that a crime occurred, and no apparent visible injury to be acted upon, there is no reason at all to believe that this would ever leave the station - much less be submitted to a prosecutor. But, if we want to add to the mix the strange and unusual, including violation of protocol and policy, and allowing for possible psychic abilities, I will grant that there is a tiny possibility that this could become a criminal matter.

Clearly something happened to you or someone you know that may have come about from an apparently closed case. I cannot explain an incident of which I am unaware, but taking the OP's statements at face value, there's really no way this matter will get to court.