How to Figure Out Why a Custody Court Always Rules Against You

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: louisiana
My children's father has taken me to court ten times in the past 10 years, and out of two of them, i had to go to jail for contempt of court . He is a alcoholic and a past crack user who slips still to my knowledge, and my children do not want to go on his visitation days due to his violent alcoholic abuse to myself , his past wife, and his present wife. My son has recorded him an his present wife fighting a few months ago,and i never told him to do it, but when we went to court the judge did not seem to care about it. None of his personal flaws seem to matter to the judge and he always points the finger at me. He is now threatning my son that he will sue me if my son doesn't stop talking about his problems with the current custody situation on public media. I need advice on how to make my situation better for me and my children. My children are really miserable when they visit their alcoholic father(visitation days)

Who has custody?
Why did you ended up in jail if it seems that you have custody?

The judge gave him shared equal custody. They stay with me for 1 week then go to their alcoholic fathers for a week. When its time for my children to go to their dads, they really give me a hard time about going because he drinks constantly and can be very violent. My children have seen him be very abusive to myself and to his present wife. His wife has already(since their marriage approximately 18 months)been sent to the hospital twice from injuries due to his abusive ways. I have been held in contempt due to my children not wanting to go see their dad. Their dad has 2 other kids that he is over 17000 behind in child support. Regardless of his arrearages in child support and his abusive alcoholic ways, the judge could care less about any of this. The Judge has always ruled in his favor and does not ever consider the safety of my kids. He drinks 24/7. I want my children to love their dad but under the above conditions, i really believe they do not care at all for him.

Do you have any evidence to prove this than your word? The judge wants to see evidences. Testimony from children etc.

You can't just arbitrarily decide to stop visitation because your kids don't want to. Going to contempt hearing is not the place to change visitation. You keep going to jail because you don't make your kids go when the court has ORDERED you to make them go. If you are not careful, you COULD lose your custody, since there is a pattern of you disobeying the orders. The judge is probably tired of seeing the same case by now. Also, child support and visitation are two completely different things, and one does not and should not impact the other.

With that said, I completely understand your concern for your children. How old are they? Has he ever been violent to the children?

Your son should also learn that social media can be an awful thing and that some things do not belong there. Family custody situations, I personally believe, is one of them.

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Quoting Amanda abrusley

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The judge gave him shared equal custody. They stay with me for 1 week then go to their alcoholic fathers for a week. When its time for my children to go to their dads, they really give me a hard time about going because he drinks constantly and can be very violent. My children have seen him be very abusive to myself and to his present wife. His wife has already(since their marriage approximately 18 months)been sent to the hospital twice from injuries due to his abusive ways. I have been held in contempt due to my children not wanting to go see their dad. Their dad has 2 other kids that he is over 17000 behind in child support. Regardless of his arrearages in child support and his abusive alcoholic ways, the judge could care less about any of this. The Judge has always ruled in his favor and does not ever consider the safety of my kids. He drinks 24/7. I want my children to love their dad but under the above conditions, i really believe they do not care at all for him.

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Your children are taking many of their cues from you - and apparently your judge realizes that and isn't too impressed with you withholding visitation.

What are you doing to encourage the children? Why are you letting them give you such a hard time? You're the parent - not them. You get to make the decisions - not them. You need to start acting like it before the judge really gets tired of you and changes custody in Dad's favor.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Your children are taking many of their cues from you - and apparently your judge realizes that and isn't too impressed with you withholding visitation.

What are you doing to encourage the children? Why are you letting them give you such a hard time? You're the parent - not them. You get to make the decisions - not them. You need to start acting like it before the judge really gets tired of you and changes custody in Dad's favor.

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This is the problem (the judge siding against me always). My children came home last year so upset that a gun woke them when they were sleeping. Their father was holding a gun to their step mothers head and she was telling to he should just shoot her. i did not make them go back because of their safety. He then takes me to court and the judge did take the kids back into his office to talk and when they returned he really let their father know that he had messed up his son terribly bad and seemed very disturbed by what the kids had told him. A few months my son had come home with recordings that were horrible and that no child should have to be in the middle of but the next time we went to court that judge was not the same man who had spoken to the kids the last time. I felt like he had been persuaded to listen to my ex and side with him because from there on out I am the bad guy even though he is the only one doing bad things.
I am the parent and I do have control but these are not normal circumstances and I assure you that you would be doing the same thing if you cared about your children.

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Quoting Amanda abrusley

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This is the problem (the judge siding against me always). My children came home last year so upset that a gun woke them when they were sleeping. Their father was holding a gun to their step mothers head and she was telling to he should just shoot her. i did not make them go back because of their safety. He then takes me to court and the judge did take the kids back into his office to talk and when they returned he really let their father know that he had messed up his son terribly bad and seemed very disturbed by what the kids had told him. A few months my son had come home with recordings that were horrible and that no child should have to be in the middle of but the next time we went to court that judge was not the same man who had spoken to the kids the last time. I felt like he had been persuaded to listen to my ex and side with him because from there on out I am the bad guy even though he is the only one doing bad things.
I am the parent and I do have control but these are not normal circumstances and I assure you that you would be doing the same thing if you cared about your children.

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Well, then.

Do you actually want advice, or do you want someone to affirm your feelings? I'm asking seriously.

I am just very stressed out. Yes I do need advice, I have no one to go to.

Have you spoken to the police, CPS, or anyone else when your kids came home and said their dad was going to murder their stepmother in front of them? Do you have any documentation at all?