How Can a Parent Petition for Abandonment

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NJ

In the context of stepparent adoption? It's best to see if the absent parent will consent, but if not you can try to prove that, despite a reasonable opportunity to do so, the absent parent has failed to engage in contact or provide support for a sufficiently long time that the court should overrule the parent's objection and allow the adoption to proceed.

So my ex has been out of the picture for more than a year now, I have an order that says "temporary legal and physical custody". She has had bouts with addiction and I don't want her around my son (he is 3) until she has proven that she can function as an adult and a parent, the court has agreed with me and she has failed to comply with the order (to produce documents related to her recovery, drug test results, etc). She hasn't paid child support in about 6 months. She is responsible for paying $18/week and this is through probation. She also moved to Alabama about 5 months ago. I can't say for sure weather or not she called because her phone number changes every few weeks. She was arrested a few times in the last year that she has been MIA. I found out through social media.

But anyway, I just got married to a woman who would love to adopt my little guy and I want to put this all behind us and not have this person looming around dragging us back to court on a whim.

Speak to an attorney. This will not be a do-it-yourself project.

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Quoting Nolanmichaelp

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She is responsible for paying $18/week and this is through probation.

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So she is providing support.

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Quoting Nolanmichaelp

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I can't say for sure weather or not she called because her phone number changes every few weeks.

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And she may be trying to contact the child by phone.

That's not a strong case for abandonment. But mom's in another state, so visitation is not likely to become an issue, and you have time -- by the time you reach your first anniversary you should have a pretty good sense of whether or not the mother is trying to maintain a relationship with the child.

Why don't you answer your phone ? If mom is trying to contact her child and she can't because you won't answer the phone. That does not look good for you.

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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Why don't you answer your phone ? If mom is trying to contact her child and she can't because you won't answer the phone. That does not look good for you.

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If mom has an option of using an answering machine or voice mail, then mom share's responsibility. I can understand why people don't want to answer their phone for unknown callers, given the enormous number of solicitations I get every day despite being on the "do not call" list.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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If mom has an option of using an answering machine or voice mail, then mom share's responsibility. I can understand why people don't want to answer their phone for unknown callers, given the enormous number of solicitations I get every day despite being on the "do not call" list.

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Mr. Knowitall, I see your point. But, Alabama has severs area codes. Chances are very good the calls from mom are coming from the same area code. if not the same number with a Alabama area code. A Judge might view it as dad not trying hard enough. If mom does not have a phone of her own. She may be using friends phones. She could leave a message. But, no way for dad to return the call.

Something tells me dad would not be honest if mom had left a message on voicemail. It could also be someone calling on mom's behalf. Maybe mom is receiving drug treatment. Or she could have other health issues. Or she could be doing better than dad thinks she is.

Ok, just to be clear, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt when I said "I can't say for sure weather or not she called". I have received zero phone calls with an Alabama area code, no text messages, and no voicemail. I think everyone is focusing on the wrong part of the story here lol.

I am the father of a 3 year old with sole physical and legal custody (even though it's "temporary") it's a rare thing all together from what I understand. The reason I got this was because I was able to prove that she was A) using heroin while caring for my son B) sleeping on 4-5 different couches a week with my son in a pack-n-play C) using the $800 a month I gave her to buy drugs D) the places she was staying were drug dens with silly amounts of people living there. So it has been 2 years since her last visit.

My son is 3 now and has lived with me since November of 2015. I asked for child support to keep her accountable. I don't need the money, I know that makes me look like a jerk, but she needs to be accountable for her actions and to her son. She hast paid child support in 6 months and she absconded to Alabama 5 months ago with no notice.

She was arrested 2 weeks before she left and arrested again 4 weeks after she got there. She is living with the same guy she was shooting heroin with in Alabama who also had the exact same circumstances with regards the his own child. I need this woman out of our lives if this is how she is going to behave. She has been given more than enough time and opportunity to get it together (I feel so anyway). So my question is; Do I have a case for abandonment, how does my wife adopt my son, can it be done?

As previously indicated, if you pursue stepparent adoption:

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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It's best to see if the absent parent will consent, but if not you can try to prove that, despite a reasonable opportunity to do so, the absent parent has failed to engage in contact or provide support for a sufficiently long time that the court should overrule the parent's objection and allow the adoption to proceed.

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