Emancipation Without Parental Consent

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: Nebraska. I live in the state of Nebraska and I am 16 years old, turning 17 really soon. The age of majority in Nebraska is unfortunately 19 years old. My parents both continue to emotionally abuse me, they treat me so horribly it's disgusting. The list goes on from telling me to kill myself, to calling me names. They tell me any and everything to make sure I feel like everything is my fault. My mother blames me for my dad calling my sick names and continuing to emotionally abuse me. I've been repeatedly told that I am nothing and that I get depressed for attention. One time I broke down in front of my parents who mocked me, made fun of the way I cry, and called me stupid. My dad smashed my phone in half recently and also body slammed me to the ground head first in order to with hold my keys from me. They also brought up the fact (while laughing) that even if I called the cops, they would never believe me because I'm still a kid and that I would could never leave because I still live under them. It's gotten so bad I went from being a straight A student to failing almost all my classes. I continue to go to my counselor to look for ways I could make my lifestyle easier so I could prevent stuff like this from happening, but I'm about ready to give up. I really can't take it anymore. They are some of the worst people I know, the way they treat me is unbelievable. I'm probably the most responsible person I know. I pay $200 for my phone bill each month, I pay for my car insurance, I pay for any oil changes damages and registration for my car. I pay for my student fees as well as my lunch. I earn a health care insurance benefit through my work which gets deducted form my paycheck biweekly. I am basically responsible for any and everything I own because my parents have cut me off. I decided to get a job because of this. My dad stopped paying for my car insurance which fell as a burden on my mom, and at one moment he stopped paying for my HEALTH INSURANCE. I was sick on and off for two months before I could do anything about it, because unlike my siblings, I didn't have any insurance. They are MAKING me quit my job soon KNOWING they won't be able to support me. But the problem is, what are my chances of being granted emancipation without consent? Be brutally honest, because even if there's a slight chance.

We don't turn the abused out to live on their own. We find alternative adult custody for them. Despite what you think you know about emancipation from your eighth-grade social studies class, emancipation is not a method to escape parental enslavement. It is the recognition that an already independent minor needs relief from certain things denied him (like the ability to enter into contracts).

It's an absolute requirement in your state that the parent's consent. Second, you wouldn't qualify anyhow.


If you are truly abused, contact a responsible adult: school teacher, counselor, or a minister. If you can't figure out anything else try 800-4-A-CHILD for a referral.

Why did your father have to go to such extremes to wrest your car keys from you? Might it be because you refused to give them up willingly and maybe you were threatening to leave the house when your parents told you no, you are not to leave?

You say your father stopped paying for your car insurance so it fell to your mother. You do realize you have no right to a car, right? It is optional and if your parents don’t say no, you don’t have a car.

While I’m not trying to discount what you say of your parents, there are a lot of issues here that sound like it may not be all your parents as the problem.

I sugggest you find some sort of counseling. Family counseling would be most beneficial but if tbat isn’t possible, then something for you. Both to help you deal with your parental issues but also with what appear to be some issues of your own.

what are my chances of being granted emancipation without consent?

Zero. They're not much higher even with consent.

Please go back and read through the letters we get concerning emancipation. We're not stomping you because we are mean adults, we are stimply telling you that what you believe to be illegal and abusive from your point of view may not really be so in the eyes of the law. Yes, it sounds as though you are a mature and responsible 16year old, however, at the time being, your parent have all the power. No car, no phone, no place to live with utilities, as a minor, unless you have a thriving entertainment career or are a professional athlete, you will not be able to support yourself totally without the assistance of other people. And you cannot get a place to live because you cannot sign contracts (staying with friends does not count) and you must continue with the way things are until your parents lose custody and you are placed in a foster care situation or until you age out at 19. I wonder if your screen name would have anything to do with the disagreements your parents and you are having at the present (nlove?) If so, if there is someone else in the picture you'd rather live with, etc. that makes your case even weaker.

Yes, even though a car is optional, it makes day to day tasks like going to school, work, or any other extracurricular activities easier. If revoked, yes I wouldn't have a car, and they have all rights to do so. What adults like you fail to understand is that like you, minors also have many tasks to tackle outside of school whether it is sports, having a job, etc. And that could be for many reasons. Thus MANY minors having a car by the age of 16.

While you say you're not trying to discount the terrible actions of my parents, you are. No need to hide your far reached assumption. To clear things up with you, my dad took my keys away from me out of rage. And my parents genuinely treat me the way they do for no reason. While you might think that sounds like some BS, it isn't, because if you haven't noticed there are people out there who treat their kids terribly for what ever the reason may be. But thank you at the attempt of trying to turn the tables towards me,

Here's the thing.

Emancipation is not and never was intended to be a means to allow a minor to leave home - even an abusive home. Emancipation was and is intended to be a means to give legal protections to those minors who, for reasons outside their own control, are ALREADY living on their own.

It doesn't matter how good your reasons are for wanting emancipation. If you are not already living on your own and paying 100% of your own expenses, you do not qualify.

If there is actual abuse, there are options open to you - but emancipation is not one of them.

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What adults like you fail to understand is that like you, minors also have many tasks to tackle outside of school whether it is sports, having a job, etc. And that could be for many reasons. Thus MANY minors having a car by the age of 16.

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oh, that’s right. I’ve never been a teenaged kid. While I’m older, cars and jobs were both common when I was a kid.

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While you say you're not trying to discount the terrible actions of my parents, you are.

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the derision; absolutely not. The parental control of their kid: absolutely.

A parent has a right, nay, an obligation to raise their child and that does require telling a kid no sometimes.

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Quoting nlove

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Yes, even though a car is optional, it makes day to day tasks like going to school, work, or any other extracurricular activities easier. If revoked, yes I wouldn't have a car, and they have all rights to do so. What adults like you fail to understand is that like you, minors also have many tasks to tackle outside of school whether it is sports, having a job, etc. And that could be for many reasons. Thus MANY minors having a car by the age of 16.

While you say you're not trying to discount the terrible actions of my parents, you are. No need to hide your far reached assumption. To clear things up with you, my dad took my keys away from me out of rage. And my parents genuinely treat me the way they do for no reason. While you might think that sounds like some BS, it isn't, because if you haven't noticed there are people out there who treat their kids terribly for what ever the reason may be. But thank you at the attempt of trying to turn the tables towards me,

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What minors like you fail to realize (like how I did that?) is that we adults have been teenagers and are able to recall those times. While many minors have access to cars many more do not and have to shift for themselves. Cars are expensive and I'm not referring to just the up front cost of purchasing it.

All children at your age feel that us parents are the enemy and while we are not discounting terrible behavior of adults there are also plenty of times that children have their part to play.

If you feel that you are being abused report it to a school counselor. They will be obligated to report it to the appropriate authorities and open an investigation. This will not, however, lead to emancipation.

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A parent has a right, nay, an obligation to raise their child and that does require telling a kid no sometimes.

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I'm with you on this. I've identified my limited options as a minor under my parents. Yes, I don't have to have certain privileges like a phone, car, or a job. Yes my parents have the right to shoot down any and every responsibility I pursue. That is not the problem at hand here, besides the emotional abuse from my parents, they fail to support me INCLUDING their obligations as parents. For example, my health insurance. I was forced to get a job BECAUSE of this. I was sick on and off during most of winter and COULD NOT go get checked or else it would have been an out of pocket expense. My parents have repeatedly failed to support me financially, whether that be REQUIRED or optional. Other reasons including my lunch bill that they allow to pile up, preventing me from eating lunch at school. While they do have the right to force me to quit my job, there is a high risk that these things could happen again. I work mainly to save up to attend a four year university. Despite bringing up the situation to them many times, I have yet to see even a dime saved up for my future. I look for emancipation as an option because they have that power to do so. I take on this responsibility as a convenience for MY future as well as my lifestyle. To not look for any options to be granted SOME authority of myself, effects me in the long run.

But emancipation is NOT an option.

Look, you told us to be brutally honest, and when we did, you complained. Go back and read my post #7 again - what emancipation is and is not for and the qualification thereof.

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Quoting nlove

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Yes, even though a car is optional, it makes day to day tasks like going to school, work, or any other extracurricular activities easier. If revoked, yes I wouldn't have a car, and they have all rights to do so. What adults like you fail to understand is that like you, minors also have many tasks to tackle outside of school whether it is sports, having a job, etc. And that could be for many reasons. Thus MANY minors having a car by the age of 16.

While you say you're not trying to discount the terrible actions of my parents, you are. No need to hide your far reached assumption. To clear things up with you, my dad took my keys away from me out of rage. And my parents genuinely treat me the way they do for no reason. While you might think that sounds like some BS, it isn't, because if you haven't noticed there are people out there who treat their kids terribly for what ever the reason may be. But thank you at the attempt of trying to turn the tables towards me,

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Cars make it easier for many adults to do the things they need to do as well. So I think it's safe to say that all the adults here probably realize that having a car would make your life easier. That doesn't change the fact that having a car is not a "right" for anyone. Whether you are an adult or a minor.

In addition to that, what do you think emancipation will get you? You would still have to pay for all of your own things, in addition to the things your parent provide for you now. A roof over your head, food in your belly, things like that. You would have to purchase a car, and pay for the insurance if you wanted a vehicle. You would be solely responsible for your health insurance and any medical bills, etc. How would you pay for all of that, when you are upset that your folks didn't pay your car insurance and your mom had to? More to the point, how would you go about doing all of that while still going to school and bringing your grades up from failing? It is difficult for a lot of adults to work full time alone, and make all their financial responsibilities, without also going to school.

Only knowing your side of the story, and assuming they treat you awful for no reason at all, then your parents certainly don't sound like parents of the year, and if you are being abused, you need to speak to an adult who can help you. Presumably, you have mentioned all of this to your counselor, and that person, who is a mandatory reporter, hasn't found it to have crossed over to a level that needs to be reported, which would make me believe that the truth is somewhere in the middle. Even if it is enough to be reported, and is deemed credible upon investigation, emancipation isn't going to be the answer. Another adult would be chosen to take care of you, because as it has been mentioned, emancipation is not a means of escape from an abusive situation, nor is it meant to allow children to leave home before they are adults.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it is the reality of the situation. The day you come of age, you will have the ability to walk out the door and begin living your life the way you want to. And I know for certain they are not required to pay your lunch bill at school. You can pack a lunch with stuff from home as an alternative. Your parents are not required to save anything for your future. Just as you are free to walk out the day you come of age, their obligation to put a roof over your head, food in your belly and clothes on your back ends as well.

I have to say, you sounded fairly mature in your first post. Now you sound like an argumentative and entitled teenager.

Also, I can almost bet that with emancipation, you'll find it near impossible to get auto insurance.

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I have to say, you sounded fairly mature in your first post. Now you sound like an argumentative and entitled teenager.

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I would have to admit, my ignorance is getting in the way of accepting the reality of this situation, which is probably much more complicated than I am making it up to be. Of course, but if you read my other posts, I willingly state that I am not entitled to anything. I'm not trying to achieve coming off as you say, but don't generalize the type of person I am in the heat of the moment. I've come to understand from other posts that emancipation obviously isn't an option worth pursing at this point. At this point, I'm just looking for alternatives to help me with my situation. I would be lying if I said I didn't think every response I've gotten so far was legitimate and most likely true. It's just harder to accept the reality of it, because I came in wanting different responses. And I'm sorry if my last post came of as me being "entitled" for stating my school lunch as well as my savings. That was a misunderstanding. As I know I'm not entitled to those things, I just wanted to be able to have the option to pay for those things.

You have no rights to having that option.

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You have no rights to having that option

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Of course, unless you have parental approval. But that's already been established.

But if anyone has any other suggestions or advice for me apart from emancipation I'm open to hear it!

You were given advice. Report the abuse to the authorities. You can do this by contacting Nebraska DHHS directly via their Hotline 1-800-652-1999 or talk to a trusted teacher or counselor at school.

Key word. "any other" meaning I've already taken the advice given into consideration, and awaiting for more if any. This has been knowledgeable at its best and hoping everything works out.

Thank You

Other than putting up with it or reporting it you really don't have any other options.

And so I've come to find out, it's sad really.

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Quoting nlove

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And so I've come to find out, it's sad really.

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Other than emancipation, what other option did you imagine there would be?

You say you are seeing a counselor. If the counselor had reason to suspect you are being abused. The counselor would have to notify CPS. Then CPS would decide if you are being abused. If they decided you are being abused. They could remove you and put you in a foster home until your parents received counseling

Since you asked for brutal honesty, even though you didn't seem to like being given it, I'm going to give you a little more.

There are two ways for a minor to leave their home before the age of majority, which as you've already pointed out is not until 19 in your state. One way is WITH parental permission. The other is if you are removed by the state.

There simply isn't another way for a minor to legally leave home against his or her parents' wishes unless s/he is removed from the home because of abuse. When I said there were other options, that's what I was referring to.

And let's be frank here; either the abuse is bad enough to report or it's not. If it is, then you need to call the authorities, whether that means CPS or the police EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. If it's not, then you're going to have to suck it up. (Yes, I'm being blunt on purpose.)

We used to have a moderator on this site whose parents literally nearly killed her. I'm talking comatose in the hospital for two weeks. She used to really blast the kids who only wanted out if it could be on their terms. If you're really being abused, she would tell them, then you want out no matter how it happens or where you end up because ANYTHING is better than what you've got. If you only want out when you get to dictate where you go, then it can't really be that bad.

Don't take my word for it. Her posts are all still here. Check out some of the posts from LawResearcherMissy.

Then give it some thought. You're the only one who knows if it's worth reporting or not. But unless your parents give you permission to move out, then the ONLY way you're leaving before you're 19 is if the state takes you out. In which case the state says where you go. It might be with another relative. It might be foster care. It might be a group home. But wherever it is, it'll be away from your parents. So which is your better option? These are the only ones you've got.

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Other than emancipation, what other option did you imagine there would be?

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Being honest with you, none! I didn't even know emancipation WAS an option. I mean, it's hardly an option given under the circumstances, but like you said. I quickly realized there isn't much option for me to begin with. I'd either have to report or it and go through the state or leave it alone.

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Since you asked for brutal honesty, even though you didn't seem to like being given it, I'm going to give you a little more.

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Honestly one of the best responses I've received so far. I know I wanted people to be brutally honest with me, believe it or not, I still don't take it back. It was just harder for me to be able to grasp and accept the reality of the responses I was getting, as you can tell by the way I reacted in my earlier posts. And, it really is something I'll have to think about. I think I find it so hard for me to report it because of the outcome. Like you said, anywhere is better than my situation. And it is, but, I also have siblings I would be leaving who need me. That's really where I'm left with one option, and that's to put up with it until I'm old enough to go to college. Till then I'll really just need to find ways to make my living situation easier for me. Whether that's continuing counseling or etc.

And you don't think the authorities will take other children in the home into consideration?

Oh no, I KNOW they will take my siblings into consideration as well. And I don't want them to go through that because my parents don't abuse them like they do me. So to also willingly put them in that situation is also another reason why I don't report it.

Because my family has had first hand experience with this before with my brother, but on another issue. He's now been in several foster homes, and as a result I too have been questioned on the safety of home. Mainly why I turn to counseling rather then reporting it, because I've been given the option by my school counselor to report it. But turned it down for this same reason.

Your school counselor doesn't have a choice to report it. If they believe you are being abused, they are required to report it. They don't get to just give you a choice.

Which is why it took me back when she gave me the option. I know counselors are required to report it, heck even teachers are required to report it. But she gave me the OPTION, which makes me think if she really believes me on the severity of my situation. Is it different with physical abuse? I am serious when I ask this, but are victims of emotional abuse given a different approach? Of course there is a huge difference between the two, whereas one is physical and the other is not.

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Quoting nlove

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Which is why it took me back when she gave me the option. I know counselors are required to report it, heck even teachers are required to report it. But she gave me the OPTION, which makes me think if she really believes me on the severity of my situation. Is it different with physical abuse? I am serious when I ask this, but are victims of emotional abuse given a different approach? Of course there is a huge difference between the two, whereas one is physical and the other is not.

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It sounds like the counselor is shirking their duty to report. If you report anything that even has a hint of the odor of abuse the counselor is legally bound to report it and let the authorities assess the situation. It's not within their purview to make that assessment.

As to emotional abuse; Nebraska has a legal definition for emotional abuse and it is considered a crime but can be more difficult to prove. Many teenagers feel they are being emotionally abused and it's nothing more than the boundaries that parents set or the discipline set in place by a parent.

Again, if you feel that you are being abused, or your siblings are being abused, then you should report it to the police, DHHS or another counselor or teacher.

The one event of a physical nature is questionable as to whether it would be seen as abusive. Depening on all the facts it may or may not be.

Unless there is more true physical abuse, chances are if cps became involved they might go the route of demanding counseling. I doubt they would do much though given the actions you’ve described.

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Quoting nlove

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Oh no, I KNOW they will take my siblings into consideration as well. And I don't want them to go through that because my parents don't abuse them like they do me. So to also willingly put them in that situation is also another reason why I don't report it.

Because my family has had first hand experience with this before with my brother, but on another issue. He's now been in several foster homes, and as a result I too have been questioned on the safety of home. Mainly why I turn to counseling rather then reporting it, because I've been given the option by my school counselor to report it. But turned it down for this same reason.

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If your school counselor had reasons to believe there was abuse in the home. The school counselor is required by law to report it. Giving you an option indicates the school counselor does not believe what is going on in your home rises to the level of abuse

If you plan on applying for government grats to go to college. you will have to have your parents financial information and signature twice a year. There is no way around this if you want government grants

There aren't enough foster homes, group homes or even case workers, to take care of all the kids whose abuse IS physical, let alone mental or emotional. You won't be taken out of the home on the basis of emotional abuse, which is also much harder to prove.

Counseling is a much more appropriate response when the abuse is not physical.

You should know that it really is great that you are thinking about your future, and wanting to take responsibility for yourself as a teenager. There are many teenagers that just sit around loafing and don't contribute anything to society or their family. Right now, you are sixteen, and your parents are the rulers in your life. So you do what they say. What you need to focus on now, is to continue counseling to manage your feelings about your situation, and focus on bringing your grades up so that you can get into a good school, earn scholarships etc. Focus on the things you can control, so that you can set yourself up as best you can for your future.

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Quoting nlove

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That is not the problem at hand here, besides the emotional abuse from my parents, they fail to support me INCLUDING their obligations as parents. For example, my health insurance. I was forced to get a job BECAUSE of this. I was sick on and off during most of winter and COULD NOT go get checked or else it would have been an out of pocket expense. My parents have repeatedly failed to support me financially, whether that be REQUIRED or optional. Other reasons including my lunch bill that they allow to pile up, preventing me from eating lunch at school. While they do have the right to force me to quit my job, there is a high risk that these things could happen again. I work mainly to save up to attend a four year university. Despite bringing up the situation to them many times, I have yet to see even a dime saved up for my future. I look for emancipation as an option because they have that power to do so. I take on this responsibility as a convenience for MY future as well as my lifestyle. To not look for any options to be granted SOME authority of myself, effects me in the long run.

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This confuses me. You have mentioned the health insurance a few times. As a minor, your parents are indeed financially responsible for health care. However, they are would also be shouldering any bills for said health care. You are not on the hook to pay for health care bills. However, you can be on the hook to contribute toward general household expenses for the family if your parents decide that it is needed.

I don't want to read too much into this, but does your health care have to do with seeking medical treatment that your parents forbid? Is this why you were told to pay for it? It seems odd that you had to go to work to pay off medical bills and then suddenly are being told that you will stop working.

My gut suspects that your parents are fearful that you are becoming too independent too fast for your own safety. You mentioned that your dad wrestled you to the ground for car keys at one point out of rage. That sounds like parents fighting your independence.

Here's the thing. You sound like someone who is indeed mature in many ways, but also may have some growing up to do still. If you are paying the bills you claim, then you are also a hard worker. When you become a legal adult, you will be able to establish your own bank account that your parents cannot touch, and you will be able to move out. Save up for that, and then plan your future. It may take you a little more time than some of your classmates, but you will be stronger for it in the long run.

Sorry for the confusion but I worked a small part time job in the summer, and so apparently because I was then receiving an income, there was confusion about my insurance. I can't really tell you in depth about it because I didn't know what was going on. But my insurance was cut off, and after explaining to my parents that I have to get my health insurance back for the upcoming fall and winter season, they put it off for months before I actually got it back again which was very recently. In the fall/winter time I get really sick which would continue for months without any sort of treatment. Which is what happened the past couple months. And my job benefit did cover for health check ups as well as physicals. As confusing as it may sound, my parents did force me to put my two weeks in for my job knowing that the only way I could get treated was through my job benefit. But now since I'm scheduled to stop working in a few weeks I'll be able to focus on school more. Which is an upside to everything going on right now, but thank you for the advice, I appreciate it!

It may not have been your parents putting it off. Federal law regulates when a dependent can be added (or removed) from an employer-sponsored group policy. How long after your job benefits ended did you ask your parents about reinstating you on their policy?

There might be some confusion. So this is all very recent, I put my two weeks in, towards the beginning of February and will end some time next week I believe. So that is when I'll stop receiving any benefits I get from my job. My parents have now recently added me onto their policy, they would've had to eventually since I already put my two weeks in. But I was taken off sometime late summer, which is when I started getting sick during the beginning of the fall and when going in to get checked up we were told it would be an out of pocket expense because I didn't have health insurance. So my parents were aware I wasn't on their policy since then. My parents got into many arguments about this because my father was partly responsible for me being reinstated back on their health insurance but purposely put it off because he refused to pay for it at the time.

There are Federal laws about when a dependent can be added onto a health insurance policy. It can't be done just anytime. Every year there is a short window when a dependent can be added or dropped, called an "open enrollment" period. Outside of Open Enrollment, changes can only be made within a 30 day window of what the IRS calls a "qualified life change". By law, if it is not Open Enrollment or within 30 days of the day your other coverage ended, your father would not have been able to add you back on, BY LAW.

This is exactly what I do for a living, BTW. If your father worked for my employer, I'd be the one he'd contact to put you back on his policy. So you can trust that I know what I'm talking about.