What is the Impact of Denying a Visit on a Custody Case

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA

Background: My ex has not seen his daughter on a regular basis. It was about once or twice a month. There has been a few month last year that he has not seen her at all. In November I moved to a different state, hoping for a better financial situation. I had his permission, in writing, signiture notarized. I returned in January as I was not able to find work and because there is the court date this week.

I am currently staying at a friends house (my daughter and I have our own room and bathroom) I am making some income as a freelancer.

He asked me today if I can drop of his daughter at his house. I explained to him that I can currently not afford a two hour drive. He then asked that we meet half way. I again told him that I cannot do that right now. I also told him for future visits we can make arrangements but not for this weekend. He would need to pick her up and drop her off. He refused to do just that. Instead, he sent me about 20 messages about how bad of a mother I am because "I left the state with his daughter", that he and his gf would be better care taker then I am, that he is not going to pay child support because he does not want me to have the money because it is for his daughter. He states he will come and pick her up but I have to pick her up tomorrow. Which I told him I cannot do.

I know the main reason why he wants her to be there tomorrow is because of an event that included pictures. He likes her to be on pictures to make it look good.

I would like to request sole custody at court with him having visitation every other weekend and probably more time during summer break and so on.

Will it look bad on me at the court if I deny him this visit because of the fact that we were not able to come to a agreement in regards to pick up and drop off? Will it affect me negatively that I am currently not full-time employed?

Thank you.

Is there a parenting schedule in place now? That is what you are obligated to abide by.

nothing like that is in place.

But I talked to a friend. And I sent my ex another message explaining that he can pick her up but also has to return her. If he cants do that he cant have her today and we need to find another date. Eventually, he agreed to it.

If no parenting order, is there even a custody order? If not, while the father would have no right to insist on any visitation, just the same, if he does pick up the child, he has no obligation to return her to you.

Is there a support order?

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Quoting jk

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If no parenting order, is there even a custody order? If not, while the father would have no right to insist on any visitation, just the same, if he does pick up the child, he has no obligation to return her to you.

Is there a support order?

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Sorry, I just saw your reply!

Support Order has been started about 2 years ago. He does owe about 14k in arrears.
we went to court for mediation but there was not enough time so we have to go back to court on March for custody and to make changes to the child support order.

How do you have a support order without a custody order or parenting schedule? Support is affected, obviously, by who has custody of the child as well as how much each parent has the child.

If there is no visitation set by the court, how are you "denying visitation"? I'm also confused about having a support order when there is no custody established.

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Quoting jk

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How do you have a support order without a custody order or parenting schedule? Support is affected, obviously, by who has custody of the child as well as how much each parent has the child.

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I contacted Child support services. They ask who the child lives with most of the time (with me) and so they did the calculation using both of our incomes, daycare cost and health insurance. Nothing else.
It was calculated as if I have sole custody (that's what its stated on the child support calculation paper they sent out)

Well even though its not set by the court he still has a right and of course should see his daughter. Unless she is maybe sick or he would show up drunk I wouldn't say no to him taking her with her. I dont want to deny my child time with her dad just because we dont have a court order yet.

I have mentioned before. I was able, easily to request child support with the child support department. They have been taking care of everything so far.

If there is no custody or visitation order, he would not be obligated to return the child once the child is with him. You reallly should get things down on paper so both of you know the rules in place.

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Quoting jk

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If there is no custody or visitation order, he would not be obligated to return the child once the child is with him. You reallly should get things down on paper so both of you know the rules in place.

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COurt date is next week! That should settle any future issues!