ExpertLaw.com Forums

What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records

Printable View

  • 01-30-2018, 02:31 PM
    casper646
    What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas.

    We are joint conservators and awaiting a custody evaluation (social study) for better orders. (The day of court for temp orders was crazy, basically threatened to lie to judge if I didn't agree to their terms, so me and my attorney felt it was best to let the evaluator do her job rather than the judge in a quick hearing -- really long story there)

    The wording is normal legal jargon but does say that we have the right to receive information regarding education, medical, stuff like that; and also says under duties that we must inform the other conservator of such things. The best advice I got so far was to go back to court for clarification of the orders. My attorney agrees that these are non unreasonable requests, that they're my children too and I should have the right to the things my ex denies.

    The history of us: in the beginning of our separation, we actually became great friends, and told each other everything about the kids, and it all stopped when her mother hired an attorney because she did not like our arrangement. My ex's openness with me came to a halt. She replaced my daughter's tablet so she is not unable to text or call me like she used to, and denies "telephone access." No matter how many times I ask, I don't get to see her folder from school anymore, so I am missing out on her education and school activities. And if I know about a dr appt, I have to prompt for info the next day (giving her benefit of the doubt she didn't feel like texting right after the appointment) And she chooses what things need medical treatment; eg: told her daugher's ears hurt, she didn't respond, found out a month later that she took daughter to ENT Dr because she complained of ear pain, and when I pointed out that I've been telling her about it, ex replies that our daughter hasn't complained yet.

    Currently there's many things I feel like I missed. I don't know how much of it is petty, but you have to understand that they're my kids and it is so hard to not know what's going on in their lives. Like Friday both kids had a check-up, my daughter was complaining that she couldn't see well far away, so obviously I wanted to know how that check-up went. I texted Saturday in which my ex replies that her eyes are fine but will be making an appointment with an optometrist anyway. Yesterday about 7PM I texted asking if she had made that appointment and for when it is. No response as of yet.

    Our SAPCR orders are in draft stage, and last I spoke with my attorney, I told him about all these things, how she doesn't update me about dr appts, and I don't get to see schoolwork, along with the fact that in our agreement she was supposed to allow telephone access a few times / week but is still denying it. He said those are not unreasonable requests, and will talk to her attorney about rewriting it so that it is clearer for her, but that we don't normally do that until final orders. I tried to tell him nevermind, only discuss telephone access, and for the rest to use as ammo against her, but he cut me off and said he's playing catch up and has to call his next client, cuz I kept saying "uhh" and changing my mind.

    I'm not sure what to expect out of the next revision of the temp orders. I did email him to tell him what my main concern is, since for the rest, it is actually in the orders, just not clear enough for her to "do what a parent is supposed to do" (my attorney's words)

    So my question to you guys, is if it's not clearly defined in the orders to inform me of doctor's appointments and what's transpired at them, and allow me the chance to see schoolwork and know of school activities, then is she still in the wrong? When my attorney said usually not until final orders as we use this for ammo during the temp orders, is he correct? Will it matter to the lady conducting the social study (custody evaluation)? Or do I need to take action now? I'm afraid to text her again to remind her I would like to know about my daughter's eye dr appointment.

    Edit - Addon: Also last weekend my daughter told me that her mother said she'd be enrolling her in girl scouts. This really isn't covered under health or education, but isn't it something she should ask me about first, or at least tell me?
  • 01-30-2018, 03:26 PM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    If your order is not yet final, and you want the order to clearly articulate your respective rights to phone access, school records, and medical records, instruct your lawyer to make that part of the negotiation.

    For telephone access, if there is a temporary custody order in effect, review the order. If you cannot identify a violation of the order, you can talk to your lawyer about the possibility of seeking modification to allow reasonable telephone access. If you can identify a violation, you may talk to your lawyer about whether it would make sense to file a motion seeking to enforce that provision.

    For educational records, both parents can ask the school to send them copies of communications and other important documents. If an event calendar is not otherwise available, you can communicate with the school and teachers about events and activities.

    For medical records relating to routine care, one would hope that the parents would be able to communicate between themselves and share information about vaccines, medications and the like, as well as routine care. Both parents can inform the medical provider that they would both like to receive any communication about the child's medical needs and care. If the child has a chronic medical issue that requires coordination of care, and one parent is not cooperative, then the issue may have to be resolved by a court. For an acute conditions, if there is a failure of communication, the aggrieved parent can consider whether it would be a wise investment of time and money to address the issue in court just in case it happens again in the future.

    You can talk to your lawyer about whether, for now, you may take the initiative in scheduling medical care and optometrist visits, informing your ex- of the dates and locations of appointments. If you prefer not to take the lead on those issues, or take responsibility for ensuring that your child makes it to her appointments, you are effectively putting your ex- in the driver's seat despite her apparent unwillingness to communicate.

    If mom wants to enroll the child in girl scouts on mom's parenting time, mom can do that. If you don't want to take the child to a girl scout's meeting that falls on your parenting time, you can choose not to take her. Ideally, you'll discuss and resolve this type of issue with your ex- so as to not involve, or potentially upset or disappoint your child.
  • 01-30-2018, 03:59 PM
    casper646
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    I think all that I wrote was too long. Basically wondering if we should make sure we add clarification in now or wait and use that as ammo against her later so I can prove she's uncooperative.

    As for the rest. I appreciate all your words of advice. First off, I did call the dr office, they told me all they can do is pay $25 for the medical records, but can't give me access to the portal. Next, I wouldn't discourage girl scouts, just hoped I'd be informed. I should call the school. I am usually involved in anything going on, so they know me, but don't like to get in the middle of people's litigation.

    I suppose there's a mistake on my part though by letting her be in the driver's seat. So I am glad that I asked on this forum. There's no reason why I can't do those things since we have equal rights when it comes to those things. I just don't want to schedule extra appointments if there is one already made.

    Basically these are all things that parents are supposed to do in order to 'co-parent' however my ex seems to only want to do the bare minimum. They don't want to micro-manage our relationship, and I'm told these things aren't usually in temp orders because most have common sense of what they are supposed to do.

    Since she replaced my daughter's tablet, effectively blocking any way for her to communicate with me, this was deemed not in the best interest of the child, and to my knowledge was made clear to my ex. This was not in the first draft of the order, mainly because both attorneys told her to allow it. I suppose on her end, since it wasn't written, then she denies the telephone access. So to add it, my attorney asked me when good days / times are. I was assured that it will be included in the next draft with clearly defined rules with times and days, hopefully with my proposal clause of "if respondent unavailable for a specified time, petitioner will reschedule telephone access for the next day."
  • 01-30-2018, 04:31 PM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    Quote:

    Quoting casper646
    View Post
    I think all that I wrote was too long. Basically wondering if we should make sure we add clarification in now or wait and use that as ammo against her later so I can prove she's uncooperative.

    Don't play games. When parents play games, they end up putting the kids in the middle.
  • 01-30-2018, 04:33 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    Pediatricians cannot diagnosis vision problems. If the doctor wrote a referral for your daughter to see a Ophthalmologist. That can take time. Your ex has no control over how the pediatricians office or the ophthalmologist's office handles referrals.
  • 01-30-2018, 05:04 PM
    PMMH
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    If you can get clarification now, do it. Don't hold off so you can "use it against her later". Cover everything now so you aren't dragging it through court whenever there is an issue where you can't agree.
  • 01-30-2018, 05:07 PM
    OKisNotOK
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    Quote:

    Quoting casper646
    View Post
    I think all that I wrote was too long. Basically wondering if we should make sure we add clarification in now or wait and use that as ammo against her later so I can prove she's uncooperative.

    As for the rest. I appreciate all your words of advice. First off, I did call the dr office, they told me all they can do is pay $25 for the medical records, but can't give me access to the portal. Next, I wouldn't discourage girl scouts, just hoped I'd be informed. I should call the school. I am usually involved in anything going on, so they know me, but don't like to get in the middle of people's litigation.

    I suppose there's a mistake on my part though by letting her be in the driver's seat. So I am glad that I asked on this forum. There's no reason why I can't do those things since we have equal rights when it comes to those things. I just don't want to schedule extra appointments if there is one already made.

    Basically these are all things that parents are supposed to do in order to 'co-parent' however my ex seems to only want to do the bare minimum. They don't want to micro-manage our relationship, and I'm told these things aren't usually in temp orders because most have common sense of what they are supposed to do.

    Since she replaced my daughter's tablet, effectively blocking any way for her to communicate with me, this was deemed not in the best interest of the child, and to my knowledge was made clear to my ex. This was not in the first draft of the order, mainly because both attorneys told her to allow it. I suppose on her end, since it wasn't written, then she denies the telephone access. So to add it, my attorney asked me when good days / times are. I was assured that it will be included in the next draft with clearly defined rules with times and days, hopefully with my proposal clause of "if respondent unavailable for a specified time, petitioner will reschedule telephone access for the next day."

    This does not make sense. Ask your attorney and make sure your order lists records access to every type.
  • 01-30-2018, 05:16 PM
    casper646
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    Quote:

    Quoting OKisNotOK
    View Post
    This does not make sense. Ask your attorney and make sure your order lists records access to every type.

    The online doctor's portal. Since it's already associated with her email, they told me the cannot change it, that I have to ask her for the password.

    Quote:

    Quoting PMMH
    View Post
    If you can get clarification now, do it. Don't hold off so you can "use it against her later". Cover everything now so you aren't dragging it through court whenever there is an issue where you can't agree.

    That's what my attorney said first as to why it's not the best idea. But since I did mention these things to him, and he will be discussing it with her attorney, then we will see what the next draft says. For the attorneys, it's about winning. For me, it's hard because it's my kids lives. That's why I asked you guys.

    Quote:

    Quoting Mercy&Grace
    View Post
    Pediatricians cannot diagnosis vision problems. If the doctor wrote a referral for your daughter to see a Ophthalmologist. That can take time. Your ex has no control over how the pediatricians office or the ophthalmologist's office handles referrals.

    You see, you already told me more than she told me. So I suppose I can't make that appointment if she didn't already if that referral isn't ready. I am just going off of what she said when I texted to ask her about the check-up.

    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    Don't play games. When parents play games, they end up putting the kids in the middle.

    I don't want that. I'm not trying to play games. But if you only knew the games that my ex and her mother were up to........
  • 01-30-2018, 09:25 PM
    Mercy&Grace
    Re: What is a Custodial Parent's Duty for Phone Access, or Medical and School Records
    Some insurance companies and doctors do not require referrals. but some do.
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:15 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.4
Copyright © 2023 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2004 - 2018 ExpertLaw.com, All Rights Reserved