How Can a 16-Year-Old Avoid Being Required to Move Home

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Quoting llworking

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You should not try the restraining order either, because that will not work as well. If mom is really out of it just avoiding dealing with mom and use passive stall tactics for the next 18 months.

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This is excellent advice. Addicts are horrible with follow-through. But a TRO may certainly make her angry enough to actually take her child. And I believe you when you say that is NOT in the child's best interest.

Placate Mom. Agree that she has the right to take the child. Heck, you can point out all the ways that a kid would be an inconvenience to her, as long as you don't talk about how crappy she is as a parent. Be as agreeable as you can (and I'm using the global "you" to include anyone in the family who may interact with mom). And keep it up until the girl is 18.

Make sure you let your niece know what the plan is, so she doesn't fear that you're throwing her to the wolves. Also ensure that she has a safety plan in the unlikely case Mom follows through.

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Quoting Shadowbunny

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This is excellent advice. Addicts are horrible with follow-through. But a TRO may certainly make her angry enough to actually take her child. And I believe you when you say that is NOT in the child's best interest.

Placate Mom. Agree that she has the right to take the child. Heck, you can point out all the ways that a kid would be an inconvenience to her, as long as you don't talk about how crappy she is as a parent. Be as agreeable as you can (and I'm using the global "you" to include anyone in the family who may interact with mom). And keep it up until the girl is 18.

Make sure you let your niece know what the plan is, so she doesn't fear that you're throwing her to the wolves. Also ensure that she has a safety plan in the unlikely case Mom follows through.

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I think that I would be more passive than that...I think that I would avoid all discussion of the subject with mom at all, unless there is just no choice. Then maybe placate mom.

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Quoting llworking

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I think that I would be more passive than that...I think that I would avoid all discussion of the subject with mom at all, unless there is just no choice. Then maybe placate mom.

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Oh my goodness yes! There's no reason to poke the bear with a stick. Agreeing with mom is a tactic to be used only when mom is threatening to take the child.

The course of action being taken is that the ex is filing for a restraining order, as to why the mother is upset (he has a new girlfriend and even though she has had many boyfriends and is the one that left, his having a girlfriend is unacceptable). The child is with her grandmother, the hope is once there is a restraining order and she knows she can't come to the home, the child can be returned without her knowledge. The ex does not have the child and therefore cannot return her.

The mother has repeatedly abandoned the child and hasn't been in the home for any length of time in over 6 months, meaning she may stop to see the kids but doesn't live there or support the kids.

It is correct that the child does not wish to run away she wishes to stay in her home and not to live in a car with her mother.

Child protective services in this area does not act quickly or efficiently and we are afraid for good reason that the child will come to harm if the mother has her way.

I came to this forum to explore options and while I did not hear what I wanted to hear, what I heard has given us a good idea of what we need to do, which is passive avoidance of the mother until we can get her help, she clams down or she is arrested. The main thing is to keep the child safe and keep the courts from demanding her returned to her mother.

The child is very aware and active in her well-being, we are taking her wishes into account as much as possible, she has a cell phone and will call 911 and as soon as her mother approaches. She has a plan to do whatever possible to not leave with the mother. She understands that she could be required to go with her mother, but the hope is her refusal will ramp up the mother so when the cops arrive it will be obvious that is not a good idea and CPS or someone will be called instead. She is a smart kid and has dealt with her mother her entire life, sad, but she is used to the situation.

Right now the mother is okay as long as the child is not in the house with the ex and his new girlfriend, she doesn't really care where she is as long as she feels she is punishing him. At least that is today's story.

We all are used to dealing with the roller coaster of emotions and threats the mother brings to the table. Again my goal here was to find a permanent solution ie: Emancipation, since that is not an option we continue as before. The TRO by the ex is necessary to protect his new girlfriend and himself, the mother is capable of much.

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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Out of curiosity. What type of proof do you have the mother is involved in human trafficking and drugs ? What type of proof do you gave these homes are involved in human trafficking and drugs ? Where the homes are located is not enough.Opinions are not enough.

You mentioned trying to get mom the help she needs. Unfortunately, mom has to admit she has,problem And want and ask for help. No one else can do these things for her.

When someone is a victim of human trafficking. They do not get to choose where they spend their nights. They do not get to make any choices or decisions.

I don't mean to sound harsh or cold. But, the way you and your family view the people mom associates,with. And the way the courts view them. May not be the same way. The courts have to view things based on evidence. Not on the opinions or beliefs of others

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I will not go into details here as it is not pertinent to what I am trying to accomplish, but it is more than opinion or imaginary. My goal is to seek protection for the child I don't care to waste time or energy on convincing anyone of what we and most law enforcement agencies know to be true. I will say there are ongoing investigations and we have good knowledge of what we are alleging

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Quoting llworking

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In this case however, its a case of the child wanting to STAY home. The child is living where she has always known home to be, and mom is living in her car. Mom is threatening to make the child live with her in her car.

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EXACTLY!!!!