Custodial Parent Refuses to Assist With Travel Expenses

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Pennsylvania.

My ex-wife and I went through mediation for our divorce. We developed a local and long distance parenting plan. I agree that I will pay for HIS costs to travel to me for the holidays. She is in PA but I relocated to TX for work. I had no choice because I needed a job to pay for child support and stop living off of credit cards. The move benefitted myself, HER and OUR SON. Now we are discussing visitation for Christmas, which I get him for the entire time. She was about to debate that we must split his Xmas vacation; however, it was stated in our "long-distance" parenting agreement that I get our son for the ENTIRE holiday.

My question relates to the costs associated with travel. I agree that I "MUST" be responsible for his plane ticket because I was the one that "left" PA. However, she will NOT agree on him flying alone. He is 8 yrs old. Now, all airlines have minor travel policies and it will cost an additional $100 each way to accommodate that. She will NOT agree for him to fly alone. So, I have to have my mother or brother fly with him during the holidays. That is doubling my costs and she will NOT help me with the additional costs. She states that I must do "whatever" I need to do to have him visit. If no one flies with him, she will NOT let him come and visit.

What are your thoughts on this situation? It isn't fair that she has so much control over things. I pay her $1,000/mth for support but she lives with her sister and not paying for ANY household bills. I can go on and on but will bite my "fingers" this time. Thanks for your comments.

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Quoting drvortex

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Pennsylvania.

My ex-wife and I went through mediation for our divorce. We developed a local and long distance parenting plan. I agree that I will pay for HIS costs to travel to me for the holidays. She is in PA but I relocated to TX for work. I had no choice because I needed a job to pay for child support and stop living off of credit cards. The move benefitted myself, HER and OUR SON. Now we are discussing visitation for Christmas, which I get him for the entire time. She was about to debate that we must split his Xmas vacation; however, it was stated in our "long-distance" parenting agreement that I get our son for the ENTIRE holiday.

My question relates to the costs associated with travel. I agree that I "MUST" be responsible for his plane ticket because I was the one that "left" PA. However, she will NOT agree on him flying alone. He is 8 yrs old. Now, all airlines have minor travel policies and it will cost an additional $100 each way to accommodate that. She will NOT agree for him to fly alone. So, I have to have my mother or brother fly with him during the holidays. That is doubling my costs and she will NOT help me with the additional costs. She states that I must do "whatever" I need to do to have him visit. If no one flies with him, she will NOT let him come and visit.

What are your thoughts on this situation? It isn't fair that she has so much control over things. I pay her $1,000/mth for support but she lives with her sister and not paying for ANY household bills. I can go on and on but will bite my "fingers" this time. Thanks for your comments.

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Your only choice would be to take it back to court to have transportation for visitation clarified by the judge. I will tell you that every judge is a little different in their beliefs about when children should be able to fly alone. Some are just fine with whatever the airlines accept, others feel that children as old as 10 are still too young to fly alone.

I will also tell you that a judge won't give you all of Christmas Break, every year. Generally its every other Christmas Break or one week each during Christmas Break. So if that is a bone of contention between the two of you now, expect her to address that if you go back to court.

Keep your opinions about the bolded to yourself. Expressing them will only cause you trouble.

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Quoting llworking

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Your only choice would be to take it back to court to have transportation for visitation clarified by the judge. I will tell you that every judge is a little different in their beliefs about when children should be able to fly alone. Some are just fine with whatever the airlines accept, others feel that children as old as 10 are still too young to fly alone.

I will also tell you that a judge won't give you all of Christmas Break, every year. Generally its every other Christmas Break or one week each during Christmas Break. So if that is a bone of contention between the two of you now, expect her to address that if you go back to court.

Keep your opinions about the bolded to yourself. Expressing them will only cause you trouble.

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Thanks for your thoughts. I know about the "bolded" statement. That will only put salt in the wounds and make matters worse. We do already split the holidays. I had him last year for Thanksgiving (when I was still in PA) but this year is when I get him for Xmas. We do alternating years and a month during the Summer. Thanks for the how a judge will look at it. I understand him not flying alone, but why is it ok for the visiting parent to pay for all of it. Just doesn't make sense but a lot of things in life don't make sense.

Anyway, the most important thing is seeing my son. I will do whatever needs to be done to make that happen. I will probably just go ahead and buy 2 tickets and call it day. Thanks again and have a great week.

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Quoting drvortex

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I understand him not flying alone, but why is it ok for the visiting parent to pay for all of it.

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It makes perfect sense because it is not the visiting parent - it is the parent who created the distance.

You are certainly free to go to court to ask for a clarification specifically allowing the child to fly alone, or to ask that she pay for half the travel.