How to Get Permission to Relocate With the Children

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: AL

I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years. We got married right out of high school and had 3 boys together. Our oldest is living on his own because he’s 20, but our 10 and 12 year old boys live with us in AL. He took a job here in Jan and moved here in Geb while I stayed with our boys in FL until the school semesters were over. We moved here at the end of July. A month later I found out that he had been cheating on me for months. Basically the whole time he was living here and we were in FL.

At this point we have been here 3 months. I offered to forgive him and try him to keep our family together. My kids had only started school in a new place just a couple of weeks before I found out what he had been doing. It was heartbreaking that he let me move the family here thinking we would be a family again only for him to continue seeing this other woman after we got here.

I have no family here. No friends. No support. All of our family lives in KY and my mom said we can come stay there with her. I have been a stay at home mom for the majority of our marriage only having low wage jobs a few times. I left 3 universities following him from state to state while he built his career. So I have never finished my degree and have no income. Cannot take care of myself. I’m at his mercy for funds because we have separate checking accounts now.

The only way I’ll ever be able to make it is with spousal support and child support with the help of my family in KY. I suffer from anxiety and have had to go to the Dr twice because all of this has been eating me alive and I am not well. My health is suffering. I need to get out of this toxic situation. He is not remorseful. He is mean and hateful towards me even though 3 weeks ago he was asking for my forgiveness and said the nightmare was over.

I have not seen a lawyer yet hoping everything would work out but he is not trying anymore. I have been by his side for 20 years and he doesn't care anymore. He told me last night that we should just leave today. Obviously I am scared of taking them and being forced to come back here where I have NOTHING. There have been no papers filed or arrangements set up. He has not been an involved father for the most part. He's always put his career before everyone and everything. I'm not sure what to do because he's acting like he doesn't care if we leave but I know eventually he will care and he could make things really difficult for me. Should I record what he's saying to me about leaving? I have proof of the affair from the other woman so that will not be hard to prove but I'm not even a resident technically as I have only been here for 3 months and we've had a lease for 3 months. The rest of the time he was staying with an aunt. I will need to file here in AL because KY is a no fault state and in AL I can file for divorce because of adultry.

I'm trying to protect the kids as best I can but living here with him acting how he's acting and me being pretty much sick from anxiety is not working. I'm not sure what to do!

Good attorney. Now.

You do need to go to work. If you have never worked outside the home you might be able to go to a school that will train you in 1 yr. You may or may not qualify for a,Pell Grant or other government assistance to help with the cost. If not, you can get a job and learn as you go.

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Quoting sweetsouthernpineapple

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: AL

I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years. We got married right out of high school and had 3 boys together. Our oldest is living on his own because he’s 20, but our 10 and 12 year old boys live with us in AL. He took a job here in Jan and moved here in Geb while I stayed with our boys in FL until the school semesters were over. We moved here at the end of July. A month later I found out that he had been cheating on me for months. Basically the whole time he was living here and we were in FL.

At this point we have been here 3 months. I offered to forgive him and try him to keep our family together. My kids had only started school in a new place just a couple of weeks before I found out what he had been doing. It was heartbreaking that he let me move the family here thinking we would be a family again only for him to continue seeing this other woman after we got here.

I have no family here. No friends. No support. All of our family lives in KY and my mom said we can come stay there with her. I have been a stay at home mom for the majority of our marriage only having low wage jobs a few times. I left 3 universities following him from state to state while he built his career. So I have never finished my degree and have no income. Cannot take care of myself. I’m at his mercy for funds because we have separate checking accounts now.

The only way I’ll ever be able to make it is with spousal support and child support with the help of my family in KY. I suffer from anxiety and have had to go to the Dr twice because all of this has been eating me alive and I am not well. My health is suffering. I need to get out of this toxic situation. He is not remorseful. He is mean and hateful towards me even though 3 weeks ago he was asking for my forgiveness and said the nightmare was over.

I have not seen a lawyer yet hoping everything would work out but he is not trying anymore. I have been by his side for 20 years and he doesn't care anymore. He told me last night that we should just leave today. Obviously I am scared of taking them and being forced to come back here where I have NOTHING. There have been no papers filed or arrangements set up. He has not been an involved father for the most part. He's always put his career before everyone and everything. I'm not sure what to do because he's acting like he doesn't care if we leave but I know eventually he will care and he could make things really difficult for me. Should I record what he's saying to me about leaving? I have proof of the affair from the other woman so that will not be hard to prove but I'm not even a resident technically as I have only been here for 3 months and we've had a lease for 3 months. The rest of the time he was staying with an aunt. I will need to file here in AL because KY is a no fault state and in AL I can file for divorce because of adultry.

I'm trying to protect the kids as best I can but living here with him acting how he's acting and me being pretty much sick from anxiety is not working. I'm not sure what to do!

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Could you please clarify the timeline?

What do you hope to gain by not having a no-fault divorce?

Yes, I will eventually get a job. I will have no other choice. I was saying until I'm able to get on my feet that spousal support and child support will be key. I can finish my degree. I am very close. I just left my last university to move here.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Could you please clarify the timeline?

What do you hope to gain by not having a no-fault divorce?

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The timeline is my husband got a job in AL in January and moved in Feb. of this year.
We stayed in FL to finish school. The kids loved their school and I was taking classes as well.
In June we found a house in AL and signed a lease for July.
We moved on July 22 to AL.
I found out about his affair on August 23rd.

Well, if I do move to KY then I will have to wait another 6 months to file as I have not been a resident there since 2005. That would leave filing up to him here and I don't want to leave any of this up to him as he is not in his right mind and has blown lots of money over the last several months so who knows if he would ever file.

I guess putting him at fault makes me feel a little better but I guess I have assumed that a judge will be harder on him with spousal support if I am able to present evidence that he caused the divorce, not me. The other woman also offered to testify and she is here in the state. He has been up to lots of things while he was living alone here that could also influence any custody he seeks such as alcohol, drugs, and who knows what else she knows about.

You need an attorney.

Most universities have rules requiring that the last one to two years worth of credits be completed there and limit the number of credits that can transfer in. If you are depending on the degree, you may needd to plan to return to your former home to finish school. Check before you make any other plans.

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Quoting OKisNotOK

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Most universities have rules requiring that the last one to two years worth of credits be completed there and limit the number of credits that can transfer in. If you are depending on the degree, you may needd to plan to return to your former home to finish school. Check before you make any other plans.

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Thank you for giving me something else to look into. I would be returning to one of my previous universities moving to KY so hopefully there would not be any issues but something to think about. I am a senior in credit hours so hopefully they would take me back!

Be sure to talk to the appropriate office when you check on transfer credit. Your major's department head is unlikely to be able to authorize acceptance of credits.

Check also the options for "displaced homemakers" or whatever they are calling it now. There are often scholarships available as well as access to university apartments suitable for families.