Can You Be Charged Daycare Expenses for Care Provided by Grandparents

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Quoting qwaspolk69

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It's not your money once you pay for daycare. It's the daycare provider's money - i.e. grandma and grandpa - so at that point they can use it for whatever they want to use it for. Why are you getting her clothes if she's getting them from her grandmother? There cuts a cost right there.

It's not a competition of who can buy the nicest things. If she gets clothes and toys from her grandma that often then you don't need to buy her anything unless it's her birthday or Christmas.

"How long does a child have to wear the same outfit that doesn't fit before someone realizes there is a serious issue on the other parent. How many days is ok for a child to eat hot dogs or spaghetti or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, really? Know what I mean there? "

This makes no sense - if grandma is buying her new clothes weekly then how is she wearing clothes that don't fit?

What's wrong with hot dogs and spaghetti and PB*J? She's eating right? She's being fed? And how the hell do you know what all she eats on a daily basis? This is the petty crap among parents that pisses me off. If she was being starved or abused or neglected then you have an issue but you go from saying how she gets everything she wants to "oh she eats this and this and this" and trying to imply that they don't feed her well.

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Let me try and put out this fire real quick... or make it worse...

I totally get what you are saying that it's theirs to do with as they see fit. I'm ranting and i don't agree with the way they are going about it. Now, on to the bricks that you are throwing at me because you are misunderstanding or misinterpreting or maybe I'm misspeaking with the way I'm wording things...

1: The reason I am getting her clothes is because her mother, grandparents and I all have separate homes. It has been made abundantly clear to me by the mother and MGPs that nothing, and i mean nothing including clothes and toys is interchangeable and will not be shared. I can't not buy her clothes as she would have to be wearing the same outfit i picked her up in, washed and put back on her, for 4 days... The clothes I do have at my house are rapidly being grown out of but no extra money is coming in in order for me to afford a lot more, but she has clothes, yes.

2: Nothing wrong with those foods as you pointed out, yes she is being fed etc. What I was saying is that was all THAT I can afford to feed her given the exorbitant amount of support I'm ordered to pay. Is she eating, yes; is she alive, absolutely. Would I like to be able to provide her a nice outfit more often than once a month or so, yes; would I love for her to experience new types of foods or eat a better diet for her own benefit,you're god damn right. Hot dogs and spaghetti, while filling, do not provide a significant source of good fats, oils, and nutrients etc. And before you even say anything about chewable vitamins... see "lack of money" above.

3: I never cared about that stuff either. You actually got a car?? I had to buy my own, but I digress. My daughter has fun with me and her blended family. We do things that we can afford when we can save enough for it and we play at the park or whatever if we can't. I'm not saying I don't want to pay, not at all, I'm just saying that I'm very sick of the ex always getting her way and me getting the shaft simply because I'm a man who wants to see his child and be able to comfortably provide for her and she's a bitch who doesn't care what happens to me and doesn't realize that she is actually hurting our daughter and not me.

It's not about me, folks. That's my point.

It's daycare tax deductible? If you are paying the grandparents your portion of the daycare, then you get to claim that on your taxes. If you are not, then I would request a modification to the order so you can claim your portion on your taxes.

Otherwise, that is the best you are going to do... what she's doing sounds slimy, but isn't illegal.

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Quoting oldsmom

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It's daycare tax deductible? If you are paying the grandparents your portion of the daycare, then you get to claim that on your taxes. If you are not, then I would request a modification to the order so you can claim your portion on your taxes.

Otherwise, that is the best you are going to do... what she's doing sounds slimy, but isn't illegal.

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No, that is ABSOLUTELY INCORRECT

The only party that can claim a daycare credit is the custodial parents as the IRS defines custodial parent. That is the parent at whose house the child sleeps the greater number of overnights per year. I am going to guess that is mom since the whole daycare issue exists. The state court cannot order that the non-custodial parent get to claim a daycare credit, ever.

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Quoting SadDaddy80

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Let me try and put out this fire real quick... or make it worse...

I totally get what you are saying that it's theirs to do with as they see fit. I'm ranting and i don't agree with the way they are going about it. Now, on to the bricks that you are throwing at me because you are misunderstanding or misinterpreting or maybe I'm misspeaking with the way I'm wording things...

1: The reason I am getting her clothes is because her mother, grandparents and I all have separate homes. It has been made abundantly clear to me by the mother and MGPs that nothing, and i mean nothing including clothes and toys is interchangeable and will not be shared. I can't not buy her clothes as she would have to be wearing the same outfit i picked her up in, washed and put back on her, for 4 days... The clothes I do have at my house are rapidly being grown out of but no extra money is coming in in order for me to afford a lot more, but she has clothes, yes.

2: Nothing wrong with those foods as you pointed out, yes she is being fed etc. What I was saying is that was all THAT I can afford to feed her given the exorbitant amount of support I'm ordered to pay. Is she eating, yes; is she alive, absolutely. Would I like to be able to provide her a nice outfit more often than once a month or so, yes; would I love for her to experience new types of foods or eat a better diet for her own benefit,you're god damn right. Hot dogs and spaghetti, while filling, do not provide a significant source of good fats, oils, and nutrients etc. And before you even say anything about chewable vitamins... see "lack of money" above.

3: I never cared about that stuff either. You actually got a car?? I had to buy my own, but I digress. My daughter has fun with me and her blended family. We do things that we can afford when we can save enough for it and we play at the park or whatever if we can't. I'm not saying I don't want to pay, not at all, I'm just saying that I'm very sick of the ex always getting her way and me getting the shaft simply because I'm a man who wants to see his child and be able to comfortably provide for her and she's a bitch who doesn't care what happens to me and doesn't realize that she is actually hurting our daughter and not me.

It's not about me, folks. That's my point.

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1.) 2nd hand stores are your friend. Use them. I have been down your road and this is how I kept the kids clothed.

2.) There is nothing you can do about this. Nor do you want to. Think about it this way - you wouldn't want to ex dictating what happens in your home, so don't do that to her. You aren't going to agree with her parenting decisions. She isn't going to agree with yours. That is called parallel parenting, and it's something you will want to find peace in.

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Quoting oldsmom

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1.) 2nd hand stores are your friend. Use them. I have been down your road and this is how I kept the kids clothed.

2.) There is nothing you can do about this. Nor do you want to. Think about it this way - you wouldn't want to ex dictating what happens in your home, so don't do that to her. You aren't going to agree with her parenting decisions. She isn't going to agree with yours. That is called parallel parenting, and it's something you will want to find peace in.

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Yard sales can be good as well. Goodwill Stores are a great place to buy children's clothing. If you go to the one on the richer side of town, you can often get really great stuff that has barely been worn.

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Quoting SadDaddy80

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Let me try and put out this fire real quick... or make it worse...

I totally get what you are saying that it's theirs to do with as they see fit. I'm ranting and i don't agree with the way they are going about it. Now, on to the bricks that you are throwing at me because you are misunderstanding or misinterpreting or maybe I'm misspeaking with the way I'm wording things...

1: The reason I am getting her clothes is because her mother, grandparents and I all have separate homes. It has been made abundantly clear to me by the mother and MGPs that nothing, and i mean nothing including clothes and toys is interchangeable and will not be shared. I can't not buy her clothes as she would have to be wearing the same outfit i picked her up in, washed and put back on her, for 4 days... The clothes I do have at my house are rapidly being grown out of but no extra money is coming in in order for me to afford a lot more, but she has clothes, yes.

2: Nothing wrong with those foods as you pointed out, yes she is being fed etc. What I was saying is that was all THAT I can afford to feed her given the exorbitant amount of support I'm ordered to pay. Is she eating, yes; is she alive, absolutely. Would I like to be able to provide her a nice outfit more often than once a month or so, yes; would I love for her to experience new types of foods or eat a better diet for her own benefit,you're god damn right. Hot dogs and spaghetti, while filling, do not provide a significant source of good fats, oils, and nutrients etc. And before you even say anything about chewable vitamins... see "lack of money" above.

3: I never cared about that stuff either. You actually got a car?? I had to buy my own, but I digress. My daughter has fun with me and her blended family. We do things that we can afford when we can save enough for it and we play at the park or whatever if we can't. I'm not saying I don't want to pay, not at all, I'm just saying that I'm very sick of the ex always getting her way and me getting the shaft simply because I'm a man who wants to see his child and be able to comfortably provide for her and she's a bitch who doesn't care what happens to me and doesn't realize that she is actually hurting our daughter and not me.

It's not about me, folks. That's my point.

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1. Clothes are clothes. I don't buy my daughter expensive clothes. I buy her clothes from Walmart whenever I can and if I see something at a thrift store I'll buy it. It's probably better to buy cheap clothes when she grows so much. If she has younger siblings then you can pass them on.

2. I never said they were healthy and never was going to mention vitamins. I thought you were trying to say the mom feeds her those foods and that she was neglecting her because you give her money or something. Misread that one.

3. I didn't "get" a car. I drove a busted up 1979 station wagon when I was 17 and I couldn't leave town with it. My dad was afraid it would break down. He would get "newer" used cars and when I got into college when he would get a different car he let me USE an old one. He never gave them to me. I borrowed them. He helped me get a 1984 Chevy Parisian (sp) in college. I paid the loan payments. It broke down right before I went to basic. So no I did not "get" my own car. I got to borrow cars. I'm not going into the bitch comment and doesn't care about you and so on.

It sounds like it's about you. That's my perception.

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Quoting llworking

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Yard sales can be good as well. Goodwill Stores are a great place to buy children's clothing. If you go to the one on the richer side of town, you can often get really great stuff that has barely been worn.

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I have donated clothes with the tag still on (not rich by any means) because my daughter grew out of them so fast when she was an infant into toddler. I had clothes in my closet that had tags on them still from years ago I donated because I knew I wouldn't wear (like to go out I don't get to adult often).

Actually, look not at the cost of preschools but at daycare homes. These are cheaper; I looked at PA online and it look like as much as $10/day depending on the age of the child. They would also have to have state inspectors visit and would have to have insurance and pay taxes on the income.

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Quoting OKisNotOK

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Actually, look not at the cost of preschools but at daycare homes. These are cheaper; I looked at PA online and it look like as much as $10/day depending on the age of the child. They would also have to have state inspectors visit and would have to have insurance and pay taxes on the income.

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I do not know where you are located but a day care home in most areas costs a heck of a lot more than $10.00 a day. We are pretty low cost of living where I am and its more like $20.00 to $25.00 a day for a daycare home for older kids and more like $200.00 a week for infants.

Except Mom has a whole bunch of status quo on her side, using her parents as caregivers.

Seriously, Dad, for someone who's claiming that this isn't about you ... you're doing a good job of doing exactly that.

I was not clear:

$10 / day less at a daycare home than a preschool