Grandparents are Suing for Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: South Dakota.

My children's father passed over 5 years ago. His parents begged for a relationship to continue with my children and I had no problem. Until they out of no where took me to court for full custody of my children. They lost that battle and were only granted 2 days visitation in sept of 2014. I shortened the amount of time they saw my children because my children were coming home telling me they weren't allowed to like certain members of their family because their grandmother said they were bad. Or coming home and would attack me verbally saying they hated me, I was a bad person and the reason their father died. When asked who said such things to them I was told their grandma. I told her one last time if she didn't stop with the negativity and lies she would no longer be allowed to see my children.

When it didn't stop and just got worse I didn't allow them any contact what so ever with my children. They resorted in harassing my new boyfriends family and friends spreading horrible rumors about me. I again told her if she didn't stop harassing us and spreading lies I would get a restraining order. For 2 years my children haven't seen their grandparents because of their actions but have had other contact with family members from their dad's side of the family. My children have not said they hated me since and my relationship has grown so much and our bond is stronger then ever.

They are now trying to get visitation with my children. What chance do they have of winning? Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

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Quoting Mychildrenrmylife

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: South Dakota.

My children's father passed over 5 years ago. His parents begged for a relationship to continue with my children and I had no problem. Until they out of no where took me to court for full custody of my children. They lost that battle and were only granted 2 days visitation in sept of 2014. I shortened the amount of time they saw my children because my children were coming home telling me they weren't allowed to like certain members of their family because their grandmother said they were bad. Or coming home and would attack me verbally saying they hated me, I was a bad person and the reason their father died. When asked who said such things to them I was told their grandma. I told her one last time if she didn't stop with the negativity and lies she would no longer be allowed to see my children.

When it didn't stop and just got worse I didn't allow them any contact what so ever with my children. They resorted in harassing my new boyfriends family and friends spreading horrible rumors about me. I again told her if she didn't stop harassing us and spreading lies I would get a restraining order. For 2 years my children haven't seen their grandparents because of their actions but have had other contact with family members from their dad's side of the family. My children have not said they hated me since and my relationship has grown so much and our bond is stronger then ever.

They are now trying to get visitation with my children. What chance do they have of winning? Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

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You stated that they were granted visitation in 2014. Have you been disobeying that court order or did you get it vacated? Are they attempting to have you held in contempt for not obeying that order, or is this a whole new visitation case?

How old are your children?

They were only granted 2 days in the month of Sept 2014 and nothing else. I tried to work with them outside of court to allow them to see my children after that. I stopped working with them when my children were coming acting completely different. There hasnt been a court ordered visitation yet thats why they are taking me to court now. Why it took two years I don't know. My children are 9, 8 and 6

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Quoting Mychildrenrmylife

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They were only granted 2 days in the month of Sept 2014 and nothing else. I tried to work with them outside of court to allow them to see my children after that. I stopped working with them when my children were coming acting completely different. There hasnt been a court ordered visitation yet thats why they are taking me to court now. Why it took two years I don't know. My children are 9, 8 and 6

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Ok, then you need to find an attorney who is experienced is dealing with third party visitation cases on the side of the parents. You also need to be prepared NOT to settle or mediate the case (even though you will be encouraged to do so perhaps even by your attorney) but to force the judge to hear the case and decide it on its merits.

You can demonstrate that your children have gone two years without any contact with the grandparents and that they are happy, healthy and doing better than they were doing when they had the grandparents in their life. You argue all of the previous negativity and how it impacted your children.

The most important thing though honestly is NOT to settle and to make the judge decide the case on its merits. That gives you the opportunity to appeal if the judge makes the wrong decision.

Okay thank you very much. I wasn't planning on settling and was ready to fight this as long as I had to.

How old are the children?

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Quoting llworking

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The most important thing though honestly is NOT to settle and to make the judge decide the case on its merits. That gives you the opportunity to appeal if the judge makes the wrong decision.

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I disagree. We don't know nearly enough about this situation to give out that kind of advice in my view. Sometimes settling will get you a better outcome than you’d if the judge decides it. If you are dead set against any visitation at all and want to see if the judge will deny the petition entirely, that’s one thing. But if you are willing to agree to some visitation you may fare better negotiating something on your terms rather than risking what the judge imposes. A lawyer familiar with how the South Dakota courts, and this particular judge, tend to handle these kinds of cases can provide a lot more insight on what risks you have in taking this to trial.

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Quoting Taxing Matters

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I disagree. We don't know nearly enough about this situation to give out that kind of advice in my view. Sometimes settling will get you a better outcome than you’d if the judge decides it. If you are dead set against any visitation at all and want to see if the judge will deny the petition entirely, that’s one thing. But if you are willing to agree to some visitation you may fare better negotiating something on your terms rather than risking what the judge imposes. A lawyer familiar with how the South Dakota courts, and this particular judge, tend to handle these kinds of cases can provide a lot more insight on what risks you have in taking this to trial.

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That might have been true 20 years ago, but ever since the USSC decision in Troxel vs Granville the courts are required to presume that fit parents are acting in the best interest of their children. It takes a lot to overcome that and its a rare third party visitation case where there is enough to actually overcome that.

It has been demonstrated, time after time that it is MUCH more difficult to get a court ordered agreement vacated in a third party visitation case than it is to get a judge's order vacated when circumstances show that it should be vacated.

It is conventional wisdom that a parent should NEVER settle or mediate a third party visitation case. This is not my opinion, it is the opinion of some of the smartest legal minds in this country on this particular subject. These cases should always be decided on the merits. We are not talking about a case where two parents have equal legal and constitutional rights regarding a child. We are talking about a case where a third party is attempting to convince a court to violate the constitutional rights of a parent or parents.