Sexual Abuse, California P.C. Sec. 288(a)

My question involves criminal law for the state of: California


I made a terrible mistake... Basically... I touched someone way too young, in a place I shouldn't have touched them... one time for about 10 seconds above the clothes..

Not trying to defending myself in any way, but I'd like to establish that I'm actually a very good hearted person, not one of those terrible monsters...
But I don't expect anyone to believe/understand that....
So I'll just explain anyway in case anyone DOES care...
I grew up with under-age pornography since the age of about 14 thanks to Napster/shareaza...
As I grew older around 22-23 I realized that it was wrong for me to still be watching that stuff... but by that point it was kind of my preference...

Based on society always trying to help women look younger and Halloween costumes for kids looking nearly like hookers... and the fact that there was SO much under-age porn out there... I guess I told myself it wasn't THAT abnormal, as long as I never acted on it..

Considering I never had any in person urges... I didn't really consider it a big issue.. it was a personal thing for me to work on/stop, and I was trying to stop watching it, but not completely successfully...

Around age 26 I met a girl my age online and we kind of fell for each other... it didn't matter to me that she had a kid... never had any issues in real life with anyone and I'd been around plenty of kids...

We fell in love, and after some time I was having some family problems at home, so I moved in with her at her moms.. There wasn't a whole lot of room so we shared a room (separate beds), with her daughter who was 3, almost 4 at the time...

it sickens me to admit this... but I came back from the restroom one night, and saw her daughter... "doing something" in her sleep... and for some reason that image drew me in... I'm guessing because it was kind of like what I'd seen in videos... and I stupidly thought I'd "help" her with what she was doing... above clothes... after about 10 seconds, she woke up, I immediately stopped and ducked down... she went back to sleep, and I eventually fell back asleep, but had a difficult time due to how distraught I was realizing what I'd done...

Within a day or two, I told her mother, my girlfriend at the time, what I'd done...
There was a bit of a fight, but we stayed together... she knew I sincerely didn't want to do what I did... I was truly sorry and that there was no danger from me...

Fast forward a year and a half... me and my girlfriend were together, but had broken up once or twice due to differences in our opinions of how to go about having an open relationship... I'm still depressed.... suicidal... had no way to seek help for my "affliction" due to the mandatory reporting laws and the fears of tearing apart their lives even more with CPS, investigations etc...

So I told my parents about my issue.... and what I'd done... they didn't really have any advice or help for me either... so life went on....
At that point my girlfriend had a job and worked nights... this made my dad uncomfortable, because I was watching her daughter... alone...
This didn't become an issue... except that my dad was so worried he started talking to his VA therapist... he wasn't telling them what I did... but he was telling them that I did SOMETHING terrible... and he just couldn't say what...

Eventually one of them told him that no matter WHAT he said... it wouldn't leave them... she wouldn't say anything.
He said at that point that I'd confessed an attraction to teenage girls...
I'm guessing they realized that previously he was saying I "DID" something... and they knew I lived with the kid... so she cried... but reported to CPS...

So this is 2 years after the original incident...
The police came in later the same day that my dad told his therapist... took the daughter from my girlfriend... took me and her to the police station and started questioning us separately...

At first I just told the police what my dad told me to say.. that it was just an attraction to teenage girls... because anything else was hearsay...
Well.. The daughter remembered what I'd done... and named me as doing what I'd done...
So at that point I was read my rights... and I confessed everything...

Now I'm out on bail... I bailed out my (now Ex) girlfriend... and we haven't spoken since...
I'm waiting to go to court... since I haven't had an arraignment yet but so far, I've got Sexual abuse (288a), assault, and exploitation... I'm expecting at LEAST 3 years... (The assault is because of some bruise on her head where she said I hit her with a tablet.. it was an accident that it hit her hard enough to leave a bruise... but whatever accident or not, I'll deal with the consequences )



So I'm thinking about writing a letter to the judge... just to help him understand that it was a mistake, it's not WHO I AM...
wondering about why my lawyer doesn't want to even start building the case or meet with me until the arraignment..

I'm a thin... kind of good looking guy definitely not meant for prison... but having been very suicidal about what I'd done for so long... I really don't care what happens to me...
but the way I am... I don't want to be a tax burden on society and my family and job need me... (for the past 6 years, I've been doing IT work, working 9-6) and I will miss my two cats =(

I know what I did makes me one of the most hated people on the planet... but the reality is, there is next to NO help for anyone like me... even before they "act" on their urges...

I know I'm guilty... and I've BEEN ready to pay for my mistakes for 2 years now... is my situation as hopeless as I think it is?

Writing a letter won't help you. Your attorney would tell you the same thing.

You really need to be talking to your attorney and only your attorney about this.

I'm pretty much in agreement about the letter... but will likely still try...

I'm wondering why you say I should only talk with my attorney about this?
Is there some kind of legal reason?
since I'm likely going to jail anyway... and I don't really care about what happens to me since I feel I'm deserving of punishment...
What makes you think it shouldn't be talked about?? or is it just that it makes people uncomfortable?

I mean... from where I stand... it seems like this entire issue is completely under-talked about...
Part of why I made this post, is that my attorney doesn't really seem to want to discuss it either until after the arraignment...

If you'd rather your tax dollars go to housing, clothing and feeding people in jail... than to figuring out and preventing these kinds of things from happening in the first place... Then sure... we should all stop discussing this kind of thing... but I personally hope that this stuff can be ended...


Not that it matters at all in this situation... actually, I know it doesn't matter at all,
but I KNOW I'm actually a really good person... I grew up christian.. not the fire and brimstone kind... but the love thy neighbor kind.. My job is helping people fix their computer issues.. and besides that outside of work, I try to help everyone I can with anything they want/need help with... I let people go in front of me in lines or crosswalks... just in general I try to be the best person I can be... I made a mistake... because of this "issue" whatever you want to label it as...

But my only point is only that there are GOOD PEOPLE out there... who have this problem. and who are completely UNABLE to receive any help for it... in large because nobody including therapists want to talk about it...

Anyway... this is a legal advice forum... thought I might get some ideas if it was normal for my attorney to not be trying to build any case before the arraignment or if anyone had any experience with similar types of cases and had any advice...

But I also completely understand if nobody would dare help someone like me...


just hope your kids never develop this condition/affliction.

1. DO NOT SEND A LETTER TO THE JUDGE. IT WON'T HELP AND IT COULD SERIOUSLY HURT. Anything you send the judge will get forwarded on to the DA's office and they are not and will never be sympathetic. If you anticipate you might want go to trial, that letter will serve to hang you so DON'T DO IT.
2. You speak only with your attorney because everything you say to your counsel is privileged/protected from disclosure.
3. The presumptive sentence is 6 years for a 288a and you will have to serve 85% in addition to having to register as sex offender for the rest of your life.
4. There are a lot of steps between getting charged and going to trial. You said you haven't even been arraigned yet so you can't be sure that what you think you're charged with now is what the charges will end up being. There's no point in talking to you about the case until you are arraigned and he has all the paperwork. You can't "build a case" on guesswork as to what the DA may charge. They can amend the charges after their filed. AND, if it goes to a preliminary hearing, the child or your girlfriend could testify to all sorts of things that add to what you're facing.
5. No one can predict what the outcome might be.
6. As to getting help--nothing was stopping you from seeking therapy if you really wanted help. There's counseling available in prison.

Thanks for the response...
Understood.

The only thing I kind of disagree with is that "nothing" was stopping me from getting help if I really wanted it...
I guess fear was... and in my opinion people shouldn't have to fear getting help for something... murderers can seek help without being reported, not people with this issue... and from the looking I have done... a lot of people get turned away by therapists on top of being reported/investigated... not a lot of people want to deal with helping people with this issue... that's why people have formed an online support group Virped. but that's not really much but an AA meeting more or less... but your right...
I guess I could have/should have risked it all and gone for help... no matter what it would have been better than what did happen...
but I really didn't expect to ever do what I did... but that's besides the point, hindsight is 20/20.

Either way, thank you for the response... very appreciated.

SIDE NOTE, 288a is what they put on the paper... but there was never anything oral... the laws seem to state different things depending on where you look...

PC 288(a) is generally punishable by 3, 6 or 8 years in state prison. PC 288a, less so. Though, specifics matter and can increase these penalties.

As others have said, ONLY speak to your attorney on the matter.

The judge will never read your letter. That's a fact so don't even waste your time. Your ex should have dumped you the minute you told her what you did AND called the police on your sick ass. Sorry but you're disgusting. You violated a young girl. Oh and you hit her with a tablet. Wow you need serious help.

If you don't have a lawyer you better ask for a public defender and if you don't qualify get one. Otherwise you can plead guilty and do your time.

You've "been ready" to pay for your mistakes for two years now? NO bullshit. If you truly felt guilty you would have turned yourself in.

The reason the experts here have been telling you to stop posting here and speak only to your attorney is that anything you say here can not only be found, but also used against you in court. If you are at all prudent + concerned about minimizing your sentence, you won't post here (or anywhere else) anymore.

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Quoting qwaspolk69

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The judge will never read your letter. That's a fact so don't even waste your time. Your ex should have dumped you the minute you told her what you did AND called the police on your sick ass. Sorry but you're disgusting. You violated a young girl. Oh and you hit her with a tablet. Wow you need serious help.

If you don't have a lawyer you better ask for a public defender and if you don't qualify get one. Otherwise you can plead guilty and do your time.

You've "been ready" to pay for your mistakes for two years now? NO bullshit. If you truly felt guilty you would have turned yourself in.

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Qwaspolk,

As far as the letter goes... I'd send it at sentencing... and supposedly in California, the judge can/will read that.
For legal advice, I find yours lacking, but appreciate the response either way.
No need to apologize (even if insincere)... I agree completely... she should have done exactly that.... my parent's could have/should have too when I told them... nobody did... can't go back in time now...

What I did was disgusting.. completely... the tablet thing, was an accident... but whatever.. throw it all at me.. I completely understand. accidents such as these should never happen, and it being an accident doesn't make it ok in the least.
it may be hard to believe, but I didn't want to end up this way... the fact that I did... to me, says it could happen to anyone... because that's not "who I am" but who cares at this point...

I did/do feel guilty... I guess I should have turned myself in... I have no good answer for why I didn't... self preservation I guess... I've been suicidal though it all.. I guess my ex staying with me, and family still loving me just the same, made me try to keep on as normal... I really don't know...

No real difference between then vs now.. would have been better then... just because of relationships growing/started a new job etc...


As far as what I've read... if you've already committed a murder, and the therapist does not think you are STILL a danger to anyone, they don't have to report you and it' against their code of ethics to do so..
if you are PLANNING to commit a crime... then they would be required.
If I'm delusional, I blame the internet...
http://irreverentpsychologist.blogsp...le-murder.html
https://www.cphins.com/crimes-and-confidentiality/
http://jaapl.org/content/jaapl/14/3/221.full.pdf

eerelations,
let them throw the damn book at me... I already lost the most precious person in my life thanks to this. **** me losing her, what's worse is that I caused her enormous emotional pain.
being suicidal for so long, I really don't care what happens at this point... too much of a coward to end it myself, don't want to disappoint my parents like that... I don't deserve the easy way out anyway.... maybe someone in Jail will do it for me.

If I'm able, I'm going to try to get into some kind of study to help people understand this problem... maybe my life can help prevent this from happening to others in the future...
And not that they'd need my help, but if I could I'd like to help the police take down the sites I've come across in the past that have under-age material...
otherwise... I don't care much what happens to me... I'm not as good as pond scum to most of the world... what's the damn point

If you don't want people to say nasty things, don't post your story on the Internet. Seriously -- anybody can register and post in this forum, so as much as we try to limit nastiness here it's going to happen.

In terms of writing a letter to the judge? That's not appropriate. Talk to your lawyer.

not sure why you think I mind the nasty things... sure I respond, but I understand where it's coming from.

But it's clear that I won't find any more assistance here. This thread can be closed if anyone so desires... but if I see replies... I probably won't be able to help but respond myself.

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Quoting eerelations

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The reason the experts here have been telling you to stop posting here and speak only to your attorney is that anything you say here can not only be found, but also used against you in court. If you are at all prudent + concerned about minimizing your sentence, you won't post here (or anywhere else) anymore.

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I find this the most "particularly important" pieces of advice. During a way less traffic infraction issue one young man had he posted his, very detailed account of the situation on this website. This website caters to The US, Canada, and the rest of the world. I work in a small county in Northern California. The minute this kid started telling his side of the story in court, I immediately knew the rest of what he was going to say. I whispered to the officer sitting next to me what he was going to say next. The officer thought I was Rainman. That was just an infraction with a few paragraphs of an explanation.

Your case is WAAAAAYYYY more serious than a silly passing on the shoulder ticket.
What people here are trying to say to you is don't send the letter to the judge and shut up. Use your 5th amendment right. In fact, you should probably disconnect from the internet so your tendencies dont tempt you. You can make your sob story at the end of the trial. That is where you fall on the sword. Not here. You probably handed over evidence to the DA that they didn't know about. You are likely tacking years onto your sentence.

Speak to YOUR lawyer and no one else.

I guess you missed the part where I said I confessed it all to the police after I'd been read my rights...
In a room with video recording, with them taking notes... I recounted everything I've said here.. in more detail since they were actively asking questions.

There is nothing more to say that they don't know... so.. I'm kind of past the point of 5th amendment rights...
as I've said multiple times... let them tack on years... I'd rather be a helpful member of society... but if they want to lock me up... I'll live in the shitty place and survive as long as I can on the taxpayers dollar... I'll talk to the therapists there, and still try to help any way I can.. otherwise I'll read, work out, etc... I'll might be attacked/killed... it is what it is... it's much more valuable to me that someone else might be able to read this and have it help them in SOME/ANY way... than for me to try to lessen my sentence...
Hard to talk to my lawyer about it... gave them $4500 already, and won't meet with me till the arraignment... which isn't for another month... I left a voicemail yesterday, haven't heard back yet.. and hard to discuss when I work 9-6

Although I really do appreciate that advice.. you are good people

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Quoting unknown13

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I guess you missed the part where I said I confessed it all to the police after I'd been read my rights...
In a room with video recording, with them taking notes... I recounted everything I've said here.. in more detail since they were actively asking questions.

There is nothing more to say that they don't know... so.. I'm kind of past the point of 5th amendment rights...
as I've said multiple times... let them tack on years... I'd rather be a helpful member of society... but if they want to lock me up... I'll live in the shitty place and survive as long as I can on the taxpayers dollar... I'll talk to the therapists there, and still try to help any way I can.. otherwise I'll read, work out, etc... I'll might be attacked/killed... it is what it is... it's much more valuable to me that someone else might be able to read this and have it help them in SOME/ANY way... than for me to try to lessen my sentence...

Although I really do appreciate that advice.. you are good people

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Please, please, PLEASE understand that even though you confessed, the matter is not necessarily over and done with. This is why you need to be talking to your attorney and only your attorney.

I'm telling you this not out of any rush to get you off the site, but because your attorney needs to know who you've spoken to, what you've said and figure out what kind of damage control may be available.

Out of respect for all of you, I'll listen.
astounded that anyone cares enough to try to get me to help myself, figured even the lawyers only do it for the money.

Thank You,
And Goodbye.

(but regardless of it's affect on me/my case. Please leave everything as is in this thread... I really think if anyone else is ever in a similar situation, I'd like for them to be able to find this)

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Quoting unknown13

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not sure why you think I mind the nasty things... sure I respond, but I understand where it's coming from.

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This site has been the subject of a four-year campaign of nastiness by a woman who got upset that somebody here criticized her for asking if she could fake a separation or divorce from her husband to try to lower his child support obligation to his children from a prior marriage. You may want to wear a hair coat, self-flagellate, and all that, but not everybody does, even when it's relatively mild and well-deserved.

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Quoting unknown13

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Qwaspolk,

As far as the letter goes... I'd send it at sentencing... and supposedly in California, the judge can/will read that.

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It's better to just apologize in person, out loud, at sentencing. The judge isn't going to read a letter. Letters for sentencing purposes should come from friends and family and they should be sent to the probation department who sends a copy to everyone. If you are found or plead guilty, you will meet with a probation officer and you can tell them your story and how awful you feel. Talk to your attorney. Posting on here won't help you.